Posts by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #9m151H7kBU0oV7W53Y by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-08-18T12:31:48Z
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@Emerence_hopes @MacGueurle i will go hopefully with that for the moment, with one eye on what comes next - there is a deep irony in this, that i am sooooo tired, mostly of hanging in while women i really love go on their own trajectory. it has been a long, long decade.
(DIR) Post #9mBBMpMVtgaaIDGega by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-08-23T13:27:57Z
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@NeoRadFem @Kateco i hear you - this stuff is hard. and i think it's also hard when there's so much furrowed-brow, beard-stroking, fake-academic fuckwittery from so many wokey-blokies. It's all misdirection to cover the very basic central truths. For what it's worth, my responses in these conversations depend very much on how much stamina i have, whether they're people i care about (i am more likely to give time and energy to people i love, or people who are working it out in good faith), and which particular battles i can fight that day. And I would love us to have a thread or two here about the strategies women use - which ones work, which ones have been hard, and some rehearsing. It's so much easier if I've done some thinking and practising in my head first. My strategies, to start us off; i like creating cognitive dissonance with questions and then leaving the questions hanging (this needs thought in advance), and I like pointing out process dynamics sometimes, in a 'curious' way (as in 'it's interesting that you're less prepared to listen to a woman who has expertise in this than you are to listen to XXX - why is that?'), and sometimes i do the "so, are you telling me....?" And sometimes, i go with 'oh fuck the fuck right off and when you get there fuck off some more...' And, always always happy to listen to other women's frustration and venting
(DIR) Post #9mJ6kUXK26KU9AT23c by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-08-27T09:28:28Z
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@Lemondrizzle @terven_witch yes, thank you from me too. One of the things i am realising as i'm in conversations here is how long i have been trying to hold a line and a boundary and how embedded that has become in me. It's been so necessary, and still is in so many spaces, and I don't want it to be my default or reflexive. So i'm thinking a lot about that too - what i would like my reflexive to be, how to understand when i'm reacting and not responding, and also how much the last 10 years have cost me, in so many ways. Really happy we're having conversations about process as well as content. Thanks again
(DIR) Post #9mVDvfuI8UxKwLOAjY by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-01T21:22:08Z
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BBC Documentary on Harvey Weinstein (Unouchable) tonight is a hard watch, but important; women's voices in the centre and grounded in analysis of structural power
(DIR) Post #9magTGygY4VMiJfcfI by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-04T15:56:02Z
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@blackilocks @MonsterousBee and also Judith Herman (from Trauma and Recovery);"Women quickly learn that rape is a crime only in theory; in practice, the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women's experience of violation, but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.That level turns out to be very high indeed."
(DIR) Post #9mba6RrJWOwTEXupMG by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-05T07:22:12Z
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@darwi_odrade @blackilocks @MonsterousBee from experience, i think a lot of women and girls struggle to find the words for their experience; the public idea of rape is so limited (stranger in a dark alley etc), the sociall gaslighting around it is so entrenched, the implications of naming their partner/ colleague/ friend as a rapist so overwhelming, the psychological consequences so powerful, that what I've seen is women kind of walking up to the naming and then backing away. And it can take a long time and solid support to fully name it. At the same time, there's also a really strong sense of something having been wrong, and being wrong, that won't go away. It's so hard to be in that space of knowing, without words, that something profoundly violating has happened, and then being able to name it and be ready for all that that means. As a process, it's incredibly hard, much harder, i think than is generally recognised or understood.
(DIR) Post #9mbk1kkcqw3nv7BeqG by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-05T09:04:03Z
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@Funsizescot1975 @Lemondrizzle part of me thinks he was never intending to - i have this lurking suspicion that he and the other disaster capitalists were planning to push hard on no-deal, crash out to their own maximum profit in early november and then walk away from the mess (i.e. throw an election). i don't think they ever intended to be responsible for what came next
(DIR) Post #9mcaWmI8N2QdI7yWxc by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-04T19:58:34Z
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@MacGueurle @Moonbuggy @Iz @RadicalMe18 https://grace-notes.blog/2019/03/26/all-the-times-i-wasnt-raped/
(DIR) Post #9mcaWmkUfb76i5FBAG by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-05T07:25:05Z
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@Moonbuggy @MacGueurle @Iz @RadicalMe18 ah, thank you. i wrote it in a state of absolute fury after a mandatory security training workshop where one of the male trainers was adamant that sexual violence came in the category of 'personal responsibility'. It was one of those moments where i'd heard it one time too many 😉
(DIR) Post #9mdp3vAKOkI1BmZ4bo by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-06T09:19:08Z
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@Lemondrizzle @Alecto i feel like there is definitely a niche to be filled through the feminist retelling of these stories, with this language and style. (as in 'here is another manbaby incel wailing about how unfair it all is and wreaking havoc to get his rocks off') 😂 😂
(DIR) Post #9mdqfibBfYyvAjiNwe by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2019-09-06T09:37:17Z
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@Lemondrizzle @Alecto fab, i'm buying them too. still think there's room for a whole 'manbaby' and 'totally entitled twat' series (poss illustrated by Jacky Fleming? 😉 ). Maybe this could be my next massive procrastination project?