Post B4G0B7545BurHNwtI8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) More posts by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) Post #B4G0B6hfUBCW6p0Cp6 by futurebird@sauropods.win
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I know 8 trans people well and many more as acquaintances. The 8 people I know well range from being an old childhood friend, to coworkers, to students, to neighbors. I'm mostly aware that they are trans at all due to the increase in anti-trans laws and blatant transphobia in the US. Were it not for that? I might not know or even care. I worry about them. In each case the fact that they are trans is one of the less interesting things I know about them.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B6u4k37qjIo7A8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
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I sometimes want to just explain to the bigots, this could all be very normal if you'd stop huffing bigoted media and get to know someone who was trans. It's just like ... a hormone imbalance that can be treated. It's like being mad at people for having red hair. If only you knew how boring this could be, how normal. How easy to forget that they are trans. And I could just forget, if it weren't for the bigotry and the threats to their safety.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B7545BurHNwtI8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
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In decades of knowing trans people in being in places that are more accepting of trans and LGBTQ people I've never once had someone say "how dare you misgender me" though if someone had I don't know if that would matter, it's just nothing like what people expect and fear.No one is pole dancing. I do not live in a gay pride parade. I'm a Christian, I go to church now and then. I'm inwardly kind of prudish and I don't even like being around people swearing much.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B7Kf9COQ3lFLbU by IngaLovinde@embracing.space
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@futurebird > I've never once had someone say "how dare you misgender me"Because usually it goes like that: X: insistently on purpose misgenders Y, adding a bunch of transphobic shit.Y: "could you please not misgender me?"X: doubles down on misgendering, adds even more transphobic shit. Y: "COULD YOU PLEASE NOT"X: triples down. Y: "you're asshole", and leaves (if possible) X, later: "ah, these trans people, they always say "how dare you misgender me""
(DIR) Post #B4G0B7ZYFqIonwDEoK by futurebird@sauropods.win
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All these nerds are so normal. And we are all robbed of feeling normal by the bigotry. I'm glad that I'm not exceptional among the cis people I know in these communities, who are like me frustrated and angry that people we care about are being used as political props. But how do you explain that everything is normal? How do you make a big sensation about how there is nothing sensational about the fact that people may change their name, or their gender?
(DIR) Post #B4G0B7vWw7spu6Un4K by futurebird@sauropods.win
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And if you don't like slightly sheltered nerds who wince when we hear swear words there are people who are more outgoing & bodacious: some of them are trans. It's very normal and boring. No one cares.Whatever cultural daily norms you find ... normal could include trans people. It wouldn't matter. It has no impact on your life.Why has your fear reached across the country and made one of my students nervous that he can't get his medicine?How fucking dare you.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B8IvX8bB4fRTXM by futurebird@sauropods.win
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I can understand the fears that people have for their children. "be yourself" is good advice but being yourself can be dangerous. And that's often not fair. You might tell your teen daughter "you're not leaving the house dressed like that" you know she could be hurt. It's "better parenting" to make it clear why you are making such demands, but there is this practical impulse to keep young people safe. I've spoken to parents of trans kids filled with fear.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B8kDteQuRKDH5E by futurebird@sauropods.win
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But, having seen decades of trans lives as an outsider I think it's better to still be yourself in the end. It's healthier. It's safer. That it is less safe to be a trans kid than a cis kid isn't the fault of trans kids. Like, we all knew that, right? But it's worth saying anyway I think. Even if we enter a more repressive world I will still know the same number of trans people. This is nothing new, and maybe we are painfully turning a corner.
(DIR) Post #B4G0B97yTLQpczKF6W by futurebird@sauropods.win
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It already exists in little pockets, it works better than the alternatives. It's spreading. Maybe things are going to get worse before they get better but I believe in and want the future where being trans is boring.
(DIR) Post #B4M8dPGQ2LSOMb1OGu by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
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@futurebird Being gay is a far bigger part of my life than being trans. Because I walk around holding my partner's hand. Or giving her a hug. Or we smile at one another and pay for food together. It's easy for people to tell we're a pair of women who are together.Trans? I'm in no way ashamed of it, and sometimes I have a trans pride something or another around. But most of the time? It's about as interesting of a part of me as where I went to college. Sure I still deal with the remaining body dysphoria, but so do cis people.Just leave us alone and we'll be your slightly quirky neighbors who are a bit more empathetic to the plights of both genders than average.
(DIR) Post #B4M8dPTBGtfJ0AzaAC by lxo@snac.lx.oliva.nom.br
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I've often been curious about how people who are both transphobes and homophobes deal with couples like you and your partner. I won't pretend to be able to understand how their prejudiced minds work, but I would imagine their phobias should cancel out upon seeing a couple that they might think of as a man and a woman. yet I guess somehow they manage to accept the transition so that both phobias are triggered. if you don't mind my asking, is this what your experience is like?CC: @futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) Post #B4MBOJ1DH3FeVrOrfE by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
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@lxo @futurebird Well we're both trans, live in "good" states, and just cut people out of our lives if they're shitty about it. So we don't really know nor care what they think. They're just dead to us if they don't accept both parts of us.
(DIR) Post #B4MBOJBUepTV1kD4gi by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
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@lxo @futurebird plus "stealth" enough most strangers just say "eh more woman than man, well just assume gay over trans"
(DIR) Post #B4MBOJK09CHRS8Brwu by lxo@snac.lx.oliva.nom.br
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sorry about the wrong assumptions, and for answering gracefullyCC: @futurebird@sauropods.win