Post At2T4JNAGAClCeHCZU by rlcw@ecoevo.social
(DIR) More posts by rlcw@ecoevo.social
(DIR) Post #At16DRXykDyL3elC7s by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-04-12T13:52:37Z
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Being heterosexual is strange because you are attracted to a person who is attracted to you in a way you can't quite fully inhabit and you are attracted to them in a way they can't really understand. I mean, that's being overdramatic to put it that way. People have DO imaginations (mostly) I suppose they can figure it out. But it is a little strange, right? Not something bi or gay people deal with.
(DIR) Post #At16QiX2uFEpV5eZQu by nirak@carhenge.club
2025-04-12T13:54:59Z
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@futurebird as a pan person it does seem very strange. Being exclusively attracted to any body type is very weird to me
(DIR) Post #At16Zxcs9lMiv5moZE by stilescrisis@mastodon.gamedev.place
2025-04-12T13:56:39Z
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@futurebird I feel like "are they actually attracted to _this_?" is a kind of universal feeling though. I would've thought that extended past gender. We all know our own flaws too well.
(DIR) Post #At172q7F9rFK1dlLQ8 by ramsey@phpc.social
2025-04-12T14:01:50Z
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@futurebird I have often wondered about this, and I will never be able experience how my partner experiences our relationship.
(DIR) Post #At17Dh3z9hWb8QPkHI by promovicz@chaos.social
2025-04-12T14:03:49Z
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@futurebird I tend to view this from a gender angle. Most men have an inner image of women/femininity, so why don't we embrace it as a part of ourselves? Gay/lesbian people might ask: would you date yourself from the past/future? Women I find attractive, often share traits with my "inner girl".
(DIR) Post #At17SgishfEWQHh1V2 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-04-12T14:06:30Z
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@aerror "people do have imaginations"It's an intensifier I think?means the same thing as "people have imaginations" but as if I'm not totally convinced that's the case for every person?"You DO like her don't you?"vs."You don't like her do you?"
(DIR) Post #At17TiR1p6yq1RpfYe by aerror@hub.volse.no
2025-04-12T14:02:59Z
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@myrmepropagandist I am sorry but my understanding of english is lagging here. What does "DO" mean in this context? (I assume it's not the verb doing?)
(DIR) Post #At1AUvvVRn2I1AMP1E by econads@mendeddrum.org
2025-04-12T14:40:33Z
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@futurebird I figure there's a whole load of unnoticed and assumed gender role differences that non-straight people don't have to deal with that comes part and parcel of a straight relationship. I'm sure there's plenty of *other* baggage to deal with instead though.
(DIR) Post #At1CGIb54mqhtTxL7Y by faassen@fosstodon.org
2025-04-12T15:00:20Z
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@futurebirdYes, I would empathize not to underestimate our imaginations! And in a way we are all attracted to the other, no matter the one aspect of sexual attraction. A gay or bi person isn't attracted to a mirror image with the same personality or history. Both deep human understanding and giant gulfs underlie all human connection.
(DIR) Post #At1M72zoi5wyRYklnM by mattskala@mstdn.io
2025-04-12T16:50:43Z
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@futurebird I think most bi/gay people are not primarily looking for mirror images of themselves - there are distinctions other than gender but still significant between oneself and one's desired partner, e.g. "top/bottom," "butch/fem," etc.The issue of not necessarily understanding others' desires is a human universal and not uniquely part of heterosexuality.
(DIR) Post #At1MmlkhDG0N7oZitM by MichaelPorter@ottawa.place
2025-04-12T16:58:14Z
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@futurebird I can see how this leads to a lot of insecurity in relationships: “I know why I'm attracted to you, I don't know why you’re attracted to me”
(DIR) Post #At2T4JNAGAClCeHCZU by rlcw@ecoevo.social
2025-04-13T05:43:21Z
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@futurebirdI don't think that just because the gender is not the deciding factor in partner selection, the attraction of/to other people becomes more clear. They are still different people who experience the world very differently from me, and sharing the same reproductive bits or not does not add a significant level of clarity. I find the concept of preselecting partners based on their bits, about as confusing as people "only being attracted to blondes". Which does not demystify the laws
(DIR) Post #At2T4RHmq2elkHp1Ie by rlcw@ecoevo.social
2025-04-13T05:43:21Z
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of attraction any more , since I don't even have those clear external factors to point to and say: "that's the thing I or they find attractive."And if I would tell you why I find my partner attractive, their looks would not be top of the list, because that's not the main factor of attraction to me. Which is no judgement on their looks whatsoever, they look hot to me. I would just find it super hard to pinpoint why. Not sure all that made sense. 😅@futurebird