Post B0Iwp8zNtdX10RQpyC by cobalt123@beige.party
(DIR) More posts by cobalt123@beige.party
(DIR) Post #B0IbEyjSSJqXjTtcZs by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-16T09:35:04Z
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I don't know why it's surprising that most bi/pan people end up with a partner of the opposite gender. Most people are straight. It's just math. Really it's more remarkable that so many bi/pan people *don't* find such relationships. I suspect this is because one wants to avoid homophobic and trans phobic people. And while most of them are also straight, it's not as big of a proportion.
(DIR) Post #B0IcW7FK9cOb10XLN2 by llewelly@sauropods.win
2025-11-16T09:49:21Z
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@futurebird I guess the hard part is accounting for context: the built-in biases society has taught us to pretend are neutral.
(DIR) Post #B0IdCtItrp1oE4be8O by benni@social.tchncs.de
2025-11-16T09:57:02Z
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@futurebird the bi/pan-people in my circles are all in relationships, often multiple ones. The straight people are not. Just to add another data point ;)
(DIR) Post #B0IdJufzAAxoVdkj0i by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-16T09:58:22Z
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"Most people are straight."There are people on the fedi who will be shocked to learn this, so there is learning all around to be done.
(DIR) Post #B0Idkal9Jxs8YctCgy by purplepadma@beige.party
2025-11-16T10:03:07Z
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@futurebird Exactly this. I have been married three times - cis man, trans woman, cis man - for this reason. The queer woman dating pool is a lot smaller and then there is definitely biphobia in the lesbian community. So there are just more available men
(DIR) Post #B0Idn9b2ljGPBKNsW0 by purplepadma@beige.party
2025-11-16T10:03:37Z
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@futurebird Haha you couldn’t tell from this platform
(DIR) Post #B0IeJRft5egwW6310q by IngaLovinde@embracing.space
2025-11-16T10:09:24Z
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@futurebird I wonder how many people would be straight if the society was not so heteronormative (i.e. if they weren't pressured from birth into being straight)
(DIR) Post #B0IeRxHhRv4Wryn9cG by 5tern1@corteximplant.com
2025-11-16T10:10:58Z
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@futurebird I always thought they choose opposite gender relationships in the end because it's the easiest way to have children
(DIR) Post #B0IeqfXGZnoN3trDZg by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-16T10:15:28Z
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@mees This is a very bi way of thinking and it can be hard to see that. Frankly it's the biggest tell we have. "What's next? I only date left handed people? How odd. Come on isn't everyone bi? "No, no they are not LMAO. There are straight people and gay ones too, and they aren't bi at all somehow. Bizarre, right?
(DIR) Post #B0If14yspG9MsKjsfY by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-16T10:17:20Z
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@5tern1 IDK if people are that pragmatic when falling in love? Some may be. But it's hard to find someone who you really like and want to be with all the time. The "mechanics" can come later. And there are many ways to have kids if you want kids. (Not to minimize that this can be hard for some people. I really wanted kids, and it's been a struggle.)
(DIR) Post #B0If55iW200cJfzpE8 by AbyssalRook@mstdn.social
2025-11-16T10:18:00Z
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@futurebird Relevant section of a comic from an old fandom buddy.https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/961684/do-things-with-love
(DIR) Post #B0IfJAQzHzi307Vebo by TerryHancock@realsocial.life
2025-11-16T10:20:35Z
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@futurebird The base-rate fallacy strikes again!People's brains are really broken when it comes to reasoning about these things.There is a lot of discourse around social biases that is really just some new application of the base-rate effect. So many "shocking" maps that are actually just population-density maps or the like.
(DIR) Post #B0IgFsw1zjMjoU1qM4 by mothninja@beige.party
2025-11-16T10:31:14Z
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@futurebird @mees I figure that as with most of human anything, it's on some kind of a bell curve shape, and yes there is a proportion of entirely straight people at one end (like me! or, at least, I've never yet been physically attracted to or fallen in love with anyone who isn't of the opposite gender, but you never know) and a proportion of people who are entirely gay at the other end, but most people are statistically probably somewhere in the middle because that seems to be the case with most other facets of humanity, so, yes, I do kind of default assume that most people are some gradation of bi unless they feel the need to tell me otherwise :)
(DIR) Post #B0IgvNkILVoFFBKIme by esvrld@normal.style
2025-11-16T10:38:43Z
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@futurebird well i think it shouldn't be allowed
(DIR) Post #B0IspGzhjYOI17O5r6 by Colman@mastodon.ie
2025-11-16T12:52:03Z
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@futurebird I’ll buy “most people perform straight”. The data doesn’t support “are straight”. Also, I suspect most exclusive homosexuals are also performing a binary sexual identity and a lot of the bi-hate from that end is about their discomfort with that. We’re conditioned to get in well defined bins. Ambiguity is weakness.(I’m boringly heterosexual so far.)
(DIR) Post #B0IwOkwefXGWuDZYa8 by iaruffell@mastodon.scot
2025-11-16T13:32:07Z
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@futurebird Not sure where the OP is going, but the crucial thing is to respect diversity and personal choices. If this is code for giving precedence to a supposed plurality in terms of rights, then that should be stated openly, and ... no.I think anyone queer or trans is all too aware that most modern societies are strongly cisheteronormative. We live this every day.
(DIR) Post #B0Iwp8zNtdX10RQpyC by cobalt123@beige.party
2025-11-16T13:36:51Z
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@futurebird Yep, I’ve never seen so many people who are not cis in a social media space. But I do know what I see is a function of who I follow and vice versa. It was never more clear to me that I’m in a far different Fediverse experience when I learned there were trolls and racists here I never encountered. Any poll I see in the space I’m in I figured is more slanted to a consensus of who I see as my peers. And by the way, I’ve never been around so many people who are ND. Makes me think that literally half the people here are ND. Who I have far more in common with than IRL. Go figure.
(DIR) Post #B0JCKIOeT4fkTMYx9s by bogosity@im-in.space
2025-11-16T16:30:30Z
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@futurebird @mees "Most people are secretly left-handed, they just conform because of pressure from Big Right."
(DIR) Post #B0JT95lolpstLddrqy by realtegan@wandering.shop
2025-11-16T19:39:03Z
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@futurebird In my case it's because I didn't figure out I was bi until I'd been married a few decades to a man. And it took some soul-searching to realize that's actually what I am - although once I looked back on my life it's absolutely obvious.I did a similar soul-search to try to figure out if I was trans, and came to the conclusion that I'm not. But it's been an enlightening journey.I have been masking in various ways all my life. It's refreshing to just be who I am.