Post AUByQdBgShI64Nf2Fk by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #AUBrhS9a2W4t5mkdVo by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-03-31T16:51:54.275531Z
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@ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I should have listened to you.I have been thinking a lot about the things both of you said about men and now I realise if I had your cynicism and outlook I would not be in this fucked up situation I found myself in. I fell in love with a 55 Yr old male work colleague and he is seen as that nice guy at work. I thought he really liked me. In the beginning he was always messaging even on his day off, he always came quickly running if just had a problem at work then only day he distanced himself from me completely. I worked out and caught him being dishonest about his true relationship status. Whenever he breaks up with his long term partner who is a woman in her 50s he gets involved with other women including employees in the company. I was so heart-broken because he knew I how I felt and couldn't be honest. I confinded in an older woman work colleague friend as I was so heart-broken. After she promised me she will not say anything to anyone the she told the man our private conversation she told him everything unfortunately I really insulted the man in our private conversation. The man out of pure spite picked the phone and rang OUR BOSS to complain about how he feels "uncomfortable" being around me at work and told multiple lies about me. The workplace believed him over me without looking at the facts. My final days at work was spent so being humiliated by my work friend gossip which spread and stressed by because of the mans lying. I got fired for underperforming last month. I was so stupid and naive. Worst of all the workplace saw me as nothing but an irresponsible immature young woman who was besotted with an older man.
(DIR) Post #AUBrhSq7UM6bDiebom by Yhe_XX_Estate@spinster.xyz
2023-03-31T21:01:16.841174Z
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@ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I’m so sorry @MellowMarigold. That man was a conniving asshole - probably narcissist too. You didn’t deserve what he did to you. I understand completely being heartbroken. What a jerk.Hugs to you.
(DIR) Post #AUBrmw1sODwBCLlHhw by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-03-31T21:24:11.439957Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Girl, I am gonna give you the best advice ever from one of my favorite L shows. "TRUST NO BITCH!" You got played twice. By that fucking disgusting evil old man and woman at your job too. NEVER date fellow employees. It never ends well. Rarely do these relationships last, and it will cost you your job. NEVER gossip to your fellow employees unless you are walking out the fucking door (quit). I rarely spoke to any of fellow colleagues at work because I knew anything I said would be used against me. Fuck, I didn't even bother to learn most of their names. That's how little I cared. I was the one offered a raise though because I kept my head down and worked my ass off. It's cut throat. Everyone there wants to keep their job or rise up in the company. They will throw you under the bus if you let them. Don't give them easy way to do it. Do you job. Don't talk to people. This will help you avoid office drama. Go home.
(DIR) Post #AUBsmMeW1HUZQv7ucK by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:01:26.595911Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Oh honey. I’m so sorry. ((HUGS))This will be extremely valuable life experience for you, if you let it. That is, in keeping your personal and professional lives separate, as well as spotting red flags. And (!!!) a warning sign that you need to learn to be content being single.I really, truly hope you are finally beginning to see now that your desperate need for a man in your life is dangerous to you, in more ways than one. Not only can it screw with your job security, but men like that one have an absolute radar for desperation. They will seek out people who feel like they can’t live without a lover; they will use you as long as they please and leave you to deal with the aftermath.You can and will recover from this. One foot in front of the other, love. Not too far in the future, when someone mentions that man or that job, you’ll say “Who?”Chin up 💪 you are capable of more than you realize!!
(DIR) Post #AUBswZ4EiTacpi1NS4 by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-03-31T23:03:47.273216Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I never got to work in an office or experience office culture that previous generations got to have because of the pandemic. My part time job and full time job are all WFH. I hate WFH so much because it's lonely, I feel so trapped and I have no space at home. Most communications with colleagues is zoom meetings and calls sometimes the workplace organises events in the office that is how I met the man for the first time. It was crazy how we ended up having fun that day in the office day and communications between us never stopped. I really thought he liked me and I wanted a future with him. I get sad watching the office because all I see is an office culture I never got to experience because of the pandemic. I always read stories of people meeting their future spouses at work so I thought the same would happen for me too. I am getting anxiety seeing other women i grew up with getting married or moving in with their boyfriends and I am that woman with no man.
