Post AcCiTmBthF0z2HsgnQ by MMA@freeatlantis.com
(DIR) More posts by MMA@freeatlantis.com
(DIR) Post #AcCgPGmwJCCOZlvlIW by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:14:19Z
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Putting this out there and asking for wisdom. Does anyone have relatives who ask you for things and put you on the spot where you feel like you're being selfish if you say, 'no'? I love my SIL to pieces, but every time I have her over she's straight out asking me for things. My clothes, my home decor, my furniture, etc.It's frustrating because over the 25± years she's been in our family, I regularly give her and her kids great gifts. And not just on Christmas, either.
(DIR) Post #AcCgleWGl1acY0o316 by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:18:21Z
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I give because I show love through gifting special things. Also, because I have a knack for finding bargains, I often find things that cost much more than what I could afford on my budget, but I get for a song! The vintage things I gift are kind of a legend in the family. I also pay attention to what people like and search for thoughtful gifts that reflect those likes.I share this to make the point that my family isn't suffering for gifts from me. They don't reciprocate, either, BTW.
(DIR) Post #AcChAFUCy34M9EZR1k by ghast@liberdon.com
2023-11-26T16:22:48Z
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@MMA You're not going to like my answer, but sobeit.I never had immediate family ask me for things. But they have asked me to comply without question to their warped values. And yes, they employed every emotional tactic they could muster.When I was much younger, I paid significant money to help out a girlfriend's family. But there's a reason they were in that spot, and it's a void you can never fill.
(DIR) Post #AcChCReAj1qeRWHJRI by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:23:12Z
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@MMA boy is that selfish. Its perfectly ok to say no and no reason to feel guilty about it. If there is a genuine actual need we should not turn people away, but we shouldn't feed the green eyed monster either.
(DIR) Post #AcChEjtJreL3bcSPlQ by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:23:37Z
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I don't expect others to give on my level-- that's my thing, and I know it. But lately I've been feeling a sense of dread when my family visits because I feel like I'm being picked over for "stuff".I wonder if wealthy people feel this way, expected to give? I'm not wealthy, but I am a bargain finder and I swear angels drop expensive things in front of me all the time. I share them generously because the Lord's always blessing me. But even though I share, my SIL is always asking for more!
(DIR) Post #AcChbopvdytxbUsPeS by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:27:47Z
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@MMA yes, I have plenty of family members that only contact me when they need money.
(DIR) Post #AcChg6djOTCHyhDQZM by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:28:34Z
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I am really struggling with this family thing. I've watched my SIL not get another FT job for going on 4 years now. She was fired from a great job for a mistake, and I think it was wrong. But, since then she's been stuck. She substitute teaches and drives for Amazon to fill in the cracks. My brother still pays her child support, though it's been cut 50% since their oldest went to college.I pushed her to update her resume, taking hours of my day. She only applies to one job at a time.
(DIR) Post #AcCi031uWcwqZc2BrE by 1031@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:31:23Z
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@MMA Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizing consultant, made famous the question: "Does this bring me joy? when trying to determine what to keep or pitch when editing one's house. I've applied this thinking to other aspects of life including how one lives it.As I see it, there is joy in your bargain hunting and in gifting them. You have no control over how they're received, but if that's becoming a factor, is there still joy in it for you? If there is, screw the lot of them. You do it for you
(DIR) Post #AcCi3EwQh8DCNwzbns by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:32:45Z
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She maxed out unemployment and food stamps until she was cut off. And somehow she's always managed to get by.Until her car finally died. Which was predictable, because she was running it into the ground delivering for Amazon.She couldn't drive and didn't have enough for her rent. And I have my mom's car, and mine. I did not feel right having her not be able to make her rent, so I loaned her my own car.Now I'm worried that she's going to keep my car and not make the effort to get a job.
