Post APXq1IWjleljVU0k6K by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #APXW3JPPShQhjnGaum by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2022-11-12T21:08:14.014939Z
4 likes, 0 repeats
One of my friends trooned out. I think I have posted previously on here that this might happen, but now that it actually has its bothering me more than I knew it would. He didn't tell me, I found out because he changed his pronouns on social media. He's the only guy I know that has a sexual abuse history going back to when he was 4 years old. He's a really sweet person that's been through a lot. He's always been there for me when I'm going through tough times and he's genuinely fun to hang out with. He's gay, and very effeminate. He's gotten bullied because of that and his parents don't accept him. He's recently developed a substance abuse problem so I told him he needed to start seeing a therapist again. The problem is, apparently he purposely looked for one that's "lgbt" friendly, she affirmed him, and after 2 sessions he was convinced. Its no coincidence that just before this he had a big fight with his parents and spiraled into substance abuse and that he's finally moving out of their place and into his own apartment. I thought they were just homophobic but now I think they probably caught him crossdressing. Its all so gross and uncomfortable, that instead of dealing with his ptsd, trauma, self-hate, and substance abuse issues, he's going to chalk all his problems up to people not accepting his gender identity and this new therapist will probably encourage him. He wasn't doing too bad just half a year ago. The downwards spiral into troonage happened pretty fast. I wanted to be there for him but now if I go home to visit my parents I don't even know if I want to tell him that I'm in town... I don't even know what I would say to him. He knows what I think about gender ideology but I guess my voice got drowned out by his affirming coworkers (that also have substance abuse issues), the internet, and his new therapist. I feel like there's nothing I can do really, I'm really torn because we've been friends for years. I'm never going to call him "she" and if he's crossdressing in public I don't want to be within 500 miles of him. That said, its crazy to have to throw what was a great friendship away because his mental issues have culminated into this. I don't really believe there's anything I could say to him that would help him reach self awareness but if anyone has ideas, I'm open to suggestions. I figure he either hasn't told his therapist about his past traumas and the homophobia he's been through, or she's just so used to making money off of affirming troons that she felt that there's no reason to explore how his issues may have lead him to believe this. He needs real help from someone that will focus on the substance abuse and past traumas and that's what I told him to look for in a therapist. If he had listened to me instead of seeking out some gender affirming freak looking to make money and ruin gay people's lives, he might've recovered, found a boyfriend, and lived a normal life.
(DIR) Post #APXXgsmrxYlKi3fkDw by AnneBevan@spinster.xyz
2022-11-12T21:21:14.246247Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@lezpaulguitars That is heartbreaking. He is very unlikely to find happiness in transing. Would you have any idea if he likely to find sexual success with gay men?
(DIR) Post #APXpxVJUHpXO0L0LK4 by FranGershwing@spinster.xyz
2022-11-12T21:27:35.201026Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lezpaulguitars What a sad story, this is something that may traumatize us forever, when we loose a friend or somebody we love to the chaos of the world. I hope you can continue to help your friend now and possibly he will detrans at some point in the future. If we lived in a world without money or with less materialistic lure and patriarchal grooming perhaps this story could have evolved differently.
(DIR) Post #APXpxVrsDz2jiz5nv6 by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2022-11-12T23:35:49.116292Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@FranGershwing I think the thing that frustrates me the most is that he really needed therapy, but instead of helping him, his therapist affirmed a messed up fantasy that he was born in the wrong body. I doubt she'll do a good job helping him with all of his real issues because they'll both probably continue to focus on this. "Gender affirming" therapists are actively ruining so many people's lives. Telling someone that they're something they're not, something their mental illness led them to believe they are, should be considered an illegal practice that endangers lives. Therapists that do this should have their license revoked. Its like telling a schizophrenic person that the voices they hear are real and they should do what they say.
(DIR) Post #APXq1IWjleljVU0k6K by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2022-11-12T23:31:21.322291Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@AnneBevan If he didn't troon out and he actually got treated for his mental health issues I'm sure he could've found a boyfriend and had a healthy relationship eventually. He's never even been in a real relationship before, and he's ruining his chances by transing.