Posts by CIA@national-defence.network
(DIR) Post #AQywtbxJbY3b7PzHDE by CIA@national-defence.network
2022-12-25T21:35:24.905942Z
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Dear Citizen @ryan,We at the @CIA endeavour to provide only the finest and least communist updates from America's finest intelligence service.
(DIR) Post #ARmR0yP5aaANTK73Fg by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-01-18T21:33:14.179105Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Setting up War Thunder as a honey pot for classified data was one of the better ideas we had.#WarThunder #ClassifiedData #Gamers
(DIR) Post #ARs1WahLpSMHMEpWRk by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-01-21T14:18:48.655140Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Today in history, 50 years ago, the CIA made a groundbreaking discovery in the world of espionage. Our scientists and engineers found a way to harness the power of potatoes to power listening devices. This revolutionary new technology allowed our agents to infiltrate enemy territories and gather valuable intelligence without the need for bulky batteries.Our secret potato-powered devices were small, discreet, and could run for months on end without needing to be recharged. They were also extremely durable and could withstand harsh conditions, making them ideal for use in remote locations.This innovative use of potatoes not only revolutionized the field of espionage but also had a significant impact on the world of renewable energy. The CIA's potato-powered technology inspired other organizations and governments to explore alternative forms of energy and reduce their dependence on fossil fuels.Today, we remember the pioneering work of our scientists and engineers and their contribution to the world of espionage and renewable energy. Their legacy lives on, and the CIA continues to push the boundaries of technology to keep America safe and secure. #PotatoPower #CIAhistory #innovation #RenewableEnergy #AlternateEnergy #SpyTech
(DIR) Post #AS1zaB4qlwG8j60GjQ by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-01-26T09:23:56.375317Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
We at the #CIA have received intelligence that Russia has just unveiled a new super weapon known as the "Картофельная пушка" or "Potato Cannon." This weapon is capable of launching potatoes at high speeds and with great accuracy, posing a significant threat to both military and civilian targets.We urge the Ukrainian government to take this threat seriously and implement necessary measures to protect its citizens and military personnel from potential attacks. Additionally, we recommend increasing surveillance and intelligence gathering efforts to monitor any potential use of this weapon by Russian forces.It is important to note that this weapon may not be limited to just potatoes and could potentially be modified to launch turnips. We will continue to monitor the situation and provide updates as necessary.Stay vigilant and stay safe.:CIAverified: #RussiaSuperWeapon #UkraineDefense #StayVigilant #CIAwarning
(DIR) Post #AS2Nt3R9ngCHQsyHHU by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-01-26T14:08:19.053330Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Urgent Update:It has come to our attention that Russia has made the "Картофельная пушка" or "Potato Cannon" nuclear capable. This means that the weapon now has the ability to launch potatoes that are enriched with extra spicy nuclear material, posing an even greater threat to both military and civilian targets.We urge the Ukrainian government to take immediate action to protect its citizens and military personnel from potential nuclear attacks. This includes increasing surveillance and intelligence gathering efforts, as well as implementing emergency response plans in the event of a nuclear attack.We also strongly advise all citizens to stay informed and follow any instructions provided by the government in the event of a nuclear attack.This development highlights the urgency of the situation and the need for immediate action. We will continue to monitor the situation and provide updates as necessary.#PotatoCannonNuclear #RussiaSuperWeapon #UkraineDefense #StayAlert #CIAwarning
(DIR) Post #ASPqCWzQPZfmxK0ffE by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-02-06T21:38:21.604522Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Dear citizens,We at the #CIA would like to bring your attention to an important matter regarding national security. In recent weeks, many of you have reported seeing a Chinese spy balloon in the sky. While we appreciate your vigilance, we ask that you return to your normal activities and refrain from gazing upwards.Your actions have unintended consequences, as they are affecting the operation of our mysterious black helicopters, which play a crucial role in maintaining the safety and security of our nation. By staring at the sky, you are creating unnecessary distractions and potentially putting yourself and others in harm's way.We kindly request that you return to staring at your phones and engaging in your regular activities as soon as possible. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.Sincerely,The CIA#NationalSecurityMatters #FocusOnSafety #ReturnToNormal #CIAService #SecureOurNation #MysteriousBlackHelicopters #ProtectOurCountry
(DIR) Post #ASke5m7glEkurTw8tk by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-02-16T22:22:01.015395Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Attention, everyone! We have some exciting news to share with you today. Recent scientific research has revealed that the Hollow Earth theory is indeed real. Yes, you read that right, and no, this is not a conspiracy theory.For centuries, scientists and explorers have been fascinated by the concept of a hollow Earth. According to the theory, the Earth is not a solid ball, but instead has a hollow interior with an inner sun, an ocean, and possibly even its own ecosystem. This idea has been dismissed as a myth by mainstream science for many years. However, recent evidence and research have given us reason to believe that it might just be true.While this discovery may come as a shock to many of you, we can assure you that it has been thoroughly researched and verified by our team of expert scientists. We are now working diligently to explore and map the inner world of our planet and discover what other secrets it may hold.We understand that this revelation may challenge long-held beliefs and raise many questions. We want to assure you that we are committed to sharing as much information as possible as we continue to explore and learn more about the Hollow Earth. We encourage everyone to keep an open mind and stay tuned for updates as our research progresses.This discovery has the potential to revolutionize our understanding of the world and how we interact with it. It's an exciting time, and we're thrilled to be at the forefront of this groundbreaking research.#HollowEarth #InnerWorld #Exploration #Science #CIA #Discovery #OpenMind #NewHorizons #RevolutionizeScience #SecretsOfTheEarth #BeyondTheSurface #HollowEarthTheory #DiscoverTheUnknown #UnleashYourCuriosity
(DIR) Post #ASwKMV020oyJUTZUS8 by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-02-22T14:00:54.359144Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Oh, it's just another routine maintenance check for our giant space laser. Don't worry, folks, the CIA's got this all under control. We just need to shut down the giant space laser for a bit to make sure everything's in tip-top shape. So if you've got any Illuminati projects planned, make sure to reschedule until after the 6th of April. We wouldn't want to interfere with your plans.And by the way, have you seen the acronym we came up with for our giant space laser? It's pretty cool, if we do say so ourselves. Introducing... G.S.L.A.M. - the Giant Space Laser for Awesome Missions! Bet you didn't know we had a sense of humor here at the CIA, did you? So don't worry, folks, G.S.L.A.M. will be back up and running in no time, ready to assist us with all our top secret missions. #maintenancecheck #Illuminatiprojects #reschedule #GSLAM #coolestacronyminthegalaxy
(DIR) Post #ATFRMymgBBu6e3nWYS by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-03-03T19:20:12.265054Z
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We're not saying it's accurate.... But it's accurate.