(DIR) Post #AcCiL6Wsi287VZYqoK by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:35:58Z
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I'm paying the insurance, I'm paying the loan on my car, and with the way she's been interacting with me, I'm beginning to feel like I'm enabling her. Is the problem me, or is it her?I did not know things were this bad until I moved to Texas. She is a very nice person in many ways. But she is not good at finding a job and as an only child, she's a bit spoiled. And so are her kids. She is a good person to talk to, but the closer I get to the real her, the angrier I feel.Thoughts?
(DIR) Post #AcCiLaDQKwOJZugjeC by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:36:04Z
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@MMA this is giving me heart burn
(DIR) Post #AcCiNZOgLnTtcRtxlw by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:36:25Z
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@Phil I'm sorry
(DIR) Post #AcCiQuVaJczxxnitlo by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:37:01Z
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@MMA don't be sorry, its sympathetic HB
(DIR) Post #AcCiTmBthF0z2HsgnQ by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:37:33Z
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@1031 I am! And I want to be me, but is me being my authentic self making them expect more? I am very concerned.
(DIR) Post #AcCilZarGvMfB72hKy by Bleukitty@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:40:45Z
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@MMA Your concerns not being selfish are unfounded. Never forget; God helps those that help themselves!Saying NO is a great way to make her become more responsible. So yes you are an enabler.
(DIR) Post #AcCiqlu8vY7KoAXe6K by Bleukitty@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:41:42Z
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@MMA Your concerns not being selfish are unfounded. Never forget; God helps those that help themselves!Saying NO is a great way to make her become more responsible. So yes you are an enabler.IMO, your anger is you know deep down she is using you and you are mad at YOU!
(DIR) Post #AcCiqqXzfKN3CvDWls by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:41:18Z
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@Phil I can't afford to support my SIL not being self-sufficient. I think I need to ask for the car back but I'm not sure how. I already decided that I'm not going to have anyone over for a long time because I'm tired of being asked for things. To be fair to my SIL, I conducted an experiment. She said it's hard to find Jobs in marketing in San Antonio. So I spent about an hour on USAJobs and found three positions. One was one she'd worked before! I proved this to be wrong.
(DIR) Post #AcCis1EhPVJQeDkeKe by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:41:55Z
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@MMA she is taking advantage of you. Its not the end of the world, but I know how it feels. I wish there was a formula and that the solution were simple, but I havent figured it out yet. My basic approach is to ask intrusive questions and make it just a bit uncomfortable to keep asking me for stuff in the hopes it deters the abuse but doesn't stop them from coming to me with real needs.
(DIR) Post #AcCizQo0k3Hvyenpb6 by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:43:16Z
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@Bleukitty I can accept this. Now--How TF do I get myself out of this?
(DIR) Post #AcCj3FJjOgt9VNSUnw by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:43:57Z
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@Phil OK, Yoda,How do I get my car back? Give me the words. You have more practice.
(DIR) Post #AcCj9BFBSFuUbqA3o8 by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:44:40Z
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@MMA I recommend you provide her with a future date you expect the car back and tell her point blank that you can't afford to pay for the car for her to use indefinitely and that it needs to last you a long time because you can't afford to replace it.
(DIR) Post #AcCjB1glx1iPYPwhdY by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:45:22Z
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@Phil And, is the car a real need? I think it is, because I myself have had to ask for help from FA folks on how to fix mine. I don't want to be a hypocrite! But I also don't want my car being run into the ground delivering shit for Jeff Bezos.
(DIR) Post #AcCjCeDAD92lJprz0a by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:45:39Z
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@Phil Beautiful. Thank you.
(DIR) Post #AcCjSSmqSFssWI6JgO by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:46:57Z
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@MMA i think it probably is, but it is God's job to meet her needs.
