Post A85gRIAGJsx2vPe9Zo by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #A85KDAT3wQf00ZIgHQ by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T18:59:08.102468Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
I feel like as I get older, I’m just watching the men who are my peers… go bad.Obviously they all grew up in patriarchy. Some of them were already starting to turn even at a young age. Those boys existed.But as teens, a lot of them were still pretty normal and just existing as young, relatively empathetic humans. And I was of what is probably the very last generation where they were at least adults before they were exposed to highly violent porn.For the most part, when I first started dating in early high school, finding a nice boy who would at least responsively listen if I pointed something out to him was not difficult at all. I don’t have a lot of bad things to say about any of the boys I dated at that age.And as I’ve gotten older, I just feel like I’ve been watching them spoil.I’ve been watching their perversions grow, twist, and then eventually get so out of control that most of them can’t even get an erection without porn anymore.I’ve been watching their tempers grow, harder, and now start to overtake even their basic sense of reason.And maybe they already had the signs of all those things when they were younger. I don’t know. But at least back then, their behavior was pretty simple and straight forward. It didn’t feel like avoiding the bad eggs was hard, even for naive 14-year-old me.And I’ve watched them turn from these fairly decent young boys, into these creepy, stunted men.And it’s really fucking sad when I look back on it.
(DIR) Post #A85KfOzVXOQt9xwIoS by GrumpyOldNurse@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T19:04:42.875390Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Lilitu part of getting older is recognizing red flags earlier, but, yeah, society is going to Hell. And, by society, I mostly mean men.
(DIR) Post #A85OxRcSu62cLB1JTc by typeadhd@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T19:42:54.355045Z
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@Lilitu It's because they've been told they deserve everything they ever want and are never told that they will have any obstacles and just the natural course of genes found on the Y chromosome that have caused them to turn out this way. Just kidding slightly but this doesn't shock me. That's why men created religion to keep their evil pathologies in check.
(DIR) Post #A85Ttlh4pERbDFFAPo by EatKnitSleep@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T20:47:02.633249Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@typeadhd @Lilitu Massive generalisation incoming.They are also encouraged to have high self esteem, even where it's not warranted, while the reverse is true for women. So women continue to work at improving themselves throughout life: learning from mistakes or other people's experiences, taking courses, reading self-help books, getting therapy. Men, OTOH, think they are already fantastic so don't bother to try to improve. By the time they're middle aged the differences are stark.Disclaimer: currently divorcing a man-baby, so might be projecting a wee bit. I've seen this dynamic outside of my own relationship though.
(DIR) Post #A85YhzPKVmgO2b94oC by SmallGreyMouse@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T20:40:02.604681Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
What generation are you? I was a teenager in the mid 2000’s-2010’s, and they seemed less rotted then but I was a painfully shy hermit so it’s possible I was just unaware. @Lilitu
(DIR) Post #A85YhzqyqynhQM59uK by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T20:43:05.658541Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@SmallGreyMouse I’m pretty close to you, maybe a couple years older. They’ve definitely gotten worse with age.
(DIR) Post #A85Yi0GVK5DWhW1Xgu by HarpyMarx@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:33:18.547399Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Lilitu @SmallGreyMouse I’m GenX and I have often wondered what is wrong with the sons-of-Don-Draper generation. My friends and I find the entitlement and inflexibility infuriating.
(DIR) Post #A85Yi0dBxjMhpsdf3Q by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:40:57.498264Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@HarpyMarx @SmallGreyMouse Got ruined by the celebration of learned helplessness and entitled misogyny that basically powers the entirety of internet culture. Same as Gen Z, just happened a little later in our development. 🤷♀️It’s one of the things that scares me so much for Gen Z. I see how badly the millennials have fared in adulthood. Half of us are basically just a write-off, and we didn’t start being exposed to this shit until we were in middle and high school. Gen Z has been steeped in it since birth.This shit ruins people. It’s just the total loss of any connection to real community, and dissociation from the body. Everyone is an atomized individual who must fight all other individuals for constant attention. If someone isn’t looking at them, they feel like they no longer exist, so this fake “world” is the only thing that matters to them.
(DIR) Post #A85Z4Jyyh9XwDwT5WK by ArtistBristol@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:46:04.931772Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Lilitu @HarpyMarx @SmallGreyMouse Trans-ideology, XR and BLM have all preached the same message to the kids - your parents are your enemies, democracy doesnt work so you need new masters who we will appoint, oh, and as we're all gonna fry anyway, it's not worth having any children, so it doesn't matter how you mess up your body. No wonder they are brainwashed.
