Post AW7a1RQQKJMtH3L07c by nvraemdonck@hci.social
 (DIR) More posts by nvraemdonck@hci.social
 (DIR) Post #AW7Td1OUrI0drhPPpw by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
       2023-05-28T16:42:48Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       Can I just say, it's kinda fucked up that the online queer community, which is largely comprised of neurodiverse trauma victims, has settled on weaponizing shame (which is what "canceling" is) as a primary way to punish someone who has violated an unstructured community's unwritten and implied sets of social norms?We really do love to continue to traumatize one another for failing at some of the very things that neurodiverse people are predisposed to find really difficult to succeed at.
       
 (DIR) Post #AW7a1RQQKJMtH3L07c by nvraemdonck@hci.social
       2023-05-28T17:34:41Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @JessTheUnstill social norms can be useful to regulate society but they can also be very oppressive. I have a hard time navigating them myself, I base myself on seeing how others are corrected to know what the social norms are, but that does risk (re)traumatising whoever gets corrected, since the internet's enormous visibility easily turns corrections into punishment. Imo there needs to be a better balance in how visible we make corrections...
       
 (DIR) Post #AW7a1SDhN6mdjsOLvU by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
       2023-05-28T17:55:28Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @nvraemdonck Even the "praise in public/correct in private" doesn't really help 3rd parties. Like if A offends B in a public forum, B DMs A with a correction, A privately apologizes to B and promises to do better, person C never sees that correction and apology. They just see that A did something and didn't get punished for it, thus what A did must be acceptable within the rules. So then B has to end up correcting C, D, E, and F. Whereas if B just publicly put A on blast, C, D, E, and F would learn, but A and some of the others might be traumatized and flee.