Post B26y7JSWRdOLBkbmds by jerzone@techhub.social
(DIR) More posts by jerzone@techhub.social
(DIR) Post #B26tpE5PHZflUnuskq by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T13:50:59Z
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Is it just me or does this ad for pistachio milk feel a little… pushy? over ambitious?What? I don’t even get a say in this?Just the whole city… captured by big nut. (I think this would feel less alarming if they’d left off the word “now” — and it would feel less alarming if I didn’t feel so fragile at the moment about strange incomprehensible forces coming in and taking over out of nowhere)
(DIR) Post #B26ttxrl13Radbn8IS by jenesuispasgoth@pouet.chapril.org
2026-01-09T13:51:47Z
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@futurebird “I'm the captain now„
(DIR) Post #B26tzhecCkSc5wNfEm by MisuseCase@twit.social
2026-01-09T13:52:48Z
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@futurebird There is also a big ongoing pistachio recall because whatever farm or region most pistachios in North America come from seems to have a salmonella problem! So I guess these advertisements are going up while there is a huge issue with contaminated pistachios.
(DIR) Post #B26uHr3fyjxiTRl3zM by davep@infosec.exchange
2026-01-09T13:56:07Z
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@futurebird I guess you'll all have decent potassium levels if nothing else.
(DIR) Post #B26uKVPeuczaD7Iw1Q by thecrushedviolet@mstdn.games
2026-01-09T13:56:36Z
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@futurebird I've found each new milk craze a little weirder than the last. But mostly because none of them ever approach the level of protein in cow or soy milk so it just seems so... pointless? to me. But I've literally never had a glass of milk for the taste so I am not the target audience I guess.But yes the current levels of pistachio marketing are so strange to me.
(DIR) Post #B26ufA2DagODzNBnpg by dancast@wandering.shop
2026-01-09T14:00:18Z
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@futurebird <Late night, a dark room in a tower illuminated by garish neon coming in through the window. A large man stands by the window, looking out on Times Square, hands clasped behind his back>Kingpin: New York City runs on Táche now.<Threatening music swells>
(DIR) Post #B26uqCI9XVYaAruBdI by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T14:02:22Z
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@davep As someone with nut allergies I feel a little threatened.
(DIR) Post #B26uwvqz3SBzDePOJk by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T14:03:34Z
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@dancast This is exactly what happened I assume.
(DIR) Post #B26v23wIQ5OLkDL7kO by erik@mastodon.infrageeks.social
2026-01-09T14:04:27Z
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@futurebird Also amusingly, “tache" in french means stain and looking at the overflowing glass, this looks like a likely outcome.(granted without the affected accent on the á)
(DIR) Post #B26v3mQmUClC1SPxyq by sovietfish@todon.eu
2026-01-09T14:04:46Z
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@futurebird Oi vey that is some primo marketing bullshit right thereBut if you're going to peddle weird "I AM YOUR IDENTITY NOW" subtext, NYC is probably a good choice of place to do it. I guess rather a lot of young people move to the city to "find themselves", maybe some of them are dumb enough to use public advertisements as sole source material from which to cobble together a new sense of self
(DIR) Post #B26vHyao49eznNsOmW by Karen5Lund@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T14:07:21Z
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@futurebird The overflowing glass seems a bit extra. Also, I don't like pistachios.
(DIR) Post #B26vKLv6J4EqitVBK4 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T14:07:50Z
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@sovietfish I’ve been here for a minute or two (twenty five years) and I am baffled by this truck, the product, and as they say: who is this man? who is this?
(DIR) Post #B26vU4EOvZNIl5A5z6 by TeflonTrout@beige.party
2026-01-09T14:09:31Z
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@futurebird @davep Y'all I am DYING can we please just stop pretending we aren't hung up on getting caught on big nut!?
(DIR) Post #B26vV00w5n4By7JA36 by GeoWend@kosmos.social
2026-01-09T14:09:33Z
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@futurebird …..great, the city is now running on something severely allergenic to me….(chuckles)
(DIR) Post #B26vYekT6Dm1AmLiOe by sovietfish@todon.eu
2026-01-09T14:10:21Z
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@futurebird Who indeed, who indeedI find NYC to be anthropologically fascinating in many ways, but the ways in which advertisers are quick to capitalize on/encourage a sense of "you've made it; you're a New Yorker; you are among the trendsetters; this weird nut milk no one has heard of is REALLY big here and you're a part of that, aren't you?"
(DIR) Post #B26viIRgsM4etiAA9Q by ephesossh@mastodon.online
2026-01-09T14:12:04Z
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@futurebird "captured by big nut"Yes I'll take "things I never expected to see on a tombstone for $500"
(DIR) Post #B26vtZBYyfVW06zeYi by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T14:14:10Z
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@Karen5Lund why can’t it just be“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
(DIR) Post #B26wDfI1zX24izbPd2 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T14:17:48Z
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@GeoWend same— my unease is not helped by the fact that a teaspoon of that stuff would literally kill me.
