Post B5lRwDfgADe5nF2CaO by artemis@dice.camp
(DIR) More posts by artemis@dice.camp
(DIR) Post #B5lRwDENnhoMQaGP2W by artemis@dice.camp
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Please just let this meeting end. I'm tired of human voices.
(DIR) Post #B5lRwDRqzcaR6MZA2K by artemis@dice.camp
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We're at the "end chatter" portion of the meeting. I can't get out without being rude, but trying to process people's verbal output is really, extremely tiring today.I could hardly bear to make conversation with my lovely spouse this morning, that's how much I don't want to have auditory conversations, but here I am trapped listening. This sucks.
(DIR) Post #B5lRwDfgADe5nF2CaO by artemis@dice.camp
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Does anyone else just sometimes want to scream when spoken at?Sometimes I cannot find a sense of well-being until I can be in a quiet place where no one is talking.
(DIR) Post #B5lRwE8ORSc9EIT8LI by artemis@dice.camp
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Me trying to explain this to my spouse at the State Fair last year after I got overheated & overstimulated: "no, I know it's much quieter & cooler in this building, but I'm still listening to a whole lot of people constantly talking. It doesn't matter that the volume is lower: the voices are never going to stop. I cannot recover in this environment."
(DIR) Post #B5lRwEXuuZ1yVSPW7s by artemis@dice.camp
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We were there with his dad, & we had to leave early because I couldn't take it anymore, & it sucked. I felt like garbage for having sensory needs.It's not that anyone *told* me to feel horrible about myself. They didn't have to. I sometimes can't do things that other people can, specifically things that it is generally believed *everyone* can do. Even when people are kind & accommodating, it still feels like shame & failure to end the outing early "just" because I'm suffering.
(DIR) Post #B5lRwEwNRcb3jJr3Fg by artemis@dice.camp
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It sucks to feel so unwell that you want to hold your head & howl from the absolutely unbearable overstimulation while trying to behave as though everything is perfectly fine because otherwise you'll be "ruining" everyone's fun.Yeah...this definitely started in childhood. It is unacceptable, I seem to feel, to have mental, emotional, & sensory needs that might limit or cut short another person's enjoyment of something.
(DIR) Post #B5lRwFMFtPIT1ZxiaW by artemis@dice.camp
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Some friends sometimes seem to feel I don't care about them because I avoid making plans, but frequently I go out & get into situations that fucking hurt & distress me, for which the only relief is the kind of calm, quiet, & sensory comfort that you rarely enjoy anywhere but at home by yourself.Maybe someday there will be little "quiet" rooms everywhere you go, & it won't be stigmatized to go off by yourself until you feel better, but until then... going out places is fucking stressful.
(DIR) Post #B5lSWH7yn3HUwESrUe by lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me
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@artemis Oh yeah that is very relatable, like malls and similar places often make me want to go away fast somewhere quiet, specially when I'm tired.
(DIR) Post #B5lSZFAUX2cVjJ3SxE by ska@social.treehouse.systems
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@artemis If you're at work, I understand it can be difficult, but nowadays whenever I'm in a meeting, as soon as all the points of order have been addressed and we're entering the "end chatter" phase, I cut it off. I excuse myself, get up, and go my way. I'm sure it is perceived as rude sometimes, but I care about that less than I care about my need for getting out of the forced social environment when it isn't necessary anymore. And I suspect that more often that not, it's not so much perceived as rude as it is perceived as efficient or serious: I want to get back to my work rather than socialize (which is perceived by most as a break, but it's not the case for me).But I also suspect that the fact that I'm a 50ish white guy helps with the perception of seriousness rather than rudeness, and that not everybody can pull it off easily.