Post A5UpBalAkGGAx2wo7M by Nemhu@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) More posts by Nemhu@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) Post #A5UY4BFFVoMAZQtbYe by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T05:27:54Z
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Food for starving thought:"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention."- My Way, Frank SinatraWhat a "fantastic" life to be able to utter such words and mean them.That is the polar opposite of me.My growth, and who I am, came from regrets most dare not mention.I got 'my' way from others, and it 'worked' like a leftist charm. Nothing but recipes for disaster.Had to dump it all. Start from scratch wherever/however possible.Unlearning was more powerful than learning.
(DIR) Post #A5UZhk9zjQik6drp6u by Nemhu@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T05:46:15Z
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@StevenDouglas My experience as well. I’m still surprised when I become aware of some behavior or thought pattern that I then choose to unlearn. Very powerful, life changing. Takes courage and humility to improve.
(DIR) Post #A5UaEfyEKWdAfU4GH2 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T05:52:12Z
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@EmmaleeLang Disassociation can help one with enough distance (time and space), to better understand all walls, whether broken through, walked around, walked through as if not there, or simply respected, left alone.My disassociation was of thoughts, ways, myriad philosophies.Only selective disassociation from people.Remaining selectively engaged is the only way I could test new theories, new ways, out of the vacuum of thoughts alone.That led to far more (and more lasting) engagements.
(DIR) Post #A5UbQ0CbY5HaYVkvp2 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T06:05:28Z
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@Nemhu I have a mental image I keep in my mind for this one. It's of a room in a building on fire. The darkest and hottest of billowing smoke is at the ceiling. At floor level, it's all clear. Stand tall and you're toast. Crawl like a baby and you have the clearest view and coolest and freshest air available in the room.If in doubt, choked off, surrounded by unbearable heat with no visibility, DROP LIKE A ROCK. GO LOW
(DIR) Post #A5UfFAhsYL9tlXTWzo by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T06:48:20Z
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@Nemhu The beginnings of my unlearning came from observing teens much smaller than me who appeared to be getting along and making their way through everything just fine."Why am I a target? Why are they immune from vicious and violent daily attacks?"ALL advice I was given was bullshit. A few glorious epiphanies and unlearnings later and I became more invisible than than my smaller peers.The power to finally move through violence unnoticed, unscathed, was the start of a beautiful journey.
(DIR) Post #A5UfPvMfvzW9MvgW36 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T06:50:16Z
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@Nemhu The beginnings of my unlearning came from observing teens much smaller than me who appeared to be getting along and making their way through everything just fine."Why am I a target? Why are they immune from vicious, violent daily attacks?"ALL advice I was given was bullshit.A few glorious epiphanies and unlearnings later and I became more invisible than my smaller weaker peers.The power to finally move through violence unnoticed, unscathed, was the start of a beautiful journey.
(DIR) Post #A5UfYGduhtUzg6j5CC by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T06:51:47Z
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@Nemhu The beginnings of my unlearning came from observing teens much smaller than me who appeared to be getting along and making their way through everything just fine."Why am I a target? Why are they immune from vicious, violent daily attacks?"ALL advice I was given was bullshit.A few glorious epiphanies and unlearnings later and I became more invisible than my smaller weaker peers.The power to finally move through evil unnoticed, unscathed, was the start of a beautiful journey.
(DIR) Post #A5Uh7sJcjTGGbjmKnY by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T07:09:25Z
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@Tamcamp Yes. That's why, once you know it, and learn from it, you keep your back turned to it. Forever.The goal is to drag less and less of that nasty past with you into each daily future. And don't look back.Remember Lot's wife.
(DIR) Post #A5UjYGVjb56f5N9fAe by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T07:36:36Z
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@Tamcamp A lot of freedom came for me when I bucked conventional wisdom of rationalizing, defending myself, and building up "my self-esteem".Bullshit. Not interested. I WANTED to convict myself in everything, regardless of anyone else's involvement. If I could take responsibility I would. If I could take all of it I would. It was just information and I needed it.Parts that were mine stuck to me, giving me a CLEAR view of things I could change.MUCH wouldn't stick. It just fizzled away.
(DIR) Post #A5UpBalAkGGAx2wo7M by Nemhu@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T08:39:44Z
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@StevenDouglas Am contemplating what you wrote. Opened a new awareness for me. I’ve learned to step back and take a spacious view therefor not reacting. It’s like an opera singer learning to control a powerful beautiful voice to reach new heights. I used to swim laps. I love being in the water, the rhythm, the breathing. It’s like a crawling meditation. It gave me joy, strength and perseverance. A spacious view swimming in my own lane.
(DIR) Post #A5V3OiAXuL9V3NxwZc by tinadiz@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T11:18:59Z
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@StevenDouglas @EmmaleeLang Steven, you are very cerebral. And I say that with admiration. I disassociated from my career, left work and retired at the ripe old age of 45... and have not looked back. Best move of my life..
(DIR) Post #A5V87AWSFeOVY3fT4i by Lolosmom@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T12:11:50Z
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@StevenDouglas Powerful statement, "unlearning was more powerful than learning."As someone who has worked a 12 step program, for all the new coping skills I learned, I've probably had to UNLEARN twice as many old ones. Yes, learn/unlearn.. should go part and parcel.good stuff, Steven!
(DIR) Post #A5VCU4CgJKT0QZaq7k by seeker@social.quodverum.com
2021-03-23T13:00:47Z
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@StevenDouglas Can share most of what you say.Not so much the "my way" but all of the rest.