(DIR) Post #AcCjXdlX3yZC1AxIhc by 1031@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:49:06Z
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@MMA I started to write on this point, then stopped because, well what do I know? Here is what I think I know: We teach people how to treat us. Sometimes unwittingly. That you're asking the question about expectations shows your self awareness, but maybe your family is tone deaf. Maybe they figure that since you seem to enjoy bargain hunting and gifting, they're helping you be happy. Could they be justifying their own selfishness? What happens if you stop? I suspect they'd guilt you.
(DIR) Post #AcCjcvNmzUSy6WMyES by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:50:23Z
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@Phil So that's why I've tried to get my SIL applying to more jobs. Because that's really the answer to her problem. It's obviously something that is bothering her kids too: when we all shared what we were thankful for at this past Thanksgiving's dinner, my nephew said he was grateful and thankful for his auntie helping his mom to finish her resume and apply for a job (one of the three positions I found in my USAJobs search).I am praying she gets it!
(DIR) Post #AcCk1fA0RSuv1zicim by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:54:52Z
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@1031 I think I need to stop. I can give other people things. And I have almost all reciprocal relationships where we're both giving. For all the years I lived in Alexandria VA, I sent my niece and nephew a big box of gifts every Xmas since they're the only ones I have (very small family). Living here has been more opportunity for my SIL (and them) to see my home. That's when the "gimmies" seemed to kick in ("you need to gimme this, you need to gimme that").It wasn't always this bad.
(DIR) Post #AcCkJ9nVmqbyyQXTnM by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T16:58:02Z
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@MMA that is probably the best help you can provide. She may have become discouraged and just needs the emotional support. And give a fish, teach hiw to fish and al that bs.
(DIR) Post #AcCky7ng7Ly6eU9ThA by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:05:26Z
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@Phil It's going to be an especially difficult test for me if she gets it, because she'll be making more than me. But I'm going to pray that she dies, and that I pass that test.In my own life, I'm not exactly dealing with abundance. I haven't shared this, but my new manager declined to promote me this review cycle. She downplayed my accomplishments, too. The year before, I received an 'exceeded expectations' review and she didn't promote me, saying it would happen 'sooner. She lied.
(DIR) Post #AcClKBwrNM9dt6y7vs by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:09:25Z
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I came to the conclusion that the career that I'm in is especially dangerous for promotion because it's subject to whether the manager "feels" you are ready. I had a bad manager and a better manager at these two agencies, and the result was the same. I didn't promote, and everybody else did. The promotion is non-competitive, and I met and even exceeded the qualifications. It's a personal thing. I hate to say it's racial, but I think it is. I'm light-skinned- my bosses aren't.
(DIR) Post #AcClMtymdlW31jA2Fs by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:09:55Z
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@MMA the feds dont recognize accomplishments, if you aren't flashing your flaming leftist bona fides, you are bound to have trouble.
(DIR) Post #AcClfEB8HMNwszfwDg by Andre@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:13:13Z
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@MMA I think you are plagued by "if you don't ask, you don't get" sorta people. They are in the habit of asking all for something, so they tend to get at least something all of the time.It is a very obnoxious but effective habit.I am sorry that you have to deal with this.
(DIR) Post #AcClg0zSnXAMGzaoKm by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:12:34Z
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They're both from Mississippi, too.I have no other reason and it's not one I would normally think of first because I don't see the world in racial terms and I'm not fond of victim mentality. But if it's a spade (LOL what a racist joke) I need to call it a spade. So I'm struggling financially-- I've lost over $55K at this point by not being promoted-- and I am not helping my SIL out of abundance, that's for sure.Thanks for letting me bitch. I needed to vent- having such headaches lately.
(DIR) Post #AcCliauiCsR0GabH8q by Andre@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:13:50Z
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@MMA @Bleukitty "No"
(DIR) Post #AcClkH5yrTF9Nefk92 by Andre@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:13:34Z
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@Phil @MMA Does that include FA family?Asking for a friend (Me).
