Post AHFRelPDD02v4kLTpw by phryk@mastodon.social
(DIR) More posts by phryk@mastodon.social
(DIR) Post #AH7Pn9VePX7vB8KboG by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-05T22:50:30Z
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https://nitter.eu/erikaheidewald/status/1368988021652004865Read this thread @freedcreative posted a couple days back and now I'm even more depressed…It took me a while for the whole thing to click (apparently I'm allistic ND?), but immediately made complete sense when it did.Doesn't feel liberating in any way tho, if anything it just made me even more misanthropic.
(DIR) Post #AH7PnBL5blroqxPCcq by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-05T22:54:41Z
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If I apply that knowledge, the only conclusion I can get to is that the chance of me ever getting out of chronic suicidality is even slimmer than I previously thought – and I've already put it at like 20% tops…I'm ready for global thermonuclear war now. Push button pls.
(DIR) Post #AH7QCvVZ5eYtHca6XA by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T00:05:07.382620Z
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@phryk @freedcreative oh. oh wow that is...oh.
(DIR) Post #AH7TAvhjgmjPAw0uKe by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T00:38:20.630249Z
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@phryk @freedcreative finished reading.I'm no stranger to the "THESE FUCKING NEUROTYPICALS ARE A BUCH OF GLORIFIED FUCKING CHIMPANZEES" line of thought, but, wow,,,that was a fucking TRIP
(DIR) Post #AH7TOddBgM9FAyQHFg by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T00:40:51.722085Z
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@freedcreative @phryk HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHY THAT "FREE SOFTWARE IS BAD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE MONEY OFF IT" MAKES SENSE TO PEOPLE.
(DIR) Post #AH7TVhq6QyjOFrpmC0 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T00:42:08.004032Z
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@freedcreative @phryk a LOT of shit is making sense now...
(DIR) Post #AH7V25uiYrZw8p05qa by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T00:46:47Z
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@dhfir Neurotypicals being glorified chimpanzees isn't the point the author is trying to make, but as somebody who can think in both ways it kinda feels like it…?In the thread, the author says that to allistic NDs it sounds mean and limiting and that's exactly the case for me – and that's the reason I've refused to acknowledge it for so long.It feels a lot like saying neurotypicals are basically enslaved by their lizard brain.@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7V26PugsX3hZb0TI by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T00:59:09.387610Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I already had some thought along these lines.like, Judge rotenberg educational center.the Idea that someone would elevate being "normal" to such a high status that it justified the torture of children, just.the absolute fucking gall.it enrages me.I actually do have an autism diagnosis?so now I'm wondering like, is that accurate, or do I actually fit in among allistic NDs?It would make sense if I did.I seem to have the whole like, ability to recognize hierarchy thing.I took "grey" as a name, In part due to a perpetual state of confusion on my part.guess I'm continuing the trend.
(DIR) Post #AH7V27awJMwjM3lKIS by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T00:47:33Z
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@dhfir I knew that a LOT of people were shitheels like this, who will always end up prioritizing themselves and not accept any narratives counter to what benefits them but I couldn't acknowledge that that's *normal* – not really.But fuck me if that doesn't explain like 95% of all social issues I've ever encountered…@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7V29Khqh9KkIBOGu by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T00:56:31Z
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@dhfir Suddenly, I'm not at all surprised anymore that honest communication and trying to approach people in an earnest attempt to understand the positions they bring forth almost never helped me solve anything…I could've saved years if not decades of my life if I'd known that…@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7VLovNR9n7F1iOAa by lustlion@succubi.services
2022-03-06T01:02:12.355Z
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@dhfir@expired.mentality.rip @phryk@mastodon.social @freedcreative@merveilles.town quick question ;w;what does allistic ND refers to?
(DIR) Post #AH7VLpOnflKKiHTt20 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:02:44.490967Z
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@lustlion @phryk @freedcreative OP linked the thread.
(DIR) Post #AH7VY9zOwaYm32Tu9Q by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:04:59.153162Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I haven't been around long enough to try much.spent a lot of time thinking about like, maybe attempting to do the explain and then they magically understand.Even then, I knew it was just a fantasy.But then I didn't Really understand.
(DIR) Post #AH7ViqDSnh9nuM9Tyi by lustlion@succubi.services
2022-03-06T01:03:06.375Z
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@dhfir@expired.mentality.rip @phryk@mastodon.social @freedcreative@merveilles.town im reading the thread but i think i missed the definition?
(DIR) Post #AH7ViqkQp7WpYbZoMi by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T01:05:21Z
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@lustlion non-autistic neurodiverse. @dhfir @freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7VirCn7gDIyYqSZM by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:06:53.604614Z
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@phryk @lustlion @freedcreative OH YEAH.I'm so used to allistic meaning not-autistic I didn't even realize that might be what needed explaining.
