Post B5zhcCwPUHpNDUmLqK by pixelate@tweesecake.social
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 (DIR) Post #B5zhcCwPUHpNDUmLqK by pixelate@tweesecake.social
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       I promised some one I wouldn't hurt myself. That promise was put to the test today. We had teacher's appreciation day, Taco Tuesday knockoff in the room where we have presentations every month on a lot of nothing.I was working on setting up SearchNG, self hosted search engine. Coworkers were all about going to eat tacos. Tacos tacos tacos. I didn't feel hungry, I wanted to keep working. Be alone. No noise. But they insisted I go, so, remembering my promise, and knowing if I skip a meal that would be hurting myself, I went.I got there, and some one made a taco for me. A soft taco. Hamburger meat, rice, beans. That's all I wanted really. She closed it but didn't fold it.I sat down with my mostly prepared taco and think I almost had a panic attack for the first time in my life that I know. I tried to breathe deeply and all that. I could barely think through the oh my goodness what do I even do, filling my mind. I eventually folded one end so hopefully the inside wouldn't fall out, and ate it. I don't feel much better after a meal, but I wasn't on the edge so much that I couldn't remember to give a coworker the screw driver that came with the Monarch. Now I don't have anything I could usefully hurt myself with at home or work. I mean I guess I could cut myself on the sharp, 3D printed wire organizer thing on the desk, but if I commit suicide, I would want to be alone so that I cannot be saved.
       
 (DIR) Post #B5zhcDYLDGAX78Wdxw by snowyfox@deadinsi.de
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       @pixelate 💙