(DIR) Post #A85gM9bAjxvsuUmdjU by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:35:30.809842Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@EatKnitSleep @typeadhd And another thing, because now I’m on a roll… 😂Of the men who aren’t living like children, they will literally put on their profile, “have a job and a place.”YOU’RE 35 YEARS OLD. THAT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING.It’s not an achievement to figure out how to not die nearly 20 years into adulthood, for fuck’s sake!The fact that guys actually brag about passing the bare minimum bar to not be an instant write-off is just… holy fuck.
(DIR) Post #A85gRIAGJsx2vPe9Zo by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T23:08:40.552446Z
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@Lilitu @EatKnitSleep @typeadhd With all the stuff I read on FDS, the bar is in Hell now for a decent man. I guess the bar is in the iron core of the earth now.
(DIR) Post #A85gtFpIbeUlmXAtdo by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T20:52:05.397087Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@EatKnitSleep @typeadhd Nah, I’d say it’s pretty true. The differences really are dramatic, if you happen to be a single bisexual who’s dating, like me.The number of men who just don’t have their lives together on even a basic level is absolutely mind-blowing. These guys are in their 30’s, and they’re still chronically financially unstable, anime-addicted stoners living at home or mooching off a friend or whatever. And they just can’t understand why no one wants to date them. They blame “the system” or whatever, but make absolutely no effort and expect everything to just be handed to them.I basically don’t see any women like that at all, ever. That pool has its own problems, but women in their 30’s living like children is NOT one of them.
(DIR) Post #A85izImwhqVSc95Mtk by 0cean@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:42:19.214197Z
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@Lilitu Yup, that sounds very accurately described. I had a much easier time dating in high school for the same reason. Years ago, I had a reunion with my high school sweetheart and holy shit had he ever disintegrated. His mind was weakened and his lifestyle was a complete mess. It was sad to see what became of him, when he used to be so smart, witty, caring, and had a healthy degree of self-respect.I know I have to be forever willing to live a single life. The man I'm dating now is someone I enjoy, but I have to be prepared to leave if something were to happen. If he ever became abusive, or the relationship was wearing me down and taking away from my well being, I would have to leave, and the potential would be I might be single for the rest of my life and I have to be okay with that.Most men I meet now seem to have actively regressed from where they were as teenagers. Maybe it's the fault of porn, lack of being challenged, too much auto-praise from society, or a combination of all the above. It's scary to see where this is all going though, because your point about porn affecting younger and younger boys is kind of horrific and I can only imagine where that's going to lead.I hope at some point people wake up to what is really happening here.
(DIR) Post #A85izJG0xll64IgaCu by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T21:48:20.955178Z
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@0cean God, same thing happened to me. I lost touch with my high school sweetheart after graduation, but he was a perfectly nice boy. We dated for 2 years, broke up on amicable terms. Never had to tell him more than once if something he was doing hurt my feelings.One of my friends in my mid-20’s knew the woman he was dating then, and the shit he was doing was just like… is this the same nice boy I dated at 16?! He was just this abusive, lazy piece of shit who wouldn’t get a fucking job and constantly cheated on her.Like… what happened?!
(DIR) Post #A85izJhfIxsPS3cfJ2 by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-06-08T23:37:12.858119Z
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@Lilitu @0cean I am a baby boomer in my sixties. I guess with 2 or 3 generations behind me, the coddling and entitlement of boys has just gotten worse, plus the easy access of kids of any age to sadistic, violent porn. Gail Dines talks about being nostalgic for the porn of when we were kids, which was beautiful ladies beautifully photographed in Playboy or Penthouse. Big name photographers worked for Playboy and National Geographic. There was some attempt made to see them as humans, since the write up along with the pictures would say that the lady's hobbies were walking her dog, or skating, or whatever. My father was a gentleman, and would have never looked at Playboy, even. I did not see Playboy until I was in high school. My older sister married a guy who read it. I read the interviews. I absorbed the misogyny of the cartoons and jokes without even realizing it. I got depressed because I thought all guys wanted girls with big bosoms, and I was flat. Now I'm glad that they don't get in the way. It's horrifying how our society has gone from beautiful naked ladies to sadistic, abusive, horrific porn and young people think that's what's supposed to be normal sex. Dr. Gail Dines says porn is "making hate" instead of making love. She's right.