Post APwLPA5YWAVpaA1Xfs by ndkaldjen@spinster.xyz
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 (DIR) Post #APwLPA5YWAVpaA1Xfs by ndkaldjen@spinster.xyz
       2022-11-24T15:37:42.377888Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       Hello all, I haven’t posted it so long. Miss it here a lot! I want to tell you about this weird thing that happened to me this morning. It made me really sad. I don’t understand why males are like this. This is definitely a “micro aggression” but it did make me feel upset. Here’s a story about my father. Its thanksgiving in America today. I am making snickerdoodles this morning in my parents kitchen. My dad walks in and smiling, says “what kind of cookies are you making?” I reply, I’m making snickerdoodles for thanksgiving tonight. Why do you ask?” Conversationally. This was not said in a defensive tone or a rude tone. He immediately sours. “I was just asking. You don’t have to yell at me.” I didn’t yell at him. Why did he say this? I was making conversation. Am i not allowed to question him? He always questions me about every little thing. I go out to eat with friends. He asks who they are. Where we went. What I had to eat. He needs to catalog my every move. It’s fine to do that conversationally, but it feels more like an interrogation from him. And anything but the exact details is never enough for him. I just wanted to know why he asked me what cookies i was making. My expectation was for him to say, “the same ones as last week? Because those were tasty.” My tone was light and conversational. He turned it into something else. Into me victimizing him. Why is he not allowed to be questioned even conversationally? Why did he have to turn himself into a victim, and me into a villain? Why did he have to make me feel like a villain on thanksgiving morning? I don’t know what he wants. If I don’t answer his questions with an enthusiastic intonation and perfect detail, he’s upset. But I can’t make conversation back. I don’t know what he wants. My response to him was simply, “what? I didn’t yell. Why did you say that?” He didn’t respond so I let it drop. I don’t want to make my thanksgiving morning unpleasant even if he is hellbent on it for some reason. He’s already in a bad mood because his brother in law came over to fix the waterheater. A few moments later, my mother calls her dad to inquire about coming over to bathe my grandma. The conversation is on speakerphone as my mom is a boomer. My grandfather answers the phone call from my mother (who is the only one of their children to take care of grandma) on thanksgiving morning with “hello. What do you want?” My dad hates my mother’s family. He scoffs and makes a remark about how rude my grandfather is. My mom hangs up because grandfather is often rude and she’s fed up. My dad launched into a tirade about my grandfather. Talking about how horrible he is. My father is the same as my grandfather. Both are emotionally fragile and toxic men. Both are selfish. I hope my fellow American spinsters are having a wonderful thanksgiving. Or at least better than mine! I really need to get out of this house. Or maybe I’ll just have a little Jack Daniels in the meantime!! These men are trying my patience. I really can’t wait to get out of this house. I just wish I could take my mother with me.