Post B2enkfQHfBrZXArGRU by MCDuncanLab@mstdn.social
(DIR) More posts by MCDuncanLab@mstdn.social
(DIR) Post #B2enFCg6UCGdPGFqjY by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:17:25Z
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When I was in middle schools this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada" "He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.Well. She just married Kyle. KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
(DIR) Post #B2enMpFBUumb2kIWwa by Moss@beige.party
2026-01-25T22:18:38Z
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@futurebird wait though did she announce the marriage on Instagram and he has six fingers?
(DIR) Post #B2enSaCMLje87MiobY by xxyxxy@sfba.social
2026-01-25T22:19:48Z
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Haha! Go Cricket! @futurebird
(DIR) Post #B2enWOBowJRU22HiWu by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:20:31Z
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@Moss Nah. She's not on social media.
(DIR) Post #B2enibEUGuN5xWM2Hg by girlonthenet@mastodon.social
2026-01-25T22:22:42Z
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@futurebird I love this so much.
(DIR) Post #B2enkfQHfBrZXArGRU by MCDuncanLab@mstdn.social
2026-01-25T22:23:05Z
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@futurebird @Moss Are you sure she hasn’t spent her adult life dating Canadian men named Kyle?
(DIR) Post #B2enoJF64VCRtvMWNk by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:23:46Z
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Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen. I really doubted he existed at all. But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
(DIR) Post #B2env4U9KxCe9wcxW4 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:24:59Z
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@MCDuncanLab @Moss I mean it can't be that hard... maybe?
(DIR) Post #B2enyXqwbaBa6twhOa by esvrld@normal.style
2026-01-25T22:25:34Z
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@futurebird truly it's the post-truth era
(DIR) Post #B2eo4cb1smSiYiOoQi by stevegis_ssg@mas.to
2026-01-25T22:26:40Z
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@futurebird https://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/
(DIR) Post #B2eo5X4jtVV9j4jKVs by PizzaDemon@mastodon.online
2026-01-25T22:26:42Z
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@futurebird but aren't like 40% of Canadian men named Kyle? How do we know it's the same one? Could be a dream made real.
(DIR) Post #B2eoIxPlHGg3BCxrn6 by philleu@mastodon.social
2026-01-25T22:29:15Z
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@futurebird @MCDuncanLab @Moss Handwriting analysis should be able to clear up any doubts.
(DIR) Post #B2eoKRfYHDyNIp3mAy by asakiyume@wandering.shop
2026-01-25T22:29:33Z
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@futurebird ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
(DIR) Post #B2eoqFlm3Sg5fB8aem by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:35:18Z
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@vivtek I am not a Kyle truther.
(DIR) Post #B2eoxgrNjQ57i4J4ts by faraiwe@mstdn.social
2026-01-25T22:36:38Z
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@futurebird gasp. Canadians are REAL??
(DIR) Post #B2ephTruMkO2jpO5NA by aprilfollies@mastodon.online
2026-01-25T22:44:54Z
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@futurebird @vivtek That just made me chortle out loud.
(DIR) Post #B2eq1OgbLM9qSOazi4 by nickzoic@aus.social
2026-01-25T22:48:29Z
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@futurebird @Moss to be fair, if she gets this kind of result from participating in a postcard exchange, the world of social media is not ready for her.
(DIR) Post #B2eqWgnm2WbpcQs7EG by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-25T22:54:11Z
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@faraiwe They had better be. I'm counting on it.
(DIR) Post #B2esFB7uknVqMj4QD2 by intransitivelie@beige.party
2026-01-25T23:13:23Z
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@futurebird The twist is that Kyle was real, but Cricket was a figment of your imagination. In fact, are you real? Am I real? Oh god, I'm coming down!
