Post AWQNb18BU6xZdSae9o by J_T@mstdn.social
 (DIR) More posts by J_T@mstdn.social
 (DIR) Post #AWQNb18BU6xZdSae9o by J_T@mstdn.social
       2023-06-06T11:29:32Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       This #WaterColor has vexed me for months. It was the last major success I had before our daughter died of cancer and I stopped painting for two years. I couldn’t bear to try to make anything beautiful when filled with so much sorrow. While I still grieve I’ve begun painting again, but I’ve lost momentum and am slowly regaining my skill. It’s been a hard journey with many failed attempts. Last night I solved two problems and have a better handle on how I painted this. But I’m still#MastoArt
       
 (DIR) Post #AWQNb32aNtfbYfzCi0 by J_T@mstdn.social
       2023-06-06T11:29:32Z
       
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       recovering from major back surgery and sitting at my drawing table has been challenging. I must work quickly and, being so out of practice, that leads to catastrophic mistakes. I’m comforted though knowing that this painting was not planned to be anything more than a study. Midway through I accidentally dripped some color on top of the rock. That drip became the lighthouse and ultimately the focal point of a beautiful piece. Still, to see this picture every day and know I have lost much
       
 (DIR) Post #AWQNb4ka1oSIrPZqvA by J_T@mstdn.social
       2023-06-06T11:29:33Z
       
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       of the skill needed to make it has been crushing. Worse, my recent #bipolar diagnosis has left me floundering in self-doubt as I have become aware of my ever shifting mental states. And then there’s my career change over a year ago. So much turmoil! But doing good #art requires a quiet and meditative mind. I’m searching for that quiet mind again; I’m looking for those magical moments when light seems to drip from my brush and illusions dance on the paper or canvas. Maybe soon…