Post A4ysPOGTG71DZ40jRY by MountainSlideMama@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by MountainSlideMama@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #A4yrfSPXVk2b6SLlB2 by mieldejacaranda@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T17:35:04.379904Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
If you're a lesbian, how do you feel when people addresses you as "gay"? What do you think of other lesbians simply calling themselves gays instead of lesbians? Is this a kind of lesbophobia?Don't mean to bother, just want to take on count your perspective.
(DIR) Post #A4yrhSdJeijuN5kVrk by oxfordcomma@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T17:58:53.464105Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@mieldejacaranda "Gay", to me, is fine. What bothers me is when people do mental loops to avoid "lesbian", or when they use the "queer" term instead. It's like lesbian is being treated like an outdated term - when it's a descriptor for a very real and alive sexuality.I *have* been using the term "women loving women"/"WLW" in conjunction with lesbian since a lot of TIMs have been referring to themselves as lesbians.
(DIR) Post #A4yrnBvKh55OHluPjc by Chronic-Yonic@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T22:36:55.390605Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@mieldejacaranda To me, gay is for men, lesbian is for women. I've seen too many lesbians contort themselves in avoiding the word lesbian but are willing to use gay or qu**r instead, saying the word lesbian was not inclusive enough and was archaic. We are not the same, those girls and I, I'm not ashamed of what I am. They obviously have internalized lesbophobia, I don't 😂
(DIR) Post #A4ysPNtmcSs2QhOc52 by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T22:32:23.438021Z
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@mieldejacaranda I don't mind when people call me gay instead but I prefer lesbian because that word needs to be used more to normalize it, straight men have turned it into a porn category and that causes people to shy away from it. I think other lesbians that call themselves gay and never use the word lesbian should do whatever makes them comfortable. A lot of times not using the word lesbian is a pretty good indicator of internalized homophobia though, because all the negative stereotypes about lesbians are tied to the word. More power to other lesbians that aren't afraid to call themselves lesbians.
(DIR) Post #A4ysPOGTG71DZ40jRY by MountainSlideMama@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T22:35:31.054376Z
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@lezpaulguitars @mieldejacaranda Personally, I use the word Lesbian proudly, & it is a signal to me when a lesbian uses the word gay that they likely have internalized the negative patriarchal attitude toward the word. Rather than fight back against the "porn" bullshit, they've given in, adopting a word used to refer to homosexual men. It kinda bugs me, TBH.
(DIR) Post #A4ysPOfHlqrso1cY7c by grace_hawthorn@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T22:43:27.674843Z
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@MountainSlideMama @lezpaulguitars @mieldejacaranda i like 'lesbian' and it's how i refer to myself, because it's all about women and always has been. I don't mind other people referring to us as 'gay women' because i think the intention is good and it's not actually insulting. 'dyke' is a word i think only lesbians can use, and i don't like it when straight women use it.'queer', though, gets a 'fuckety fuck off and jump in the sea' 🤣 🤣
(DIR) Post #A4yt1aZpvjX8krHdOC by RustyCrab@kiwifarms.cc
2021-03-07T22:51:22.046740Z
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@lezpaulguitars @mieldejacaranda Is there anything that *isn't* a porn category tho?
(DIR) Post #A4ytr2rsVLPJGaG5OS by the_trunchbull@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T22:53:57.783772Z
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@mieldejacaranda Sometimes I use gay as an adjective, because I’ve always heard lesbian as a noun (even though I know it started as an adjective). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using gay as a synonym for homosexual. But it’s also important to recognize that lesbians have our own communities and issues separate from gay men, and lesbian is not a dirty word, so I’m making more of an effort to use it as often as possible.
(DIR) Post #A4yuNgZQQZGvfTBvdI by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T23:05:07.852085Z
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@RustyCrab @mieldejacaranda yeah but lesbian porn is one of the most popular categories, at least in the US. and with most other things, porn isn't the first thing that pops into someone's mind. but its the first thing a lot of straight guys think of when someone says "lesbian"
(DIR) Post #A4yudpytCrPxUJntnU by RustyCrab@kiwifarms.cc
2021-03-07T23:09:28.998918Z
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@lezpaulguitars @mieldejacaranda I won't disagree with that tbh, since I've really never watched lesbian porn at all (doesn't do anything for me) and it was the first thing I thought of. Part of it also might be that I hardly ever hear the word "lesbian" anymore in any other context and I haven't in years... which is frickin' weird now that I think about it because literally everything is idpol anymore. Maybe it's a vicious cycle where the porn makes people skittish to use it, then the lack of it's use outside of porn reinforces that.
(DIR) Post #A4yw2XqFsupuQL6uiO by RustyCrab@kiwifarms.cc
2021-03-07T23:25:09.342166Z
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@mieldejacaranda Now you got me thinking about it... do you think part of it could just be that "lesbian" is harder to say when you're talking? Forget any meaning it has, I'm saying it out loud in sentences and it just doesn't mesh as well with other words. Verbal friction like that, however small, is definitely something that makes people abbreviate words while not necessarily doing it consciously.
(DIR) Post #A4ywhhQHASPQ0maCWm by ethel@spinster.xyz
2021-03-07T23:26:52.665260Z
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@lezpaulguitars @mieldejacaranda I'm still trying to become comfortable calling myself a lesbian.. part of me still thinks that one day I'll "grow up" and partner with a man like I'm supposed to. I can't see myself ever enjoying a relationship or physical contact with a guy but lots of women are in unfulfilling relationships and they make do. idk if that's internalized homophobia or something else. but I've only told one or two people who I no longer talk to, so I don't need to worry about what anyone calls me.
(DIR) Post #A4z1FJVyxlOrWbXITg by lezpaulguitars@spinster.xyz
2021-03-08T00:21:32.155379Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ethel @mieldejacaranda I think that as women we owe it to ourselves to put our happiness first, and only pursue relationships that we actually enjoy. I wouldn't say that's internalized homophobia so much as its female socialization: we're used to putting everyone else's happiness before our own. And it needs to stop. You shouldn't have to "make do" with a guy that you're not really attracted to, you deserve love ❤