Post AHHZYnsthbEIbFssGe by CaptainVhdVhd@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by CaptainVhdVhd@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #AHD7RVsPFPZlkUU9A0 by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:03:06.643251Z
11 likes, 2 repeats
Today I visited my favorite local bike shop. I was greeted at the door by a new employee. "Hi, my name is _____, and I go by they/them pronouns.""Hi _____, I'm Nina, and I'll call you 'you' if that's ok.""Sure, as long as we're talking directly to each other like this."I was friendly, he was friendly, we discussed my bike a bit, and it was clear I couldn't upgrade to a wider gravel tire due to rear triangle clearance issues. I had planned to order some other stuff from the shop owner, who is an old family friend and has always given me good prices, but thanks to the pronoun-announcing employee I decided it would be easier to just find it online. In fact it would be easier to avoid that shop as much as possible. It made me sad.As I rode home, I thought about possible responses to being greeted out of the blue with "Hi, my name is _____, and I go by they/them pronouns.""Hi, my name is Nina, and I don't force my religious beliefs on strangers.""Hi, my name is Nina, and I don't try to control how other people think and speak about me.""Hi, my name is Nina, have you met our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"Sadly, the best response is to avoid that place, because any resistance would make me a target of the vicious bullying this town has dished out before. It makes me sad though.
(DIR) Post #AHD7deBu9zzx0jOKxM by Vasta218@poa.st
2022-03-08T18:05:18.836616Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Solidarité ✊
(DIR) Post #AHD86iV1Dm0KlqC2vg by mittimithai@neenster.org
2022-03-08T18:10:34.358477Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
I'm sad just hearing this story. uuugghhhhhh
(DIR) Post #AHD8D4kvNuprXGfJQG by TheWitchBitch@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:10:09.967623Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley this is so stupid. Someone you're directly talking to it doesn't even need to know your stupid pronoun gender fantasy.
(DIR) Post #AHD8WEkeRgVQ2Rfrvs by RockTheBoat@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:14:59.341896Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Wow. The implication is that he feels like he has a right to control your speech when you are talking about him to someone else, and he isn’t in the room? I’d be tempted to follow up with questioning him on this point. “So I need to use they/them when I talk about you to other people? Why do you feel like you have the right to control what I say? How will you even know what is said when you aren’t even there?”
(DIR) Post #AHD8fej5F2FpChQrZI by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:16:53.572576Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@RockTheBoat Yep, a very reasonable response. In the town that canceled and circulated vicious lies about me because I said women don't have penises. The threat is constant here. I intend to move once my Momz is done living at home and goes to the assisted living place of her choice.
(DIR) Post #AHD8hMaDfS9BVu6HT6 by Unabart@dobbs.town
2022-03-08T18:16:23Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Perhaps letting your owner friend know this is unprofessional will give them a chance to make corrective action without any kind of punitive/retaliatory sort of actions being necessary? I respect what ppl wish to go as these days, but really would prefer that not be a part of the salutations.
(DIR) Post #AHD8hRyrbFpaFmfX4i by DoctorDee@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:16:52.116327Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley I expect even non-feminists and non-principled people find this whole thing uncomfortable enough to avoid it whenever possible. Not good for business.
(DIR) Post #AHD8t7IiJSIraiW5tQ by Terfest__Shadow@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:19:09.244995Z
3 likes, 3 repeats
@ninapaley "Hi, I don't pretend not to know what men are when they're right fucking in front of me"
(DIR) Post #AHD9SoR3vmuJVSRVeC by Vasta218@poa.st
2022-03-08T18:25:46.762151Z
3 likes, 1 repeats
@ninapaley @RockTheBoat I think you did good just rolling with it.In school a Chinese acquaintance used all the new lingo, I asked him after "You don't really believe in all that, do you?" he said "No, no, not at all...but I say it as it's simply the code, a code you have to learn and say to get ahead here."I'd never thought of it so materially like that before! Haha!
