Post A6CA6fvPPLMToczc3s by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #A69sI31rf15vAMMjo0 by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T01:09:19.693167Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
Things i have a hard time with being female...- Not being able to get my partner pregnant in the future. This genuinley has been one of the hardest things for me recently, I dont even know why, Im not trying to have a kid im only 17, but i just feel like im really missing out on something never being able to experience that.- How in social and cultural contexts my body limits how valuble I am, im not seen as cool or funny as guys are, and im definetly not seem as attractive or fashionable. This has been really evident to me since detransitioning.- Maybe this is more personal, but I feel like im always trying to become something in a male world and culture, like im secondary, and will never truley be able to be apart of it because im female. Like all the music i listen to is sung by male artists, all the characters i like are male, i feel like i dont see myself in the things i love or the people i admire because of that, and its difficult. I just really need to go off about this because im feeling kind of drained latley, and depressed. Its really hard for me to open up to people in real life because more often then not im struggling with being female, and people dont really understand why. Like theyll just tell me to transition or say maybe im trans, and im really over hearing that.
(DIR) Post #A69vGhysjOVJSY1WAy by MellowMarigold@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T03:56:25.843045Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kyupin1365 Your feelings are very normal and there plenty women out there who feel these things you have described you just have not come in to to contact with these women :) . Spinster is a wonderful place to meet women of all ages who have experienced what you have experienced. These women can can confort, listen, offer interesting perspectives and most importantly guide you.It nearly 4.00am in the uk so i will be going to bed after writing this thread. Here is my opinion and outlook. •" I just feel like im missing out on something never being able to experience that". Most people( not all everyone is different) want to have thier own biological children with the partner they love and care about. The human heart is so cruel because it makes us what and yearn for things sometimes we can never have in our lives and just lives us with a painful empty void in our lives.The bond and love shared between a child and its parnets is a special bond which lasts a lifetime. I feel bad for people who desire to have thier own children and cant have thier own children.Talk to other lesbians who cant have children with thier partners and ask how to deal with the pain of never being able to make the women you love pregnant I dont know what to say because i am anti natalist. 2) " How in social and cultural contexts my body limits how valuable i am " we live in a shallow society that values people on thier beauty rather than the kindness of the thier heart. It is so disgusting because there is so more to an Individual than their beauty. Beauty is not absolute because beauty can fade with age and can sometimes be cruelly taken away. People have lost thier attractive looks to disfigurement that has happened in thier lives . A person kindness of the heart lasts a lifetime because thier kindness touches whoever gets helped and that will always live on. When you die people will remember the times you helped them. Look at funerals they always talk about the good things the deceased did during their lifetime.Men in public have called me beautiful in the past but they dont see what i see. I see an ugly woman in the mirror and i hate having my picture taken. I hate my reflection. All i can say is fuck society and it is obession of physical beauty in a person. Fuck womens lifestyle magazines and trashy dating shows ie love islands.The people that matter in your life is those who love and care about you. Live and enjoy your life. Do things you want to do. This is how cope with living in this shallow vanity obessed bullshit world as a 23 year old woman. •" i am trying to become something in a male world... never be truly part of it because i am female "" i dont see myself in the things I love .....because of that " There loads of women who work and participate in male dominated environments and can still love the things they enjoy. Read about these women.Rescently a German female race car driver called Sabine Schmitz died. Race car driving is very male dominated . Sabine schimitz was a very talented race car driver in Germany and won a competitions. She used to prsesnt the BBC show Top gear which talks about cars. When she died the men were talking about how talented she was as a race car driver and how brilliant she was as a presenter on top gear. Jeremy Clarkson who worked with her on top gear was praising her in his tweets .Sabine would have had moments where felt like she didn't belong in this very male world of race car driving. Sabine didnt give up and she carried on with her passion. In death people remember her achievements. She has earned respect and admiration by both men and women. All i can do is follow your passion and never give up.Gender stereotypes have done so much harm. All gender stereotypes have done is put people in to boxes and make people feel there is something wrong with them if they dont conform.I say fuck gender stereotypes and follow your passion and interests.Dont put your self in a box continue loving the things you love.You are a young girl with your whole life ahead of you eventually you will learn to get better at coping with these feelings and eventually find your true self.Goodnight and love MellowMarigold :)https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/sport/2021/mar/17/sabine-schmitz-former-racing-driver-and-top-gear-presenter-dies-aged-51
(DIR) Post #A6AfJW1cEdnz8gZwv2 by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T13:07:07.409981Z
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@kyupin1365 It gets better, it really does. Surround yourself with women as much as you can, society is still male-as-default but working to make your day to day, and most importantly your own perception as women-centric as possible helps a lot. Once you start thinking in terms of women as default, you start to realise how crappy men are (in general) by comparison, and while physical femaleness is still such a huge inconvenience the alternative genuinely starts to look worse. Don't believe that dysphoria is immutable, that you'll never be happy with being female. It really is possible to learn to love being a woman, keep yourself surrounded by women, particularly GNC women, and our work and our creations as much as you can. Ignore men as far as you can. It's really surprised me how much it's helped me.
