Post B6Ed9oAwUEqtqzB54y by artemis@dice.camp
 (DIR) More posts by artemis@dice.camp
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9nxpH0MPCJ2bdQ by artemis@dice.camp
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       Ohhhh!If someone asks you questions about something you don't want to talk about, you don't have to give deflections & partial explanations.You can say "I don't want to talk about that."It's possible they'll think you're rude. But you aren't obliged to explain yourself simply because someone asks.My friend was asking me questions about something she didn't know was a sore subject, & I kept giving partial answers, & she kept asking. I could have just said I didn't want to answer. Huh.
       
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9oAwUEqtqzB54y by artemis@dice.camp
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       Honestly it's fucking weird how—as long as it's not considered intimate/private—there seems to be a social expectation to be willing to talk about anything people ask about, & if you aren't willing, you're supposed to duck & dodge the questions rather than simply decline to indulge someone's curiosity.
       
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9oRxSySmhl8fbM by artemis@dice.camp
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       A lot of social conventions really ignore consent.
       
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9og8cFo1Pjlzhg by artemis@dice.camp
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       Socially, people get to place demands on you for no reason other than the fact that they want to.Triple that if you're a woman.And that's just how we go around interacting with each other for some goddamn reason.
       
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9osXs7jM2DZu2i by artemis@dice.camp
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       But just think how many plots in movies & TV simply wouldn't happen if instead of going "how will I ever explain this to my neighbors????" & making up lies when they get asked about the thing, the character would just say "I'd rather not answer questions, thanks" & go about their life.All kinds of wacky hijinks start with someone telling a lie when they get asked a question about something out-of-the ordinary they did. It's a staple of comedy.
       
 (DIR) Post #B6Ed9p88w8CuoasMM4 by ska@social.treehouse.systems
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       @artemis And that's one of the staples of comedy I don't like, in the same way that I don't like making fun of the embarrassment of people not knowing their way out of such or such social paper bag (typically, but not only, "I want to approach this person and I'm terribly awkward"). It's a kind of punching down, trying to make fun of victims of real societal ills that we should address, but the writer doesn't know the answers, doesn't know how to address them, and it's pretty obvious in the writing. The bit screams "haha, sucks to be in this situation, right? aren't you glad you're not that person? because I, the writer, sure am!"It's just lazy, and not what good comedy should be.