(DIR) Post #AHDA4Ye55PhxXSWwoS by WashedOutGundamPilot@poa.st
2022-03-08T18:32:35.909695Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Vasta218 @ninapaley @RockTheBoat I think that's some kind of truism, like"If you hope to live in peace, you must cultivate a [partition] within yourself, a subversive spirit, or else you will spend your whole life at war"
(DIR) Post #AHDAf2EQYxEDivvOs4 by GalacticTurtle@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T18:30:37.778338Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Ugh. There is someone I know that introduces herself as "Molly she/her." Like ok hello Molly she/her nice to meet you. :P
(DIR) Post #AHDDrdizI4qJLLvATg by zudlig@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T19:13:21.868130Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
> it was clear I couldn't upgrade to a wider gravel tire due to rear triangle clearance issues.Yeah, I noticed your tires having less tread than I would've expected for the terrain you were apparently riding in the other day. It makes a pretty big difference in mud. Mud is what we will have a lot of here I expect, once this last 3 feet of snow melts. Don't mind me, I'm just thinking about bicycling too early in the year for once. It's what I normally only do with skiing.
(DIR) Post #AHDGnxV07yIHNQJc48 by Antiquixotic@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T19:48:02.509941Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley I wish I had the guts to say, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m atheist.”
(DIR) Post #AHDHCtLugJd9kvxBXU by Eleutheromaniac@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T19:52:18.612567Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Antiquixotic @ninapaley I’d literally have turned around and walked out without saying a word.You don’t have to speak to make a statement.
(DIR) Post #AHDKYkApmuzxWQsnw0 by Jennifer_Lee@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T20:11:18.778563Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Since this creep likely announces his pronouns to everyone, wait a week or too, then send an anonymous email to the shop letting them know they lost your business over coercive language. If enough people complain, maybe he'll get canned. I found his response to be even more obnoxious than his original announcement. ""Sure, as long as we're talking directly to each other like this" implies it's NOT OK for you to use correct pronouns when/if you are talking about him to someone else. Not ok how? Like he'll ruin your fucking LIFE?! Yeah, he would. It's time for people to slap back. Maybe send several emails from different accounts, worded differently enough to be sure it looks like they're send from different people. It's what he would probably do, right? Take that prick down a notch!
(DIR) Post #AHDKdlFXDQY6J4TRwG by RevWhatsblem@dobbs.town
2022-03-08T20:00:07Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
@ninapaleyThis use of plural pronouns to indicate individuals is shitty-corrosive of the language itself, and should be roundly rejected for that reason alone.Me, I identify as an attack helicoper; my pronouns are 'CF-50342' and 'Charlie Foxtrot Five Oh Three Four Two.'
(DIR) Post #AHDKe72sBBUbuAieG0 by RevWhatsblem@dobbs.town
2022-03-08T19:56:22Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
@ninapaley @RockTheBoatWait, wait, hol' up. . . women don't have penises?I thought everyone had a penis.
(DIR) Post #AHDKnAW0eD8TGzfL3g by wattdefalk@dobbs.town
2022-03-08T19:21:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley I've mentioned around here before that I'm Queer, with a lifelong proven minimal urge to shove Mister Stick into people, and am stimulated more by Art than by bodies. (Yet I can keep it in my pants in galleries theatres and concert halls.)I suspect we're all potentially pansexual, welcome all nonstandard sexuality, & regard using "they" as a singular pronoun yet more evidence we're losing our minds. Just invent a new one damnit.
(DIR) Post #AHDKnB42bgMEyXaW6S by wattdefalk@dobbs.town
2022-03-08T19:33:12Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley PS I meant invent a new pronoun. If you want to invent a new mind, of course all you have to do is stare at "Bob" for a spell.
