Post A7lnqEoIH9JsHLolm4 by hoakelenli@anime.website
(DIR) More posts by hoakelenli@anime.website
(DIR) Post #A7kpieX2lS0GUGIfmC by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-29T21:43:38Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest do you think love is inherently a positive value that lowers trauma risks? It is true that our society glorifies love somewhat and poses it as a salvation and redeeming quality, but real life love is often tied with stress. Of course, exceptions are known, but they mostly include people with larger dating experience than a child will have.I am aggressively anti nuclear family. To my mind, a child should be brought up by a community, not a reclusive alliance of two people. Nuclear family is the number one place of child abuse. I do believe people who dream of having full control over their child and barring other people from them have serious personal problems that should be addressed with a doctor.
(DIR) Post #A7kvbE1NX1ZjxnKYds by Zest@nnia.space
2021-05-29T22:49:34Z
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@comrade_lecter @halos @Citrine love is a vague term which refers to a variety of things. it can mean attachment, it can mean care and consideration, it can mean physical affection. when speaking of love's influence on something, one must consider which of these things one really means. if you want a detailed and nuanced analysis anyways.
(DIR) Post #A7l0onuHv8OQnQJAtU by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-29T23:48:01Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest I've only once been in a relationship that was affected by economical issues, but it wasn't the most tense and stressful relationship I had. So I don't find that relevant.You see, I don't equate happiness to positive changes in people's lives either. My earlier life with my abuser was happy. Happiness is just a feeling, it doesn't remove anything from the bad things that might be going on. It's healthy for humans to bond with multiple people at once, not one or two-three.
(DIR) Post #A7l0rGIJLbvPPwiVRQ by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-29T23:48:31Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest I'd be curious to discuss this concept when we live in a different society.
(DIR) Post #A7lnqEoIH9JsHLolm4 by hoakelenli@anime.website
2021-05-30T03:05:38.986762Z
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@comrade_lecter @halos @Citrine @Zest so this is something i've been curious about for a while. maybe i haven't looked into what you and others have already laid out in enough detail, but is there a general vision from the anti camp for societal change? how do we close the gap btwn now and then? the phrasing of this comment in particular suggests either that all we can do is wait until we live in a different society, or else that the work of bringing about a different society has little to do with what we're currently talking about. in that case, what else are anti-c folks interested in doing/changing? what's the game plan?
(DIR) Post #A7lnqFHiVkr5kbaGdU by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T08:57:21Z
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@hoakelenli @halos @Citrine @Zest I have plans for changing the society that do not center contact discourse topics. As a communist, as an internationalist. In general, I have a vision of a less utilitarian world that's not focused on earning your right to survive. If I manage to successfully destroy nuclear family, I'll see what it does to the connections children form. I might change my contact stance if I see something entirely new, but not necessarily.
(DIR) Post #A7loR0W2NvS6eyoNrU by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T09:04:00Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest can you explain me how happiness is mutually exclusive with trauma, then? And I'm not talking about love now, I'm talking about happiness in general. I do not see happiness as a guarantee of health.I focus on the type of relationships that is prevalent in the modern society. Unfortunately, we do not see poly families and free love everywhere. Therefore, when I discuss child/adult relationships, I discuss the normative mono relationships.I have very little social environment stability, and I have plenty of marginalized identities, I just don't make permitting child/adult relationships my political goal, because that feels like chasing a mirage.
(DIR) Post #A7mKvBEUIjKZ7Q2BYe by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T15:08:01Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest well, we're not discussing this topic from the point of view of what you believe only, we're trying to find some dialogue between beliefs that differ.And yet, I want to pay more attention to the nature of happiness. I don't see it as an indication of a good life. Being happy is a natural state of a human being that indicates an average hormonal balance, not lack of abuse.
(DIR) Post #A7mNIQI0gbRMNwtOyG by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T15:34:37Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest one of the interesting outcomes of a study on child/adult sexual contact I read (https://sci-hub.tw/10.1007/bf01541421) was that the group with objectively fewer consensual experiences reported higher emotional satisfaction as adults. That's really not a sign of anything.
(DIR) Post #A7mQLtOvCrpZP7TI8W by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T16:08:53Z
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@halos @Citrine @Zest I was referring to the discrepancy between the percentage of forced contact and reported positive/negative emotions specifically in the groups of sex criminals. It can also be attributed to their overall poor boundaries though. They wouldn't have become rapists if they understood sex well.If you have a study with full text available, I want to see.
(DIR) Post #A7mQOLeR8yYbbFtpQG by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T16:09:20Z
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@halos ah, ok. I'll check it out.
(DIR) Post #A7mYp8xHFrrhfx03LE by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T17:43:48Z
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@halos I mean stuff like how around 19% rapists were forced by women and yet only around 3% said it was a negative experience.
(DIR) Post #A7mgOc3Nl6cPjmiQQC by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2021-05-30T19:08:39Z
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@halos what I meant isn't that rape isn't bad, but that perceiving something as negative or positive has little to do with how it might have affected your life.