(DIR) Post #AH7XVeNxfvaXMLts8W by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T01:13:28Z
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@dhfir Honestly, I kinda-sorta envy strongly autistic people for the ability to basically not see these bullshit status games.On the other hand, holy shit it has to be so fucking confusing when people constantly get mad at you for saying things that are objectively true.@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7XVetrlJ6oxIpLrk by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:26:56.331823Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I remember when I was small, my dad got out this glas of water.Now this glas was at like, one-third water, two thirds air.so he asks me if it's half full of half empty.now, this glass has less than half water, so half full is right out.it is, howerver, more than half air(empty) and I decided, yeah, that works.It was at that point dad hit me.He yelled that I was supposed to say it was half empty, and that I should say it was half empty.This did not put any more water in the glass.this repeated.and repeated.and repeated.looking back, dad was absolutely being a neurotypical there.I rationalized this as him being stupid, 'cuz violence clearly wasn't working, and he kept doing it.I rationalize a lot of things like that.
(DIR) Post #AH7XVgByxRC6xmJKk4 by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T01:14:05Z
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@dhfir Autistic behavior patterns like that at most give me mild annoyance, but hooo boy do I absolutely prefer people I can actually solve problems through communication with, where both parties integrate the information from each other and come to a combined, better understanding…To me, if there's one thing that justifies humans' arrogance of separating themselves from animals it would be this. This just not being the norm is a bit of a shock for me.@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7Y0PxhLsHRbQHq64 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:32:30.028678Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I'm told there are autistic people that straight up don't care about interacting with people, to whom other people may as well be moving trees that make noise.I envy THAT.No confusion.The noisy tree makes noises.It does that.Of course it does.
(DIR) Post #AH7YFypvyESK6n4lTE by lustlion@succubi.services
2022-03-06T01:33:52.443Z
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@dhfir@expired.mentality.rip @phryk@mastodon.social @freedcreative@merveilles.town that would be so peaceful
(DIR) Post #AH7YFzHwI6rDVeB87c by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T01:35:18.345748Z
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@lustlion @phryk @freedcreative I KNOW.They'd probably stick you in some kinda padded room, and it'd be boring as fuck, but the rest of it...
(DIR) Post #AH7cJWCUmRmMGoZUGW by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T01:37:01Z
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@dhfir I still think outright physically violent abusive behavior has it's own reproduction mechanism and isn't inherently neurotypical, but yeah the repetition part definitely fits.I think this is also where the original authors usage of the term "neurodivergent" falls apart a bit, because being a violent abuser is also technically neurodivergent…I decided to break the cycle of abuse, but living through it definitely contributed to my own neurodivergence, too.@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7cJWjomYQxwAA6Cm by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-06T01:38:57Z
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@dhfir I think we need a better term for this on the ND side. :F@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AH7cJX8zGyZDCDwCR6 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T02:20:46.221363Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I remember the thread said NDs exist to change the structure.maybe the abuse/trauma functioned as an indicator that "hey this structure needs changing" and flipped some switches.
(DIR) Post #AH7sbAZFY4cHeieYVs by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-06T05:10:13Z
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@phrykI think neurodivergent works, but it's relative so it also needs to be used in conjunction with a context.For example, this scenario: An ADHD conference put together by and for ADHD people, most attendees are ADHD, but some non-ADHD people attend too.In this context, the ADHD people are neurotypical and the non-ADHD people are neurodivergent. It doesn't matter whether they are autistic @ljwrites @dhfir - 1/4
(DIR) Post #AH7sbB8hQGyNQfErlg by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-06T05:10:14Z
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or whatever the neurotype commonly called "typical" is. They're diverging from the majority of the group.By the same token neurodiversity means a diversity of neurotypes. A group of 100% autistic people isn't neurodiverse, even though its members diverge from society at large.But another aspect to it, that came up when I was chatting with @ljwrites about this, is there also seems to be a dominant / @phryk @dhfir - 2/4
(DIR) Post #AH7sbBb3ipeqqcVVyK by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-06T05:10:16Z
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domineering neurotype that makes itself seem the "default" when it almost certainly is not.The white cishet able-bodied rich dude of neurotypes. Actually in the minority, but convinces people otherwise.There has to be dozens more patterns in brain construction we could identify and constructively describe as neurotypes, not just those cast as deficits or disorders on account of being squeaky wheels.If we @phryk @ljwrites @dhfir - 3/4
(DIR) Post #AH7sbC342i3kFTbsci by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-06T05:10:17Z
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had these identifiers and this vocabulary, I suspect we'd see a dominant/domineering neurotype that holds a lot of power but is actually in the minority.@dhfir @phryk @ljwrites - 4/4
(DIR) Post #AH7sbCTeRrKJZw3744 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-06T05:23:12.310643Z
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@freedcreative @phryk @ljwrites I hold similar suspicions.I hear psychopaths are common in places of power.