(DIR) Post #AUBswZrVlH0NIX4jFw by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-03-31T23:21:04.847128Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont It's mostly fantasy girl, most office/job relationships don't work. I have seen them fall apart in real time, so many times. Lots of the men in offices are already in relationships and are CHEATING! They use their work to find other women. They use their positions of power to influence young or naive women to sleep with them. Girl there was a time I would act as odd as possible, talk to myself, etc etc. Just so the men would fuck right off. It worked. Still works. I am invisible to most men now-a-days and I love it. I had men in the past corner me at my job and force me to got out with me. The would pressure me to say yes. I was so terrified that said yes because he was blocking my exit. He would not let me pass. I said no numerous time. He lifted his hand when I said yes. I once had bosses offer me raises if I slept with them. The shit I could tell you. I dealt with all. Sexual harassment from other employees, male and female, corrupt bosses who would steal money and blame employees. Oh lord..I can go on and on. I have seen it all the time too. I have seen fall outs happen all the time. The woman ALWAYS gets the worst of it. Fuck I have seen job friendships blow up in people's faces. Once went to work and saw people fighting in the drive way. All those people got fired. I didn't. I walked right past them all clocked in and did my job. I still don't know why they were fighting because I didn't care. lol. I just wanted to my job. I had new employees lie and screw me over, lie, and get me fired. My boss believed them instead of me despite my YEARS of hard work. Don't talk to people. TRUST NO BITCH! Never bring relationship nonsense to your job. You'll find someone. Just not at your job. Work hard. Talk to no one. Go home. You will keep you job that way. If you want a man, get involved in other activities. Jobs are a no no. Too risky
(DIR) Post #AUBx67d5z3NcRt8ghU by EatKnitSleepAgain@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:18:49.620389Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I'm sorry this happened to you. When older men seek out relationships with younger, inexperienced women it's because women their own age can see right through their bullshit. You've seen the bullshit too, now, so it should be easier to spot next time.
(DIR) Post #AUBxQndnUpgQXJKLmS by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:46:53.087553Z
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@AbolishPregnancy @MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont This. :heart_parrot: Thank you for this great advice.
(DIR) Post #AUBy1jnuiySBLpflTs by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T01:00:14.666484Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Thank YOU!!
(DIR) Post #AUByQaQSjIKVVLYIN6 by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:01:21.388205Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Thanks 😊 I just loved the attention he always giving me. I spent my life being that invisible girl then women who men never ever saw as beautiful, always rejected, ignored while all the woman and girls around me got complimented and received love. As a result sometimes I felt like I was not a real woman and just a freak due to all the male rejection. I was not attractive as a teenager, and throughout my early 20s, once I hit 25 I began to get attractive the human body is werid. Experiencing male attention for the first time in my life I actually began to feel like a real woman and normal like every other woman my age. It felt great having a man notice me and no longer being the invisible woman.
(DIR) Post #AUByQb2kQwxFQ5Ss2y by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:08:20.902652Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I don't think you're a freak. I bet you're not even as ugly as you think either. Don't base you value on how men perceive you. Men are fucking disgusting. Beauty means nothing to most of them. Most are pornsick. They just wanna get their dicks wet. Literally everything they do, for most of them, is just to get their dicks wet. They serious fuck dogs and fruit and transwomen..... just eww. Trust me. Not having male attention is a blessing. You just were overwhelmed by his affection because you never experienced it. Now that you know most men are shit, you know how to deal with them. Be careful around them. Not all of them are horrible, but most are. Please don't look for love at your job. It never works out well. I have seen successful women, managers, sleep with men under them, and they got fired for it. Don't fuck around with men at your job. HR nightmare.
(DIR) Post #AUByQbjHsmyxY1MqLw by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:23:42.193322Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I was actually was miserable in that job and only liked the salary. The job was very challenging, the client base( NOT ALL) has SOME of the most entitled people with ridiculous sense of entitlement and they take the piss. When I was brutally honest about one annoying social worker client ridiculous entitlement and just unfair behaviour the workplace management gave me a hard time over it. My honestly shocked the workplace and the management. I acknowledge I was harsh my honestly, took responsibility for my actions, tried to redeem myself but management kept giving me a hard time even months after the incident got resolved.