(DIR) Post #AcCm9UhxO5KOq3Sdpw by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:18:41Z
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@Phil I keep that on the low, trust me. Why do you think I'm so secretive here? I don't want anyone knowing anything. I don't give any donations to any politician, either. Not even one penny! Nobody knows my politics.I came in to the government late. Most often, I'm small groups where we share our history, I'm the only one who's worked on the outside. I am different; I say I 'work for the federal government'. I've never been 'a federal employee'--I don't have that mentality.
(DIR) Post #AcCmCUgztx4vewRVAG by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:19:14Z
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@Andre @Bleukitty I will practice.
(DIR) Post #AcCmG4JxtMYz1nNF5M by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:19:53Z
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@Andre @Phil No worries It's not about you boo 😁
(DIR) Post #AcCmLi1zg69TdPepfM by Timtoolman@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:20:54Z
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@MMA It's hard to do, but you need to get tough on the car. Tell her you need it back and offer to sell it to her so you can get another one to replace it. If she is getting everything she needs without working, then she won't work.
(DIR) Post #AcCmg38euVkOtFTScq by 1031@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:24:08Z
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@MMA I never want to disclose my actual age, in part because I work in a very young aspect of my world - social media - where anyone over 30 is a dinosaur - but I will say I've lived long enough to have observed that people become deeper "colors" of themselves as they age. Put another way, the person who was pink in their 20s may be deep crimson in their 50s. Your family are deepening who they are, & there is no fixing this. They have to do it. Cut bait for your own peace of mind.
(DIR) Post #AcCmlceUIfCUTs1FdQ by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:25:35Z
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@Andre I try very hard to be merciful and give generously because the Lord has been so merciful to me and I've been the recipient of others' generosity.I am feeling resentful so that's my self- check that something's wrong.I'm trying to understand this better so I know how to fix this. I made some errors here and I need to take my lumps and the lesson! I only can control me, not others.I ask for wisdom since if I knew, I wouldn't have gotten myself in this pickle in the first place!
(DIR) Post #AcCmpEVM1MzWkPT7Uu by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:26:14Z
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@Timtoolman This is my fear. Thanks Tim. I hear you.
(DIR) Post #AcCmziZl4YjUuIWobY by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:28:08Z
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@1031 Girl.Well, that's true in my case for sure. Less patient!! More easily frustrated! LOLThese are wise words. I need to get busy figuring out what's a drop- dead reasonable expectation about the car. Sigh.
(DIR) Post #AcCn9aH8mtTq3mWaYK by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:29:55Z
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@Andre @MMA nah
(DIR) Post #AcCnPKyTRc45EoIybA by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:32:23Z
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@MMA im sure that keeps you reasonably safe, but unless you are openly supporting baby killers and commies and openly dem, you are gonna be hampered.
(DIR) Post #AcCnuMaZUY9VDpv3Sa by Bleukitty@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:38:21Z
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@MMA The first time will be the the hardest, it gets easier after that.The relief you will experience from, 'No' will give you a new perspective. I love you. 🤗💗@Andre
(DIR) Post #AcCnwXAL8cNsbZgVoe by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:38:46Z
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@Phil I don't discuss any of that on the job. It's easier when you teleworking.But... the one thing that may have outed me is that I didn't vaxx. I had to request a religious accommodation and the managers see it. Damn. That seems like so long ago now.
(DIR) Post #AcCpYu5YSZ9ceoJ3pI by Mir8085@noagendasocial.com
2023-11-26T17:56:54Z
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@MMA It is possible that your insurance is being violated by the Amazon deliveries. That car is being insured as residing at your house. That long term loan may not be copacetic. Check your policy and then use that as leverage to get your car back, even if you have to interpret it creatively. “Sorry but my company may not pay for damages because the car was being used contrary the policy. I need it back”
(DIR) Post #AcCpphezvB372BtZ68 by Ashley@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T17:59:56Z
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@MMA @Timtoolman Did you by chance get the odometer reading before loaning your car out to her? She and you would both know the number of miles she puts on your auto. The cost per mile of driving an automobile isn’t chump change. Maybe this isn’t very nice in that it would put a price tag on what you’re giving her?? Just thinking out loud .I’m sorry she’s put you in this difficult situation.
