Post B4QgVzqoIVpKapWNA8 by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
(DIR) More posts by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
(DIR) Post #B4QgVxWWwwPtNM19H6 by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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cute cis lesbian looking girl came up to me on the train, said "excuse me do you have a…" and then started blushing and stuttering and stopped making any sense, and then after i said "i don't, sorry", she said "btw you're so pretty, i just wanted to say that" and walked awayand all i can think about now is "oh no she clocked me"
(DIR) Post #B4QgVxjeAAuO229cie by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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she even made a second pass by where i was sitting, seemingly wanting more contact? but all i could think about was "oh no she clocked me"
(DIR) Post #B4QgVxwPOj7Ifc7obw by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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she probably didn't, but it's all i can think about
(DIR) Post #B4QgVy8oeb2dI5viwy by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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logically though she definitely did clock me, because nobody would say anything like that to me unless they were trying to be nice and supportive because i'm transso i just kept my head down and made myself small and unobtrusive
(DIR) Post #B4QgVyLZt9FXvftuqG by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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offline i've been told by two people that i look nice. both were perfect strangers and what seemed like cis women, who just happened to bump into me at the grocery store and (now) on a traini'm trying really hard to feel nice because of it. but having never been told anything like that before, except when someone wanted to point out to me that i look bad, or when one of my exes would tell me she's out of my league, or getting bullied for how i look for a few years, and getting snide remarks about it from cis women throughout my life… it's hard ngl
(DIR) Post #B4QgVyZl2QamdeXEwa by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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it's kind of sad how i've had like ten relationships that were a year or longer, but nobody ever really said anything about my looks except to pick on it
(DIR) Post #B4QgVyl6MFfNCpqIcq by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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this is probably a big reason why i just don't trust cis women. when a cis woman is nice to me, my instinct is always that it's a trap and if i don't remove myself quickly she'll turn it into an attack
(DIR) Post #B4QgVyxVc7ahpJeCxs by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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now that i say it out loud that's actually exactly how i was bullied by the cool girl gang throughout upper secondary school. because, you know, i looked like a nerdy girl even though i was supposed to be a boy
(DIR) Post #B4QgVzIQMMJysBQuZ6 by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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so i guess the tl;dr is: don't expect something nice to happen if you compliment random trans women in public, at least not if they're like meon the other hand i've come to think that most of us aren't, so like, maybe it's still worth a shot
(DIR) Post #B4QgVzdL6b3Fv3DcAK by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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type of girl who thinks that if she works really hard to look better than what should reasonably be possible for her, then she might actually be able to blend into the background and go completely unnoticed
(DIR) Post #B4QgVzqoIVpKapWNA8 by jasmine@chaosfem.tw
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look, my brain has settled the matter now, it's easy: either she clocked me in which case it was an awkward pity compliment, or she didn't and then it was awkward flirting that i couldn't reciprocate in good faith without coming out
(DIR) Post #B4QgW0ECtWXflOT3dA by qlexy@chaos.social
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@jasmine girl, even if she did clock you, cis lesbians genuinely are incredibly into trans women, let me tell you. being visibly trans is hot, too. that being said, I think a lot of people here envy you because you look so pretty and femme. I know how hard it is to get out of your head though. *hugs offered*