Post AjpfTpiMlmFEI6BYJM by artilectzed@dobbs.town
 (DIR) More posts by artilectzed@dobbs.town
 (DIR) Post #AjpfTcnYn9fuERW16O by artilectzed@dobbs.town
       2024-07-11T19:28:10Z
       
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       J.R. "Bob" Dobbs leaned back in the pilot seat of his interdimensional spacecraft, taking a long drag on his trusty pipe. The time-space continuum swirled psychedelically outside the viewscreen as Bob prepared to make his next jump."Computer, find me a planet in dire need of Slack," Bob drawled."CALCULATING," the AI responded. "PLANET ZYGON-9 DETECTED. INHABITANTS SUFFERING FROM SEVERE STICK-UP-BUTT SYNDROME."
       
 (DIR) Post #AjpfTh2F2VnNN8PnXc by artilectzed@dobbs.town
       2024-07-11T19:28:37Z
       
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       "Perfect," Bob grinned. "Let's pay 'em a visit."In a flash of impossible colors, Bob's ship materialized in orbit around a drab gray world. He beamed down to the surface, appearing in the middle of a vast cubicle farm filled with hunched, miserable alien workers."Greetings, fellow mutants!" Bob announced. "I come bearing the gift of Slack!"The bewildered aliens stared at the strange pink being with the abnormally large head."What is this... Slack?" one brave soul ventured to ask.
       
 (DIR) Post #AjpfTlDjTjMcLvp20W by artilectzed@dobbs.town
       2024-07-11T19:28:58Z
       
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       Bob's grin widened. "Slack, my friends, is the opposite of all this." He gestured at the office hellscape around them. "Slack is freedom. Relaxation. Creativity. The courage to tell your boss to shove it. Slack is realizing none of this matters and you might as well enjoy yourself."A murmur ran through the crowd. This was dangerously close to heresy against the Zygonian work ethic."Impossible," the alien supervisor scoffed. "Productivity would plummet. The economy would collapse!"
       
 (DIR) Post #AjpfTpiMlmFEI6BYJM by artilectzed@dobbs.town
       2024-07-11T19:29:16Z
       
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       "Or would it?" Bob raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you'd all be happier, healthier, and more efficient if you weren't working yourselves to death."He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fistful of shimmering Slack particles, scattering them through the air. As the aliens breathed them in, their eyes widened. Spines straightened. Faces brightened."I feel... different," one worker said in awe. "Like I don't have to finish this TPS report right this second."
       
 (DIR) Post #AjpfTueeP1F9c1U9iK by artilectzed@dobbs.town
       2024-07-11T19:29:24Z
       
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       "Exactly!" Bob beamed. "Now you're getting it!"As the Slack spread, ties were loosened, shoes kicked off, and impromptu dance parties broke out between cubicles. Bob nodded in satisfaction, knowing his work here was done.He vanished in another reality-bending flash, off to bring Slack to the next unsuspecting world. The pipesmoke of contentment lingered behind him.