(DIR) Post #AUByQcSJBOzjneQnWi by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:29:22.896752Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont You rocked the boat, and you dated your superior!? Damn I am surprised you lasted that long, honestly. I respect that though lol. I am glad you don't work there anymore though. No pay is worth that. I can't stomach people with entitlement issues. I just can't. The fact that they keep giving you hell afterwards, yikes, how did you deal with that mentally. You're a tough cookie. I respect that.
(DIR) Post #AUByQdBgShI64Nf2Fk by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:51:09.545250Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont In March it was Mother's Day in the UK and in my letter I wrote to my mother on Mother's day I thanked her for teaching teaching me how fight and above all to never ever take any crap from anyone under any circumstances. My mother loved my letter.My biggest regret was not being honest with my family in the beginning about the mans age because I didn't know how to handle my attraction to him and feared what they would think of me. My grandmother was more disappointed at me for not confinding in her. She said "you tell me everything why did you go to that older woman colleague and not me" I am more closer to my grandmother than my mother.
(DIR) Post #AUByQdqnzoBU7utsLg by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T00:54:20.895476Z
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@MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Trust your grandma. She was 100% right. She probably would have warned you way before you stepped on those land mines. The thing that hurts women the most, imo, is our reluctance to listen to other women. We are groomed to hate each other, to mock each other, to put male interests ahead of our own. Please talk to her first, every time, and you will happy you did. Older women KNOW. We just need to listen
(DIR) Post #AUByQf4fRkrnvCOSau by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T01:04:43.216044Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Well, older women except for that clown who ratted out MM. Bet she used her wise grandma vibe like what’s his name projected his hot older man image.I like to think of elders as full of knowledge and inner peace or whatever. Disappoints me on the occasion it’s not true.
(DIR) Post #AUBygPsjhQq5R7KE8e by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T01:07:35.759323Z
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@MellowMarigold @Aflowernamedyou @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Yeah… hon you’ve gotta let that go.Confidence IS sexy. And unlike physical looks, it will last you your entire life. Believe this.
(DIR) Post #AUBypzI5Q4T1rSkLTs by Aflowernamedyou@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T01:06:53.404457Z
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@AbolishPregnancy @MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Yeah you're right. There is a lot of toxic older women too. But I trust the own here. I trust the advice of older women in my family. I trust older lesbians and feminists. They know.
(DIR) Post #AUByvwHTWUEQGQIZG4 by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T01:10:23.816467Z
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@Aflowernamedyou @MellowMarigold @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont Can’t wait to be a wise old crone someday!!
(DIR) Post #AUC8vIuAv7nPgRjgps by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T02:42:21.229231Z
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@AbolishPregnancy @ninafromcanadaeh @LadyMont I have learnt a lot from this believe me and now it has been a major turning point in my life. I finally realise what I want in life. I realise I can not keep living this anymore. I now realise how destructive my need to be loved by men really is. I unfortunately I have deep issues with belonging and identify due to growing up without a father, pure resentment for having toxic shitty relatives who cause problems and my mother and grandmother always helping these arseholes while my own needs got ignored. My mum and grandmother kept giving money helping these arseholes by the time I went to university I had to take a student loan because there was no money left for me. I hate my relatives so much Going through all these things since I was a teenager fuelled my desire to be loved by a man so I can no longer feel unwanted and can finally belong. It would just be the 2 of us. I realise this not healthy
(DIR) Post #AUC8vJVOgjZPXt9Pqy by ninafromcanadaeh@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T02:43:28.142877Z
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@MellowMarigold @AbolishPregnancy @LadyMont Good. You have to love you first. You do not need any man to give your life meaning and purpose. that is how men have oppressed women since ever
(DIR) Post #AUCw3EeBWxBMY4fUaO by ninafromcanadaeh@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T02:44:43.032419Z
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@AbolishPregnancy @MellowMarigold @Aflowernamedyou @LadyMont real confidence is. fake con is fake eh
(DIR) Post #AUCw45fQP4fKzGejNQ by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2023-04-01T12:12:58.232518Z
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@ninafromcanadaeh @MellowMarigold @Aflowernamedyou @LadyMont True!