Post AxEC4ctYBkBC0egfFA by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
 (DIR) More posts by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
 (DIR) Post #AxEC4DX0UQIBLUwo8O by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
       2025-08-16T09:27:51Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       A recent male acquaintance got out of line with me yesterday. (Not quite an unsolicited dick pic, but in the same ballpark.)I essentially hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.Being the only adult present ain't great.I don't think men realize the scale of this that women deal with, or how exhausting it is. Your "small infraction" might be nothing to you, but it arrives for me on top of a lifetime of harassment. Men, please call in other men, because they don't listen to us. 1/n
       
 (DIR) Post #AxEC4M2UrEEbjTk4KO by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
       2025-08-16T09:30:26Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       This incident wasn't especially egregious as these things go (and they go on all time time), and I'm not saying "poor me". When we talk about these things, men are always shocked, so apparently we don't talk about them enough. Thus here I am, doing my small part.Guys, please don't be creepy. Please treat women with respect. Please get your head on straight. We ask for so little, the bar is so low, just stop rolling under it, please. (And call in each other: it helps.) 2/3
       
 (DIR) Post #AxEC4UyDeVA1QooHPU by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
       2025-08-16T09:33:42Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       Back to the new acquaintance:I explained why the conduct wasn't acceptable, laid out my standards and expectations. Affirmed some of the positive things in our very new friendship. I was kind, gracious, let him save face. Made a suggestion for when and how we might talk next, that gives him some time to cool off and reset (and me, too).Note: All of this is work. Skilled work.It's a friendship I'd like to salvage (for other reasons). But that's going to be up to him. 3/n
       
 (DIR) Post #AxEC4ctYBkBC0egfFA by ShaulaEvans@zirk.us
       2025-08-16T09:36:16Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       There is a point where the ROI for the (emotional) labour in any given relationship (of any kind) doesn't add up. Early days. We'll see. It's a good idea to take a good look from time to time at your relationships and connections, and consider who does the work of making it work -- especially if you are in a dominant social group relative to the other person or have more social privilege. (I.e., it's not about gender, it's so often about kyriarchy.) 4/n