(DIR) Post #A6BCN9dMivvnL8Zwy8 by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:03:40.682773Z
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@Nagaraja Unfortunatley in my generation all GNC women have either transitioned, or are on the path to. All of them are trans or non binary. I think your probably right though, the more female centric i can make my life the better. I dont want to flat out just cut men out of my life, cause i feel like thats taking the easy way out. I want to be able to be okay with myself beside men, I want to feel equal to them. Ive been trying to read more female authors and listen to more female artists latley, and i think its a start. Maybe itll help a bit.
(DIR) Post #A6BCNA6QyrBQnIBAHI by Gelatinousrube@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:13:51.059279Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@kyupin1365 @Nagaraja Just my 2 cents... I've cut many, many interactions with men out of my life and it is easier. For me, not the "easy way out " if I can do something to bring some ease into my life, why not do it?If there's a opening in my life that's for friends or a healthcare provider, why not spend time with people who won't put me on my guard? Imo
(DIR) Post #A6BCPAQElQhcMcOjMO by polarisera@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:17:54.795490Z
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@Gelatinousrube @kyupin1365 @Nagaraja Just don't get sick and start puking in the parking lot. Rube will leave you there to die.
(DIR) Post #A6BCugNdzhf2SQDFbM by B_Reasonable@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:21:17.200236Z
4 likes, 1 repeats
@Gelatinousrube @kyupin1365 @Nagaraja “Why not spend time with people who won’t put me on my guard?” I couldn’t agree more. Sisters are good for you. Men... not so much.
(DIR) Post #A6BD024ImnSRAZiUXw by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:24:34.611542Z
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@B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja @kyupin1365 OK BUT DO I COUNT AS PRO GUARD OR NO?
(DIR) Post #A6BEy2K74CV9I1HvKy by B_Reasonable@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:28:15.775414Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@BCLADY @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja @kyupin1365 Hammy, that’s a good look for you!
(DIR) Post #A6BFxGormkcNues5I0 by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:57:41.659503Z
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@B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja @kyupin1365 This is true. I have never run around in a group of women, at least not after high school. Now that I'm retired, I'm cultivating friendships with younger women b/c most of the old ones are Bible thumpers who probably have never traveled anywhere and never met people that are different from them. I worked at the polls last year on primary day, run off day, and the general election in November. I realized here in JesusTrumpLand that I really have very little in common with these women. Went to high school, married their high school sweetheart or got married soon after, anyway, and settled in a little town of 300 people and never went to college or a big city. We did not talk politics (we have to be impartial) but I knew every single voter in that precinct was a Trump voter. I enjoy helping people vote.
(DIR) Post #A6BG5QAcu15PENw5om by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:59:10.043873Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Gelatinousrube @kyupin1365 @Nagaraja Cutting the jerks out of your life is always a good idea, whether male or female. Life gets a lot easier when you are around people who do not think life is a Jerry Springer Show.
(DIR) Post #A6BHjkDprz9AxSEEaW by Gelatinousrube@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T19:58:32.857541Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@B_Reasonable @Nagaraja @kyupin1365 Heck yes. I hired a financial advisor late last year. All-women advising firm. She brought up that she has a wife so I was even happier.I am putting money in her pocket, she's helping me with her skill set, and I'm not wondering if she thinks I'm a dumb cluck just because I'm a woman. (She is free to think it for other reasons, I know, ha.)I know women can scam people and do crimes, but I'd rather stack the deck in my favor.