(DIR) Post #AHDZsu2CKnNhCzujEO by Antiquixotic@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T23:21:49.488791Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley On further thought, when he said “Sure, as long as we're talking directly to each other like this," you should have said, “Oh, do you want me to talk about you when I leave?”
(DIR) Post #AHDZvTlOSx0abDHZFg by Nicotiana@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T22:59:57.878469Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Eleutheromaniac @Antiquixotic @ninapaley Something like,"Thank you, but your belief system has no relevance to me trying to fix my bicycle."
(DIR) Post #AHDZvUGEcHg88riCK8 by Eleutheromaniac@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T23:08:37.206864Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Nicotiana @Antiquixotic @ninapaley You’re right- what’s actually interesting about this is the function behind the two pieces of information.My name is …. helps you as the customer attract the attention of a specific member of staff to help you do whatever you came to the shop to do. My pronouns are … has no value to you as a customer. It doesn’t help you achieve your task or goal on any level.
(DIR) Post #AHDfO1w7VLTmSpjW76 by Nicotiana@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T22:57:02.389543Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Vasta218 @RockTheBoat @ninapaley That sounds like forced speech. And forced speech that leads inevitably to forced opinions.Thanks for your post, Vasta - it's interesting.
(DIR) Post #AHDfXDxEBx38LKdRya by Nicotiana@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T23:51:55.786535Z
4 likes, 0 repeats
@Eleutheromaniac @Antiquixotic @ninapaley Yes. In fact, I find it quite insulting.For example, I turn up at a yarn shop, (I enjoy knitting), looking for a suitable yarn for knitting socks.The person behind the counter greets me with, "Hello, my name is..... How may I help you?" I respond cheerfully and explain that I'm looking for sock yarn. There's a decent possibility that they will point me in the right direction, answer any questions, and that I will spend money, right now, if offered suitable yarn.But if the shop person goes into "And I go by they/them pronouns" then I am out of there and spending my money somewhere else, because this person is now foisting their religion on me. No.They're telling me that entering their shop means I must follow their dictats about how I perceive them (and possibly contrary to how I actually perceive them) and how I should talk about them even when they're not present! What?!!Or, perhaps, they know they are a man but wish to be/identify as a woman/non-binary/otherkind, and they are telling me that I must refer to them as a woman, even though himself is aware that he appears to be, and indeed is, a man, and that I perceive him to be a man, but must bow to his "they/them pronouns"? But I'm only trying to buy sock yarn, for goddesses' sakes!!! What has all this got to do with me simply wanting to go into a shop to purchase suitable yarn to knit socks?Oh, ffs! Men's hubris, eh!
(DIR) Post #AHDfZUs8GLklOMKs6q by Peony20@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T23:04:15.108850Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley I'd respond differently depending on the employee's age - young people are far more likely to have been groomed into this and if we treat them kindly like you did, without giving into the pronoun game, that is a battle for normalcy and young people need guidance in this crazy gender time. Older adults, fuck them...they're idiots or virtue signalers.
(DIR) Post #AHDfg57UPKSpY8etgu by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T00:26:43.957218Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Peony20 He was young. And this is a college town with a university that teaches idiots to behave like him. So he has no doubt been taught this is ok.
(DIR) Post #AHDfmx0SyFy4PieIt6 by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T00:27:58.927742Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Antiquixotic That would have been good, but I was not remotely prepared for this crap at my formerly favorite bike shop.
(DIR) Post #AHDiineg64wm7CAbmy by Nicotiana@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T00:39:32.249561Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley @Antiquixotic It's intrusive. A shop assistant should be helping you with what you seek as a customer. You're certainly not there to be used to validate anyone's solipsistic, egocentric identity. Bollocks to that.
(DIR) Post #AHEOpzMx8fLmY0zQgK by FeartnTired@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T08:33:42.838605Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Nicotiana @Eleutheromaniac @Antiquixotic @ninapaley I find the female women, who look like female women, announcing the she/her even more infuriating than a man saying so. He's clearly instructing you to ignore your eyes. What is she doing? Thinks she's being kind and normalising pronouns as an ally probably. what she's doing is saying that her belief in Gender Identity means that no-one can trust their eyes.And no, I'd not buy any wool in such a case either.