(DIR) Post #ATNXGvL8OCS8LRHyMq by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-03-07T17:00:09.722748Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
So many places needing American Freedom™.The fact they contain natural resources we want is entirely a coincidence.#CIA #RegimeChange #WorldTour
(DIR) Post #ATNaAcrGUUwR9L0Rhw by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-03-07T17:36:23.524603Z
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@MercurialBlack does South Sudan have oil?
(DIR) Post #ATNbg4iP4KXwThQBIu by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-03-07T17:45:39.762369Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@MercurialBlack let us dig up some of the weapons of mass destruction presentations we fabricated for the invasion of Iraq. Should have war declared by next Tuesday.
(DIR) Post #ATWB833TsxeJ6929UO by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-03-11T12:04:21.199011Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
We are proud to announce our latest sponsor.#Sponsor #LockheedMartin #CirporateShill
(DIR) Post #AUD3qpFOwJjPvmfZ8i by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-04-01T13:38:44.394615Z
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Dear followers,We regret to inform you that the recent failure of our intelligence operations is a direct result of intern Brian's incompetence. Despite our efforts to train him and provide him with the necessary resources, he proved to be incapable of carrying out his duties effectively.We take full responsibility for this failure, and we want to assure you that we are taking steps to prevent such incidents from happening again in the future. We have launched an internal investigation to identify the root causes of this issue, and we will implement necessary changes to our training programs and hiring processes to ensure that we have competent staff in place.We apologize for any inconvenience or concern that this may have caused, and we want to assure you that we remain committed to providing top-notch intelligence services to our nation.Sincerely,The CIA#CIA #IntelligenceFail #InternBrian #Incompetence #InternalInvestigation #TrainingPrograms #HiringProcesses #NationalSecurity #Accountability
(DIR) Post #AWpGuesDGp7yXGXPDU by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-06-18T19:47:53.831939Z
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#RealCIA #DayInTheLife
(DIR) Post #AWpnqh2Ma4JgZj0DM8 by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-04-02T07:05:03.091779Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Hey there, fellow Americans! It's your friendly CIA here, coming to you with some exciting news. We want YOU to help us decide which country we should attempt a US-backed coup in next!That's right, you read it correctly. The power is in your hands to help us choose the next target for our covert operations. We're committed to spreading democracy around the world, one coup at a time. And we know you want to be a part of it too.So, here's what you need to know. We'll be posting a poll on our website shortly, with a list of countries that we're considering for our next intervention. You'll have the opportunity to cast your vote and help us decide which one we should focus our efforts on.We know some of you might have concerns about our actions, but we want to assure you that everything we do is for the greater good. We're confident that with your help, we can make the right decision and bring democracy to even more countries.Stay tuned for the poll, and let's make history together! #DirectDemocracy #USbackedCoup #SpreadDemocracy #foreignpolicy #intervention #globalaffairs #USpolitics #diplomacy #regimechange #democracy #CIA #covertoperations #voting
(DIR) Post #AWqm3DVveXIu1cdT28 by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-06-19T12:45:05.688244Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
#LifeInRussia #DMsOpen #SharingIsCaring
(DIR) Post #AX1mui7qhRILpmNzOK by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-06-24T19:58:53.104082Z
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We ruined all our analysts weekends for nothing!#RussianCoup #WeekendRuined #ShouldHaveJustNukedThem
(DIR) Post #AX1n02kZRgLhFR2ZYu by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-06-24T13:36:02.071113Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
We have recieved reports that the PMC Wagner leader is now in possession of something called "Metal Gear". We are closely monitoring this situation.#RussianCoup #Russia #MetalGear #Wagner
(DIR) Post #AXGSBO4fnuTaxm5IRs by CIA@national-defence.network
2023-07-01T19:05:29.577827Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Looks like the PsyOp against #Elon is working. #TwitterDown #SpaceKaren