(DIR) Post #AcCqwVchAnzRgPcxmK by scottmitchellrose@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:12:21Z
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@MMA nooooooooGet out fastYou have your primary family firstShe sounds like a user
(DIR) Post #AcCrm7Us7R7FuoZtr6 by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:21:42Z
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@Ashley @Timtoolman It's a 2018 CRV and I kept it under 50,000 because it was a lease I bought out. I kept it meticulously. I am not sure she's going to maintain it the way I did either.
(DIR) Post #AcCrxnaDz1aNd4eOiO by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:23:48Z
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@scottmitchellrose She's spoiled. If you met her you would actually like her. She has many good qualities ...but this one issue is threatening to cancel out all the other ones.
(DIR) Post #AcCs4XaLrU3W2VvOwi by Momma_Voke@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:25:02Z
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@Phil @MMA This 👆
(DIR) Post #AcCsXSIyZYWg3qaLIG by Kat@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:29:46Z
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@MMA and run it into the ground like hers.
(DIR) Post #AcCsdaZ4mBC5Pp2Z96 by Ashley@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:30:22Z
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@MMA @Timtoolman Delivering for Amazon, the miles could rack up quickly and might need maintenance sooner. Thinking about what the Pope @Phil said about intrusive questions. This might be an opening for discussion; miles, maintenance.
(DIR) Post #AcCt6yQD9ghfnwuDHk by Ashley@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T18:36:40Z
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@Phil @MMA This is direct and perfect! That’s our Pope.
(DIR) Post #AcD1M0VMUYtyF4zi9g by Andre@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T20:09:02Z
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@MMA @Bleukitty If your practice fails and you have any of those priceless antiques laying around...
(DIR) Post #AcD2Zj5q7nAoFWA7hg by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T20:22:43Z
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@Andre @Bleukitty You know you not right.
(DIR) Post #AcD2yz2nxLEexamoO8 by Bleukitty@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T20:27:17Z
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@MMA @Andre 🤭
(DIR) Post #AcD4arqXGYC3avfxZI by TinyHouse4Life@noagendasocial.com
2023-11-26T20:45:20Z
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@MMA @Bleukitty What are the insurance laws in TX for her driving your car and not being on the policy? You could use that as an kind reason to retrieve your vehicle. You're taking too much of a liability risk to yourself by letting her drive that car. I have a very strict rule about this kind of stuff with family and friends. I just don't do it. I will help with food, baby sitting, things of that nature but they don't get money, cars or a couch to lay on.
(DIR) Post #AcD6FYIIxsyKmXd1fs by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:03:53Z
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@TinyHouse4Life @Bleukitty You raise an excellent point and I'll contact my insurance guy tomorrow. It's the perfect excuse really. And it's not supposed to be used for work so she'll have to declare the mileage as that, which is an additional complication. My rates are based on a daily commute-- not on my car being used as a commercial delivery vehicle.
(DIR) Post #AcD6KQJ85R4hSYKwt6 by CONSERVATARIAN@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:02:03Z
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@MMA If she's only interviewing for 1 job at a time she's not serious about finding a job.1 of 3 jobs on job boards don't actually exist. Average is 1 serious interview per every 50 apps. Many jobs have to interview outside applicants before an already selected internal hire or H1-B work visa candidate. These are the non-serious interviews.@Phil
(DIR) Post #AcD6KR3ZImDnma42Gu by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:04:46Z
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@CONSERVATARIAN @MMA this is true. And it takes at several interviews to get an offer
(DIR) Post #AcD6dGEDmj9bhZ1WOe by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:08:10Z
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@CONSERVATARIAN @Phil I agree that she's not looking for a job correctly. When I'm looking, I'm a machine-- minimum five applications a day, hitting up every job board site that I know, multiple versions of my resume ready to go and just as many cover letters. Her therapist says she has analysis paralysis. Whatever TF that means. I noticed that she overcomplicated getting her resume done. It's a problem for many people, but unlike her they have it written by a service and keep moving.