(DIR) Post #AHEOpzs9GgIu6laLJ2 by You_cat_to_be_kitten_me@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T08:49:24.983543Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@FeartnTired @Nicotiana @Antiquixotic @Eleutheromaniac @ninapaley Nah I disagree, I’d rather be around the woman who isn’t thinking critically and truing to be “kind” than some male who is likely going to bully me and might decide to have a go because I don’t immediately parrot my pronouns back. Who knows, she might breathe a sigh of relief at not having to remember pronouns for the nth time that day.
(DIR) Post #AHEgnv8jgsbA1hVH0a by angryandignored@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T09:01:28.580633Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley If you know the owner, maybe try talking privately one on one with him? Explain that this sort of this is a way to lose business. I vote this one btw: "Hi, my name is Nina, and I don't force my religious beliefs on strangers."At least you weren't in a group therapy session for sexual abuse.
(DIR) Post #AHEgsG0u1bARvIuJe4 by angryandignored@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T09:05:08.961058Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Eleutheromaniac @Nicotiana @Antiquixotic @ninapaley It does if you are a gender missionary and your goal is to exhaust people and control their speech.
(DIR) Post #AHEuZwHi2K94sfvaeu by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T14:48:24.819811Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Oh my. I found your post last night after you mentioned this here, and I hate to tell you, Nina…you DISAPPOINTED and DISMAYED a lot of sensitive FANS 😔
(DIR) Post #AHEuaR7rMzgcX6Yf6u by Rogue_Koala@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T14:45:00.019918Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley You missed "Hi my name is Nina and I go by All hail the darkest Sith Lord Darth Nina Paley, scourge of tatooine, destroyer of rebels, owner of the boob shaped death star and who's good in bed."Imagine they having to introduce you to their manager.
(DIR) Post #AHEud88gQ0ZcW1EB4y by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T14:48:59.960164Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@mittimithai @ninapaley I feel the last part: uuugghhhhhhh
(DIR) Post #AHEukzMKwfrVbOMSTQ by jmakesart@spinster.xyz
2022-03-08T20:04:18.562701Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@GalacticTurtle @ninapaley I have a friend who just changed her Zoom name to a First name-Pronouns-Last name format. I can't help but wonder the reason. Like, are people treating pronouns as nicknames now? Or does she just want to make sure the pronouns are visible at all times?🙄
(DIR) Post #AHEvnkX8cj92RZIHEO by kaosktrl@poa.st
2022-03-09T15:02:07.078576Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley Hi Im Blob Racist /Anti-semite
(DIR) Post #AHEvvCWOxl4HH4VDE0 by hearthmoon@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T14:58:58.014483Z
4 likes, 1 repeats
@ninapaley I'm so fed up, I feel like cutting to the chase and responding to this pronoun virtue signaling by remarking, "Castrating children is wrong." That's where it's led to and that's what they're implicitly supporting. Make them make it explicit. Give them cognitive dissonance.
(DIR) Post #AHF1KMZlDarpT1tJRo by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T16:04:02.181054Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara I thought they all knew I was a TERF already! But some hadn't yet gotten the memo that I am full of HATE.
(DIR) Post #AHF3fc01GjU9IAQw5I by EmmaFaber@spinster.xyz
2022-03-09T16:30:17.165560Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley You should have asked him if he was aware there were no intelligence on the Y chromosome and is why males are more brawn than brain?
(DIR) Post #AHFj1GBR9lYA7gDP7I by w9cma@neenster.org
2022-03-10T00:07:04.643338Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Sometimes you do have to play the game to remain in a society. But this one is utterly baffling to me, or would be without Nina and Corinna to help explain it in the Heterodorx podcast. I'm happy I'm not in the middle of it.And I hope the shop isn't located on a street that may rhyme with "with", because it's the one most conveniently located for me.