(DIR) Post #AHCouDIrU24jPhpbwe by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:35:24.548900Z
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@phryk @freedcreative looking back on this, I'm reminded of discussions of paperclip maximizers, aka a hypothetical hyperintelligent AI that gets set to maximize production of paperclips and ends up devouring the world.
(DIR) Post #AHCpUGVD4AwzlDnWzI by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:41:56.807606Z
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@phryk @freedcreative like, I've heard some claim that the hypothetical AI is "stupid" and that such an AI, if it were truly hyperintelligent, would find other things to do.which fits right in with "neurotypes do not make sense to each other"hell, I think my familiarity with the paperclip optimizer/resulting belief that such core axioms cannot be stupid, sort of gave me a precedent to the claim given here?
(DIR) Post #AHCphDR3mRlA0t23VI by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:44:16.865748Z
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@freedcreative @phryk beyond that, I've heard of wall street's "greed is good"I don't think I understood that before.not properly.
(DIR) Post #AHCplaZFiYKuulwvOi by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-08T14:44:10Z
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@dhfir With humans it's a bit different tho. A hypothetical AI could survive turning most of the planet into paperclips. Humans can't, yet they are ending up basically doing the same thing…@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHCplb59nvrCVisP7w by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:45:04.704544Z
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@phryk @freedcreative such an AI would turn its own hardware into paperclips when it runs out of other materials.
(DIR) Post #AHCqG28bmCq96s0IzI by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:50:33.986383Z
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@freedcreative @phryk then there's the Idea of "cis by default", that is to say, people that don't have any gender, assume everyone else is like them, and assume that "gender" is nothing more than physical sex, thus concluding that everyone that claims otherwise is making shit up.
(DIR) Post #AHCqMyfn3asgOIpsPI by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-08T14:47:11Z
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@dhfir Yes, but that might only happen after billions of years of turning the whole universe into paperclips…@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHCqMzFauTWMBLaTDM by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:51:49.666846Z
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@phryk @freedcreative and if we get to space, it might take us billions of years to consume all the asteroids, but we totally would.
(DIR) Post #AHCqVEzKHWjHJ9uhwO by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:53:19.283846Z
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@freedcreative @phryk and then, the karen, that glorious internet meme of bullshit.I think I understand what's going on in there now.
(DIR) Post #AHCqk2ks2wcriAD7rM by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-08T14:51:37Z
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@dhfir Oh goddess, yes – even most self-proclaimed leftists and feminists pull that shit… :F@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHCqk3CAPSSb4oyvPE by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:55:59.428790Z
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@phryk @freedcreative I remember when I first found out what feminism was, I thought, "sounds like egalitarianism for women who aren't willing to give up being racist"and it turned put that I was way off about some feminists but spot-on about others.
(DIR) Post #AHCr4QWNOU4vDF9Okq by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-08T14:56:29Z
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@dhfir Not completely sure where you're going with this one – isn't the thing about Karens that they are inherently unable to empathize with others' viewpoints, no matter how small the difference in perspective is?@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHCr4R09bltihb5BAW by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T14:59:40.566602Z
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@phryk @freedcreative like, they seem to ascribe to everyone else the same arrogance and cruelty they exhibit, while not considering the thought they might be in the wrong.makes a lot more sense if they cannot fathom others thinking differently than they do.
(DIR) Post #AHCrMdskSPo1rZIhs0 by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T15:02:58.261527Z
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@phryk @freedcreative of course, the fact that many seem to find their behavior incomprehensible gives credence to the Idea that NTs as they are here described do not form a true majority.
(DIR) Post #AHCrzOCegWxKWt5WNc by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-08T15:03:47Z
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@dhfir A thing to keep in mind here is that the most vocal positions aren't necessarily the ones accepted by the majority of the movement.Interestingly, since leaving school, loud internet feminists are my main source of people just implying I'm male and have all the associated traits and privileges.And it always seems to be well-off white middle-class women telling me – a literally poor enby and abuse survivor – this bullshit.Like, way to fucking go.@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHCrzOh8rBLI3RLrto by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-08T15:09:57.974414Z
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@phryk @freedcreative yeah, half these people seem to still be clinging to the Idea of "boys have cooties"I've seen posts from spinsters seeming to suggest that some of these people genuinely believe everyone born with a penis and a pair of testicles is a subhuman rape monster incapable of such feminine faculties as having genuine emotions or suffering in any way.
