Post AIss9USfUqksMFxcMy by Cryol@outerheaven.club
 (DIR) More posts by Cryol@outerheaven.club
 (DIR) Post #AIss9USfUqksMFxcMy by Cryol@outerheaven.club
       2022-04-11T04:39:20.242642Z
       
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       i'm a completely different person than who i was back then. but i'm not trying to say that change or growth is a bad thing. my friend told me that i've went through a whole new philosophical change. what they were referring to was my lack of desire to learn or be curious about the world around me. the passion i had once had for intellectual stimulation is gone. part of me wishes i had it back, and that same part of me still yearns for new information and topics to learn about. but as of now, it lies buried deep under many layers of self-pity.
       
 (DIR) Post #AIss9V27N36y8CXvcm by Cryol@outerheaven.club
       2022-04-11T09:22:45.020307Z
       
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       i feel like i should elaborate on this. what i mean is that my "lack of passion" is more of a flat out rejection of my prior curiousity. i feel annoyed when i have to learn or think critically. i find it genuinely aggravating. while before i would feel solemn when thinking about my previous interests, i now feel contempt and annoyance when i think about them. it makes me... angry? i hate thinking about it. something about those topics piss me off so much.
       
 (DIR) Post #AIss9ZinwHdKfkY4iO by Cryol@outerheaven.club
       2022-04-11T09:25:04.725931Z
       
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       this is how i know that i'll be miserable forever. these prior passions were once my everything. i don't have anything else i enjoy(ed). all i do now is mindlessly partake in mass media consumption in an attempt to give myself a non-invasive lobotomy. god i hate thinking so fucking much.