(DIR) Post #B26xLepNh2rpYvZoW0 by Karen5Lund@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T14:30:25Z
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@futurebird No, nor me either. Advertising isn't about stating the benefits of your product.
(DIR) Post #B26y7JSWRdOLBkbmds by jerzone@techhub.social
2026-01-09T14:39:00Z
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@futurebird "The milk you can't stop pouring. No, really, stop pouring!""You'll get a 'stache from Táche!""Táche, we take the Pis out of Pistachio."Yeah, they probably didn't have a lot to work with.
(DIR) Post #B271KaLHHhinB5Ex9c by log@mastodon.sdf.org
2026-01-09T15:14:54Z
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@futurebird I feel violated by that ad which is clearly. Spilling it. Everywhere!
(DIR) Post #B272GUA4QFs6nvbh6O by adriano@lile.cl
2026-01-09T15:25:29Z
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@futurebird @Karen5Lund "Don't sell the pistachio milk, sell the sizzle. Put a cast-iron pan to the fire, wait until it's very hot, pour some pistachio milk.Scream in pain as the instantly boiling pistachio milk scatters everywhere and burns your delicate skin.Táche."
(DIR) Post #B272JRUymMKfPlnTbE by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T15:26:04Z
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@jenesuispasgoth help!help someone please help!the nutmen have attacked and they are running the city now!whatever do we do :(
(DIR) Post #B272LUXASsXnPKnW8u by steve@discuss.systems
2026-01-09T15:26:23Z
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@futurebird if it were in Philly, they could have said “Philly runs on Táche anymore,” and then it would be ok.
(DIR) Post #B272MHP2lsA0yKNDma by sovietfish@todon.eu
2026-01-09T15:26:32Z
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@futurebird @Karen5Lund "Pistachio Milk: It's a Thing Now! Available in Unusually Bougie Bodegas Citywide"
(DIR) Post #B272NXOMoFxuqoemYa by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T15:26:49Z
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@adriano @Karen5Lund now THATS advertising
(DIR) Post #B272RAMMNx3EZkRrAO by adriano@lile.cl
2026-01-09T15:27:27Z
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@futurebird @Karen5Lund Táche rejects all liability for medical care derived from buying the sizzle
(DIR) Post #B272nlOFO60hnJ6e7E by jmax@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T15:31:28Z
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@futurebird @Karen5Lund But can I get it chocolate flavored? Basic nutritional information, there.
(DIR) Post #B2734z3Fqdnz5TUxfc by GlasWolf@mastodon.scot
2026-01-09T15:34:38Z
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@futurebird The name makes it sounds like moustache milk, and although I don't know what that is exactly, I definitely don't want any.
(DIR) Post #B274Htoeiz6aZJOOIq by amorphophalex@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T15:48:10Z
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@futurebird "we have the nut juice" would actually go well in my area, especially during Folsom fair season.
(DIR) Post #B274dogUU74H1X1Yki by tkinias@hcommons.social
2026-01-09T15:52:07Z
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@futurebird We would be living in a much better world @Karen5Lund
(DIR) Post #B275hSCm6VcYPyQIUa by lffontenelle@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T16:03:59Z
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@futurebird 1. They are probably trying to surf the new mayor's wave??2. This Portuguese-language video from BBC News says most of the pistachio actually comes from the US. Production is increasing steadily, so they are pushing for increasing adoption so that they can keep selling for a high price.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR3881oE8dA
(DIR) Post #B276ndDeAOvaGkLBCq by hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com
2026-01-09T15:37:56Z
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@futurebird They will have to fight Dunkin' Donuts for the title.
(DIR) Post #B276necqwAgUdD8p8K by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-01-09T16:16:01Z
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@hypolite I’m confused is one not allowed to use pistachio milk in dunkin’ donuts coffee? Don’t they have like nine kinds of milk in there already??
(DIR) Post #B27D3KQAQOJ8KI45OS by Joannanewsomsuperfan@mas.to
2026-01-09T17:26:24Z
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@futurebird I, for one, welcome our new nut overlords@jenesuispasgoth
(DIR) Post #B27DJcpxip484ltwp6 by hudsonart@mastodon.social
2026-01-09T17:29:19Z
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@futurebird Can't help but think of this... https://recalls-rappels.canada.ca/en/alert-recall/various-pistachios-and-pistachio-containing-products-recalled-due-salmonella-5
(DIR) Post #B28fFabP54FhrRuoi0 by IngaLovinde@embracing.space
2026-01-10T10:17:00Z
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@futurebird they captured us by the nuts