Post AVEG15wn8RAv4PVMYK by pmb@universeodon.com
 (DIR) More posts by pmb@universeodon.com
 (DIR) Post #AVDWTvezrhc3fizbjE by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-01T16:52:51Z
       
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       I had a tricky editing problem this morning. I had a sentence with an ambiguous pronoun, but I also had tight space constraints:Such sentences can confuse readers because *they* may not realize you've started a new sentence.Who is "they"? The readers or the sentences? Although you can figure it out, it's not immediately clear.I went with this:Such sentences can confuse readers because *it may not be clear* you've started a new sentence.#AmEditing
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDWq6z4RbffA9xYPo by aka_quant_noir@cinematheque.social
       2023-05-01T16:56:57Z
       
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       @grammargirl This is good also because it puts an onus of clarity on the writer, rather than impute stupefaction onto their readers.
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDXwYno1sN38DKU4W by pmb@universeodon.com
       2023-05-01T17:09:22Z
       
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       @grammargirl Mind if I give it a go at rewording?
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDYXtwiNe1tQEImrQ by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-01T17:16:08Z
       
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       @pmb Sure, be my guest!
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDZ6ZjFXUkcr4XOMq by kyleha@mastodon.social
       2023-05-01T17:22:20Z
       
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       @grammargirl Such sentences can confuse readers because it's not clear a new sentence began.
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDZCo9qnzNrLLx5Q8 by pmb@universeodon.com
       2023-05-01T17:23:31Z
       
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       @grammargirl Here's my attempt:"Such sentences can be confusing because readers may not realize you've started a new sentence."I reworded the first part to remove "readers" so it could be used in the second clause.Thanks for letting me play along! I'm sensing a potential new NYTimes word game 🤣
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDbqhVT9bAICrDKJk by jemal@jemal.contact
       2023-05-01T17:53:09Z
       
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       @grammargirl I would go with:Such sentences can confuse readers who may not realize you've started a new sentence.Seems much more clear to me?
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDljvGqa0HsPSmV1c by MichaelPorter@ottawa.place
       2023-05-01T19:43:59Z
       
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       @grammargirl 30+ years as a teacher trained me to be *very* careful to avoid ambiguity on test questions!I think the Tw!tter character limit helped my editing skills, too 😄 My shot at it:  “Such sentences can confuse readers, who may not realize you've started a new sentence."
       
 (DIR) Post #AVDzBbrXdBkDjFTeJU by Downes@mastodon.social
       2023-05-01T22:14:40Z
       
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       @grammargirl Why not simple "Such sentences can confuse readers who may not realize you've started a new sentence" ?
       
 (DIR) Post #AVE8ol7c2S1DKKjkwa by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-02T00:02:32Z
       
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       @jemal Thanks! That's definitely better.
       
 (DIR) Post #AVE8pIhvATfbUUyicS by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-02T00:02:37Z
       
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       @MichaelPorter Thanks! That's definitely better.
       
 (DIR) Post #AVE8sfgkBJuddN2EIi by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-02T00:03:16Z
       
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       @pmb Thanks! I'm going to use this instead. (You can now say you edited Grammar Girl. 😀 )
       
 (DIR) Post #AVE9PuY9woejHZryYi by grammargirl@zirk.us
       2023-05-02T00:09:14Z
       
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       @Downes That's definitely better!
       
 (DIR) Post #AVEG15wn8RAv4PVMYK by pmb@universeodon.com
       2023-05-02T01:23:13Z
       
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       @grammargirl That’s fantastic, thanks. Grammar Girl is one of the OG language podcasts. Its longevity attests to the quality of your work and so to have you include my edit is quite an honor!