(DIR) Post #AHHGxjUlpDUZTOhwie by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:08:38.818395Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@RockTheBoat @ninapaley Non-binary and other gender identities don't even have obvious objective signifiers like female/male do. When we can't look at someone and say "yep, they're (insert gender)," how can they possibly expect us to mentally keep track of who is what?
(DIR) Post #AHHH2Eh9lcB1ObeHGC by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:09:28.222963Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley @RockTheBoat These same people will call themselves better than the stereotypical judgmental small-town types. Amazing.
(DIR) Post #AHHH8Jhu2rmSg5thGS by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:10:34.044656Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat @ninapaley We must overturn the chess board.
(DIR) Post #AHHL0Zyc4U5cdYHNOS by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:53:59.261803Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@AbolishPregnancy @RockTheBoat Well you just have to, otherwise they'll kill themselves and you'll be a MURDERER. If you don't use their pronouns you're a WANNABE MURDERER.
(DIR) Post #AHHL4LfDEDbrP90Bdo by ninapaley@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:54:39.981607Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@AbolishPregnancy @w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat It's too weighted down with pigeon shit.
(DIR) Post #AHHSgxKzjwVKYWxzuK by judgedread@freespeechextremist.com
2022-03-10T20:20:05.490690Z
5 likes, 1 repeats
@ninapaley The pronoun is a killing word.module.png
(DIR) Post #AHHX7WifDJCpdVxlgW by PorkCow@freespeechextremist.com
2022-03-10T21:09:42.817792Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@RevWhatsblem @ninapaley I much prefer this to calling you multiple people. Not even once with this demonic "they/we" crap.
(DIR) Post #AHHZUlv34EP9LWy3ua by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:36:19.124348Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley @w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat Shoot the pigeon?Metaphorically of course.
(DIR) Post #AHHZYnsthbEIbFssGe by CaptainVhdVhd@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T18:52:37.969191Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@AbolishPregnancy @RockTheBoat @ninapaley That would be a tough one. It's kind of a social faux pa to start talking about ideology to strangers, so I usually give a look to show that that was "too much information", to set a soft boundary. With masks, I'll also give a little "Oooohkay??" or "You said your name was (name)?" and then move on to the relevant task/information because that wasn't relevant to the interaction.I've also had not bad responses to making light jokes like "You don't do small talk/ pleasantries, huh?" or "Whoa, at least buy me a drink first! That's kind of intimate." But the key point is to immediately move on.
(DIR) Post #AHHZeln0P8Mdq7yOS8 by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:38:07.513411Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@CaptainVhdVhd @RockTheBoat @ninapaley It's becoming less of a social faux pas and more of an obligation as a privileged group to loudly dismantle your privilege at every possible opportunity.
(DIR) Post #AHHZuF3TsSMcww3am8 by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:40:54.911156Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninapaley @RockTheBoat Exactly.... they intentionally make it difficult/impossible and then threaten suicide when someone correctly genders them.Isn't there an obligation to notify the police and have a suicidal person taken into custody for their own welfare? I'd say we'd all be justified in calling trans' bluff and locking them all up. We'll see how long the validation tantrums last.
(DIR) Post #AHHagbtaGDOtghUXDM by TDovelle@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:48:36.415865Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@AbolishPregnancy @ninapaley @w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat Please don't.
(DIR) Post #AHHaiccuVtKuXBeU52 by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:50:01.418288Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@TDovelle @ninapaley @w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat I promise not to harm any actual pigeons.
(DIR) Post #AHHbeHjaLfsUX9GnJo by TDovelle@spinster.xyz
2022-03-10T21:54:32.082653Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@AbolishPregnancy @ninapaley @w9cma @Vasta218 @RockTheBoat Thank you 🕊️