(DIR) Post #AcD6qSSLdKUlOFvLyy by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:10:33Z
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@MMA @CONSERVATARIAN I have a hard time understanding that. Im far to simple to complicate things.
(DIR) Post #AcD7BT2Wev3lHUrd8S by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:14:21Z
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@Phil @CONSERVATARIAN I have said as much, for the 3+ years post-losing her job.I never had any kind of regular child or spousal support from the ex. So I had to hustle from the very beginning. I never had the luxury of applying to one job at a time and waiting to see if it would work out.She is putting all hopes and all eggs in one basket. Except for--watch for it, it's coming--my mom! I've never seen anyone look for a job that way. Interesting that they are very similar in this.
(DIR) Post #AcD7DWYUYj5glPnS5o by CONSERVATARIAN@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T20:51:29Z
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@MMA Sorry, but she sounds like a parasite. Make up some financial excuse to get your car back.
(DIR) Post #AcD7DXggLlEiH6dVUu by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:14:44Z
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@CONSERVATARIAN @MMA ain't no shortage of parasites.
(DIR) Post #AcD7SDdz9ZmkSGNCdM by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:17:23Z
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@Phil @CONSERVATARIAN I couldn't relate at all. To me it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the world to look up your previous positions on job boards and copy/paste whatever relevant duties and responsibilities you had. Tweak the wording until it describes what you did, add your contact for the job, and on to the next position. It took me eleven hours to force her to complete the template for a federal resume.I have another friend who has resume paralysis. But- she's employed.
(DIR) Post #AcD7dZLCpB4Gvt096O by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:19:26Z
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@Phil @CONSERVATARIAN But couldn't you consider me a parasite too, Phil? There are times when I just don't have enough month left at the end of the money. Define 'parasite' for me, because I feel that it's more for homeless people who are holding cardboard signs on the dude of the highest, but drive away in a Lexus when nobody's looking.
(DIR) Post #AcD7qm8QZITwNQK0OG by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:21:49Z
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@MMA @CONSERVATARIAN no no no. A parasite isn't a person who needs help from time to time, or who for a time is over burdened financially due to circumstances. A person is a parasite when they will freely mooch of another without compunction and ask them for help or stuff that they don't really need, just want.
(DIR) Post #AcD7yjtcmAAPkZC9tw by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:23:15Z
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@Phil @CONSERVATARIAN Ah, so.Then it really is my fault. Since, just because Lucy holds up the football, it don't mean that I gotta kick it. But
(DIR) Post #AcD8FG2D3NTe3j5TRw by Lino0876@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:25:45Z
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@Phil @MMA @CONSERVATARIAN I hate PPL who are compolsive moochers!
(DIR) Post #AcDAjGBvEeV78n43BQ by Phil@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T21:54:05Z
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@MMA @CONSERVATARIAN it is very difficult to refuse people when one has struggled themselves. It is very difficult not to internalize other people's problems. Its quite easy for a person with a generous heart to develop a savior complex. I struggle with this stuff all the time (though I dont have that generous a heart)
(DIR) Post #AcDJyJgtPCz5vRnxcO by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2023-11-26T23:35:42Z
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@Lino0876 @Phil @CONSERVATARIANShe has her good points, and after the great points everybody has made I am thinking that I’m not the best person to be close to her as I am. We did better, when I was further away! This is my fault as well as hers, because I’m supposed to be in control of my own responses, right?I’m going to take the suggestions I’ve gotten and work all of them: Getting my car back, a firm deadline, insurance as the reason, establishing some distance & saying NO is the plan!