(DIR) Post #A6BIwe2OH7NLUmafUu by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T20:31:11.717330Z
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@kyupin1365 Yeah we've "lost" a lot of GNC women, but I'm only a few years older than you and I'm one, and I know a few others too. I think part of it is that without as much of a culturally present butch community, the aesthetics of masculinity have changed for a lot of us, and we're a lot harder to spot nowadays. And cultural ideas about femininity have changed a lot, I've hardly ever seen 25+ year old butch women have a phase of performing femininity, but when I was 17 I wore stilettos and liquid eyeliner every day, out of insecurity and influenced by my peers' politics. So, especially as young as you are, it's a lot harder to find gender non conformity as an "identity", though I hate the word. Things are changing, though, I really do think that a mixture of us being much less visible now and people giving up on enbyism and transition eventually will settle things down again in the future. I know it's so hard feeling like you're one of the only ones left, though, it's impossible not to feel like we missed out on the hayday of lesbianism, but keep going, and keep looking for us.I haven't completely cut out men myself, but I think having enough music etc that you don't feel you HAVE to resort to men is a very good thing. It's a lot easier once you don't feel you're relying on men for anything at all, and from that point for me at least women's music and particularly art has just become such a wonderful thing men's contributions aren't speaking to me so much anymore. Once you're not feeling reliant, knowing your own place and feeling equal comes a whole lot more naturally, it's still an effort but it's an important foothold.
(DIR) Post #A6BMnxBG8FM64pqkiG by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T21:06:11.765883Z
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@BeachBleach @B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja I can never understand how any woman would ever want that...like your essentially just your husbands property as much ass his house is. You never live a life on your own, as soon as your finished high school your stationed in the kitchen for the rest of your life having some mans kids. I just feel bad for them.
(DIR) Post #A6BMw2eff7ZFN8Soc4 by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T21:15:54.599488Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kyupin1365 @B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja They've been discouraged from asserting themselves, discouraged from going to college or getting anymore education at all, even a 2 year trade school, so they are either farmers or ranchers or have crappy jobs. So I don't think they ever realize that they've been oppressed and pushed down their entire lives. Social disapproval is a powerful thing.
(DIR) Post #A6BsE0w7t4c3plg6am by Mazikeen@spinster.xyz
2021-04-13T01:45:07.819377Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kyupin1365 I feel exactly the same in a lot of ways. I also don't really talk about it much because like you said, the problem is with femininity and not femaleness, but everyone assumes that it's with femaleness. I definitely get this feeling a lot with the way clothes fit on my chest, like it's not a discomfort with the fact that I have boobs but with the fact that the clothes I wear send a different message because of them. The whole thing is about the fact that women wearing t-shirts look "sloppy" because we're supposed to be wearing a tank-top or blouse. I'm honestly just waiting for the day that we get more masculine women into the public eye, it sucks not to see ourselves represented anywhere.
(DIR) Post #A6CA6fvPPLMToczc3s by kyupin1365@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T21:03:42.009419Z
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@B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja I dont really feel on gaurd with men, mostly just insecure, and like im not as good as them. Still i do agree women need to come together away from men and form our own cultures and spaces though.
(DIR) Post #A6CA6gOTfGc7GmapN2 by Gelatinousrube@spinster.xyz
2021-04-12T22:07:15.138829Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kyupin1365 @B_Reasonable @Nagaraja That's cool. I don't like the sizing up and boundary testing. I don't talk about my personal life at work usually, but I mentioned I was divorced (I didn't say from whom/what sex) and counted down to the slight probing into my "dating life." In my experience men want to know if they *could* fuck you, if they felt like doing such a thing. And they're always sure to say their wives are emotionally immature, jealous children. Wow is this is how you talk about your wife, I just feel my panties flying off. 🤣 I can't interact with anyone in that way and fool myself into thinking we have a friendship.I work with one guy who talks about his wife as if she's the coolest person he knows. He's crazy about her. It's rare.
(DIR) Post #A6CKudx419q1iTESYq by BeachBleach@spinster.xyz
2021-04-13T08:27:57.751116Z
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@kyupin1365 @B_Reasonable @Gelatinousrube @Nagaraja Well, they are indoctrinated and may never realize it. They were told that their natural state as women was to be submissive to their fathers, later their husbands, and always their male ministers. Fundamentalist Christianity encourages extreme passivity, praying about stuff, "leaving it to God" and never doing anything to change a situation. You're never supposed to have an independent thought or disagree, because that is serious rebellion that means that the devil has gotten ahold of you. Typical groupthink cult. There are many cults, not always religious, that have similar characteristics. It's called the BITE model.