Post APr9BpL0BgOSDgKAAC by fitheach@mstdn.io
(DIR) More posts by fitheach@mstdn.io
(DIR) Post #APm6Z1tMRRTrEu8e8m by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-19T21:34:25Z
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I am normally a creative and creating person, always having something on the go in my hands: knitting, stitching, drawing, writing. But currently I'm dealing with my mother (not the best of relationships, but we live barely ten mins walk away) rapidly sinking into dementia. She's refusing to admit she needs care (why should she, I'm there!) and the stress is leaching all my energy and imagination away. And I'm discovering how many of us have parents like this now. It's appalling.
(DIR) Post #APm6Z5wLOIF9nJZ5LU by fitheach@mstdn.io
2022-11-19T22:04:57Z
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@Freyalyn I can empathise. My mother had Alzheimer's. It might help if your mother would talk to someone else about the issue, rather than you. If you have a strained relationship she is less likely to listen to what you say.
(DIR) Post #APm6Z6sTu8kQhclVxo by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-19T21:36:48Z
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It's difficult to get support too, though I'm slowly finding my way. And I have a hugely supportive and loving husband who is an utter rock.Good night, all - may we all sleep well and safely.
(DIR) Post #APn2GBusk0rwAYZUqe by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-20T08:51:24Z
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@fitheach That's exactly it - I'm only her daughter, what do I know about anything. But I think now we're past the point of her being able to remember much from anyone for more than a few minutes.
(DIR) Post #APniIoyIhb21x06huK by fitheach@mstdn.io
2022-11-20T16:41:39Z
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@Freyalyn Does she live on her own?
(DIR) Post #APnzBhocbmtQwxlyfg by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-20T19:43:12Z
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@fitheach Yes, and refuses any care or help, because she has me and she also thinks she's nothing wrong with her. But at this rate of deterioration (I diarise it all) she'll be in a home soon.
(DIR) Post #APqHuArq6h2cD3NgjQ by fitheach@mstdn.io
2022-11-21T22:30:40Z
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@Freyalyn I'm sorry to hear that. It doesn't sound like reasoning would be of any benefit. Does she still socialise, have friends?
(DIR) Post #APqxTRr52ERx9UxrbE by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-22T06:16:30Z
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@fitheach Yes, she has a few friends (that I know of, she's always kept parts of her life v separate), but that number's eroding now.
(DIR) Post #APr9BpL0BgOSDgKAAC by fitheach@mstdn.io
2022-11-22T08:27:51Z
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@Freyalyn Do you know any of her friends well-enough that you could talk to them about your mother's condition. It might be enlightening.
(DIR) Post #APrNoF5AJhasQZ82iW by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-22T11:11:35Z
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@fitheach I've spoken to a couple, but they've made it v clear to me that they are mum's friends ans she's asked them not to talk to me. Sadly, Mum is v disappointed in how I've turned out and tells her friends how useless and poor we are.
(DIR) Post #APrcQWMfuN7WOGSvUu by fitheach@mstdn.io
2022-11-22T13:55:24Z
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@Freyalyn The only other thing I can suggest is talking to one of the dementia charities. They might be able to recommend a course of action. I found Alzheimer's Scotland helpful. There are other similar bodies.
(DIR) Post #APru9E2oZGwhp54vy4 by Freyalyn@mastodon.scot
2022-11-22T17:04:41Z
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@fitheach I've been in touch with them and their publications have been useful. I'm going to have a chat with her doctor in the next few days, and we've another appointment at the memory clinic in a month, so things are slowly happening.