(DIR) Post #B2eum3CpQKSjGSAgAy by TheVoidTLMB@social.vivaldi.net
2026-01-25T23:41:43Z
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@futurebird As a Brit, the thing I’m most sceptical about is that someone might be called “Cricket”. 🙂
(DIR) Post #B2ev7EgfvnUyxFEYUK by renardboy@mastodon.social
2026-01-25T23:45:34Z
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@futurebird boyfriends from canada are real, I was one at some point
(DIR) Post #B2evBgWGOVAGQsU8Zs by Hawaii@mastodon.world
2026-01-25T23:46:22Z
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@futurebird Oh wow, this just reminded me of the film "Muriel's Wedding." Classic Toni Collette comedy, well worth a visit.https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110598/
(DIR) Post #B2extf6rCGFii5hPRQ by sakhavi@aoir.social
2026-01-26T00:16:43Z
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@futurebird Kyle is real; Canada is fake
(DIR) Post #B2eyjKnTxmW0lpHB4K by ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org
2026-01-26T00:25:47Z
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@futurebird LOL what
(DIR) Post #B2eyycLwyNmFYxgZlo by sarae@ecoevo.social
2026-01-26T00:28:49Z
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@futurebird lol I did that myselfmy boyfriend really did live a couple of hours away and he really did work ungodly hoursand sometimes he couldn't make it over for stuff, and vice versaand we really did get married!and all those other things are still true but he's like 4 years from retirement and vested in a good pension plan so we're just gonna keep commuting for now 😆
(DIR) Post #B2ezrPjpZmJkMjz77A by johnefrancis@cosocial.ca
2026-01-26T00:38:44Z
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@futurebird I play hockey with Kyle all the time.
(DIR) Post #B2f0VkoEeatJIeHRho by Burn_this_@beige.party
2026-01-26T00:46:01Z
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@futurebird Was there peyote at the event?
(DIR) Post #B2f0gOd3Sa6lh67puS by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-26T00:48:00Z
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@sakhavi "The impossibility of Kyle (and Canada) in the mind of an American in 2026"It's just a huge taxidermy hockey guy in a big metal and glass tank.
(DIR) Post #B2f19ZcZfbbGBSoUoS by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-26T00:53:16Z
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@Burn_this_ ... cannot 100 percent rule that one out
(DIR) Post #B2f1ggFs1iIOJYyqx6 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-26T00:59:09Z
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@mycrowgirl did you just
(DIR) Post #B2f1hLaAN9tMUNn8mO by flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
2026-01-26T00:59:21Z
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@futurebird ngl if you were telling me this story I would have stopped you at “Cricket” and asked more about the girl
(DIR) Post #B2f1nFxuAaLqnziGau by bougiewonderland@freeradical.zone
2026-01-26T01:00:21Z
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@futurebird Once upon a time, I was someone’s Canadian girlfriendAlso often thought to be imaginary
(DIR) Post #B2f1wJH7EW3Rg211vM by stephanie@ottawa.place
2026-01-26T01:02:02Z
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@futurebird Omg that is hilarious. Poor Cricket 😆
(DIR) Post #B2f4kzwj3aKqPGmBMW by megsouth@c.im
2026-01-26T01:33:37Z
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@futurebird@miniature@sauropods.win http://my-girlfriend-who-lives-in-canada.urbanup.com/1069400
(DIR) Post #B2f4lpMLu48ZrW9rt2 by PalmAndNeedle@norden.social
2026-01-26T01:33:47Z
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@futurebird @mycrowgirl How big is Kyle? Does he qualify as Big Kyle?
(DIR) Post #B2f4undbfqIx82VUyO by hitsuyonai@mastodon.online
2026-01-26T01:33:04Z
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@Ashmire @TheVoidTLMB @futurebird For the benefit of our American cousins: Cricket is a 'game' 'played' between two teams. A player on one team is armed with a club, and a player from the other team repeated throws a rock at him, basically trying to kill him. For some strange reason the chap with the club isn't allowed to hit the rock thrower with his club. It does seem weird that American parents might choose to name a daughter Cricket![@keefeglise for more details] [+baseball/rounders]
(DIR) Post #B2f4uoDPWiwcv5G5mT by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-26T01:35:18Z
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@hitsuyonai @Ashmire @TheVoidTLMB @keefeglise It's a lovely name for a girl. Like Myrmica or Coleoptera (Colie for short)
(DIR) Post #B2f96CvmNI4uZlhbg8 by starraven@mastodon.scot
2026-01-26T02:22:16Z
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@futurebird Love wins.