(DIR) Post #AHElVEJsek2jmQchNI by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-08T21:45:43Z
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@dhfirOn that topic, the bird site thread and ensuing discussing has finally helped me understand my own relationship with gender.When I first heard it pointed out that gender is a social construct, I thought yeah that makes sense, it's obvious.But what I didn't twig to is that also explains why at this point in my life I personally feel no connection to it one way or another, because I feel no @phryk - 1/2
(DIR) Post #AHElVEq8inqbOTiSem by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-08T21:45:45Z
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connection to social constructs.I want to choose my clothing, hair and activities based primarily on how they effect my senses and mental state, and for me personally whether they're masculine or feminine is not important. (Other than, in the past, avoiding punishment for non-conformity.)I finally get myself.I've heard people talk about autigender. Maybe this is what they mean.@phryk @dhfir - 2/2
(DIR) Post #AHElVFIr02oepX9OPg by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T13:06:42.014907Z
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@freedcreative @phryk I know what you mean.I stopped questioning my sexuality around the time I asked myself what being "attracted to a gender" even meant to me.it held no meaning.gender itself has not dissolved so easily, in part due to, well, the punishment thing.
(DIR) Post #AHFRelPDD02v4kLTpw by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-09T20:54:23Z
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@dhfir When I first heard the term "gender role" my brain instantly went "That describes *exactly* the thing I *don't* want!" :thinkhappy: But yeah, I can't deny that the whole masculinity enforcement bullshit *did* leave a mark on me. Tho with me being the insufferable little shit I am, this more often than not meant leaning more into the nonconformance that made people angry in the first place.It did also introduce major problems in getting close to people, tho… :/@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHFReloNhQBAKo7a4G by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T20:59:01.136612Z
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@phryk @freedcreative agreed.I hear "gender role", I hear "bad thing", "societal problem", and "sexism".I'm just...DO NOT WANT.
(DIR) Post #AHFV8q4shb2w7ErucK by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-09T21:36:04Z
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@dhfir100% true.Gender role enforcement is just reinforcement of fabricated hierarchy by those who don't want to lose their spot in said hierarchy.Which, in addition to being complete delusion, is also people cutting off their nose to spite their face. They fight to keep a hierarchy in which they are very far from the top, and constantly being kicked by those with more bullying power.But instead of @phryk - 1/2
(DIR) Post #AHFV8qZMsFQtdn8G8W by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-09T21:36:06Z
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focusing on getting rid of the boot, they just want their turn to wear the boot instead.@phryk @dhfir - 2/2
(DIR) Post #AHFV8r2R8AgX5wjTRg by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T21:38:05.801218Z
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@freedcreative @phryk one of the few times I heard someone explicitly speak out in favor of gender roles, it came from someone calling themselves a feminist.
(DIR) Post #AHFW6arsNf5cJoHLEG by phryk@mastodon.social
2022-03-09T21:45:48Z
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@dhfir I do see some validity in gender roles for binary trans folks, tho.But as far as I can tell, younger trans peeps are more often enbies even after transitioning, so I think this has more to do with socialization than anything else – especially if you take into account that a whole bunch of traits associated to gender (like who the primary child-rearer is) are inverted in other cultures…@freedcreative
(DIR) Post #AHFW6bJshXUVifNhse by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T21:48:52.665026Z
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@phryk @freedcreative ehh.even if you wanna be a man or a woman, the Idea that one is "supposed" to act a certain way because of that doesn't sit right with me.
(DIR) Post #AHFW9bW2QdjXCEV2eW by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-09T21:47:24Z
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@dhfir @phryk Were they a non-disabled, relatively well off white woman?
(DIR) Post #AHFW9c0WbI7UimlOAi by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T21:49:26.672449Z
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@freedcreative @phryk all these things, and a TERF too.
(DIR) Post #AHFWwUNJlYj1EujNMu by freedcreative@merveilles.town
2022-03-09T21:55:20Z
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@phryk @dhfir Do you mean because of feeling a sense of peace once a person feels they fulfill one of the binary roles?I still have a problem with it, because people should feel wholly free to embody any collection of traits they want, whether seen as masc or femme. If the collection a person wants also happens to match a predefined gender role then IMO what's to be celebrated is still that they've found themselves, not whether or not they match a preset.
(DIR) Post #AHFWwUqk0AGEiAUsEK by dhfir@expired.mentality.rip
2022-03-09T21:58:16.659136Z
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@freedcreative @phryk yes agreed.I'll admit my reservations may be a result of the autistic "gender does not make sense" thingy, but it still feels that way.