(DIR) Post #B2fFb0n6A0FRctiJPM by Captain_Jack_Sparrow@mastodon.world
2026-01-26T03:35:03Z
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@futurebird Perhaps Kyle is an Alien in disguise.
(DIR) Post #B2fGpucJUsgQmBL1Yu by Mojoscope@mastodon.au
2026-01-26T03:48:53Z
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@futurebird so basically bullying her coz you didnt believe her. Nice.
(DIR) Post #B2fKeNyCw8VS9fL1e4 by ottaross@mastodon.social
2026-01-26T04:31:40Z
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@futurebird Kyle was always going on about Cricket. We thought he meant the game. Best wishes to both of them. No more test matches.
(DIR) Post #B2fKzjLKfS6iWVKfrs by moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
2026-01-26T04:35:34Z
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@futurebird I went to grad school in Kentucky for reasonswhere "girlfriend in Ohio" was the same fakeness as "girlfriend in Canada" is up herei can also confirm my "girlfriend in Ohio" was real but wow did we not get married and DOUBLE-wow did I dodge a bullet
(DIR) Post #B2fL2yceJeOEmPyqGW by ghouston@mamot.fr
2026-01-26T04:36:08Z
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@futurebird I'm imagining single people in Canada suddenly deluged with propositions from people from the US who they haven't seen for years, or perhaps never even met in real life.
(DIR) Post #B2fLAQShCwwN9KsPtQ by benroyce@mastodon.social
2026-01-26T04:37:30Z
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@futurebird i was just about the marry my Canadian girlfriend today then Kyle showed up, professed his love to my girlfriend in the damn churchand i couldn't believe it, she turned and looked at me, i will never forget that look, then she abandoned me for KyleCricket and I are halfway through a bottle of cheap liquor right now
(DIR) Post #B2fLp1MLRWPxAWGNwO by kevinrns@mstdn.social
2026-01-26T04:44:49Z
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@futurebird So is Canada.
(DIR) Post #B2fWrWjQs4OeXkSZRA by dicenbuttons@mastodon.social
2026-01-26T06:48:32Z
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@futurebird Canadians are some of the realest people I know.
(DIR) Post #B2fZ6GUzhs0ORxrVBo by Noortjevee@mstdn.social
2026-01-26T07:13:34Z
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@futurebird pic or it didn......ohhh i see :)Thats nice though...But pardin my euro trashness, post card exchange?Like...pen pal things?
(DIR) Post #B2fg3rnJHnNyvjETJo by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-26T08:31:39Z
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@Noortjevee Yes, it was this thing we did in Girl Scouts where we'd send a post card to a kind somewhere else in the wold and they'd write us by. My postcard buddy never even sent me the first card back and she gets a whole Canadian boyfriend out of it? In just two years?
(DIR) Post #B2fyOvWWPkdPkhZVj6 by DocBohn@techhub.social
2026-01-26T11:57:07Z
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@futurebird The Importance of Being Kyle
(DIR) Post #B2g0JIelh2w7fWsDzM by TheVoidTLMB@social.vivaldi.net
2026-01-26T12:18:30Z
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@futurebird 😂
(DIR) Post #B2g1LTgnkDoaQ5QX56 by KatS@chaosfem.tw
2026-01-26T12:30:05Z
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@futurebird Complete failure to resist, combined with the DJ in my head doing what it does."Is this the real Kyle? Or is this just fantasy?"It went on, but frankly it got worse from there.
(DIR) Post #B2g1dHAN2lqonCkDo0 by evert@mastodon.social
2026-01-26T12:33:19Z
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@futurebird Bigfoot is always blurry on photos so I hope the wedding pics succeeded.
(DIR) Post #B2g85DrzUc5mOzrBLM by sovietfish@todon.eu
2026-01-26T13:45:35Z
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@futurebird @sakhavi And now, due to Heated Rivalry, Americans can only imagine such a Canadian as gay (and smokin' hot)