Post A0hUer1mIH2chspRmC by fitheach@mstdn.io
(DIR) More posts by fitheach@mstdn.io
(DIR) Post #A0hABbMPT0wmdPFkTA by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:09:26Z
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I've met a girl. She is smart, witty, charming, gorgeous, vivacious, entertaining, and all-round wonderful. I'm smitten.But, but, but... she is a smoker.
(DIR) Post #A0hAOT2TiXA4ag46C0 by gedvondur@hulvr.com
2020-10-30T18:11:45Z
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@fitheach Unfortunate, but perhaps over time can be remedied. Everybody's got a problem.
(DIR) Post #A0hArbVJK7JnF5Rcrw by mpjgregoire@mamot.fr
2020-10-30T18:16:53Z
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@fitheach Maybe she could become a vaper. Does she speak Gaelic?
(DIR) Post #A0hAwTpdHB16tZH7TM by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:17:55Z
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@gedvondur I know, I'm maybe being a bit picky, but I can't help it. I've never been a smoker, and I just find it so off-putting
(DIR) Post #A0hBBgYuEAx2ilhZp2 by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:20:40Z
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@mpjgregoire Does being a vaper make a differnce? Does it mean no smell?She does speak Gaelic.
(DIR) Post #A0hCPSsA1Np4GwqI52 by gedvondur@hulvr.com
2020-10-30T18:34:21Z
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@fitheach I can't deny its off-putting, but is not like she's shooting heroine or has a Nazi tattoo.Smitten doesn't come around that often, at least for me.
(DIR) Post #A0hCjj2Bds8UBlC25I by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:38:00Z
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@gedvondur Smitten does happen often for me either. I was with my ex for 24 years.She doesn't have any tattoos (that I'm are of), which is also a big plus for me.
(DIR) Post #A0hCuu1n6maVTDL0BE by TruculentSheep@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T18:39:55Z
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@fitheach So was Mrs. Sheep, when I met her.
(DIR) Post #A0hD7YFNOtIHgNivCa by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:42:19Z
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@TruculentSheep Who/what/how did she change?
(DIR) Post #A0hDDxUgRiQdiowFg8 by TruculentSheep@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T18:43:28Z
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@fitheach Well, she changed species. Also, she eventually gave up the ciggies.
(DIR) Post #A0hDHvD8sMZ9neciUS by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:44:12Z
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@TruculentSheep Aye, but what made her change?
(DIR) Post #A0hDJhX8hPvDxWpEvo by TruculentSheep@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T18:44:31Z
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@fitheach Relentless nagging.
(DIR) Post #A0hDS3fCIw9cuWZzPM by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:46:02Z
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@TruculentSheep Well done. Funny though, because nagging usually has the opposite effect.
(DIR) Post #A0hDUsAlU2nE8ogelk by TruculentSheep@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T18:46:33Z
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@fitheach Not in my experience. Consistency of message over time does wonders.
(DIR) Post #A0hDYkVztcNfYAT0BU by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:47:13Z
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@TruculentSheep You've never met my ex.
(DIR) Post #A0hDahLucrD4Jvg9lQ by TruculentSheep@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T18:47:37Z
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@fitheach Well, technically speaking, nagging worked there too.
(DIR) Post #A0hDkuZyItZcEq7p3o by krinkle@polyglot.city
2020-10-30T18:49:22Z
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@fitheach perhaps be honest about it being uncomfortable for you, but in a non-judgemental way.I personally wouldn't push for any sort of change. Just say how you feel :)I hope with time you'd understand their choices (By understanding I don't mean justification.) and perhaps it might also change or reduce around you.
(DIR) Post #A0hE11kpOWqV7nt6B6 by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T18:52:21Z
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@krinkle I'm fine with people making choices, I do it myself, all the time. 😃 It is the smell, and, erm, the taste, I find off-putting.
(DIR) Post #A0hETZiugx18aQbYvo by Bella@krefeld.life
2020-10-30T18:57:29Z
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@fitheach My husband was a HEAVY smoker when we met. Interestingly he did not smoke when he was at my place, but the minute he left he was right back at it. It took him 1.5 years and the lecture of "Endlich Nichtraucher", but he has been a nonsmoker ever since. So there is hope!
(DIR) Post #A0hF69cveTVywYCYhE by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T19:04:29Z
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@Bella Were you also a smoker at one point?My heart tells me I should, but my head is much more cautious.
(DIR) Post #A0hHbqcK45fpA19sQK by kensanata@octodon.social
2020-10-30T19:32:36Z
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@fitheach I think you should go with your heart because it’s hard to command whereas you can always reason with your head, later.@Bella
(DIR) Post #A0hHt4tcEI5qMvSlea by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T19:35:44Z
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@kensanata It sure is tempting.@Bella
(DIR) Post #A0hMdUGQdyxGBRWDrc by Bella@krefeld.life
2020-10-30T20:28:55Z
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@fitheach I agree with Alex!I have never smoked in my life. And I didn't like it when my now husband did, but I was smitten with him, so I accepted this vice. And well, I did win in the end 😉 @kensanata
(DIR) Post #A0hTIxIwAzpVqgqhIu by yngmar@social.tchncs.de
2020-10-30T21:43:37Z
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@fitheach Smokers ain't smart? Also icky to make out with, even before their teeth rot out. Couldn't do it myself. Be with a smoker, that is.
(DIR) Post #A0hUer1mIH2chspRmC by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-30T21:58:50Z
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@yngmar Kind of my thinking, too. Everything else is sooo perfect though.
(DIR) Post #A0hZc7uNZhtTxmt2ga by yngmar@social.tchncs.de
2020-10-30T22:54:21Z
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@fitheach Well, did you bring it up? Nothing to loose :)
(DIR) Post #A0hmNl9efsBUkCVm9A by wrdwoose@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T01:17:25Z
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@fitheach i don't know if it takes some decisive 'all or none' moment in a relationship, or a longer conversation to mutually identify a resolution, but humans are trainable, and new behaviors can be a useful transition. how does some vigorous didgeridoo blowing sound? 😃
(DIR) Post #A0iQTq5BGJ75vos9Fg by jamie@social.helios.red
2020-10-30T22:25:35.861807Z
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@fitheach I was a smoker until I met my wife. It took about a year for me to stop. I didn’t really want to, but I could see it meant a lot to her that I stopped.
(DIR) Post #A0iQTqYFWEMjNyTMYq by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T08:46:44Z
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@jamie That gives me hope. I suppose it depends on the other person, whether they are the type than can give up smoking.Well done, to you, for doing something like that for your wife.
(DIR) Post #A0iR8U00GyJPJVpb2u by jamie@social.helios.red
2020-10-30T22:29:02.729618Z
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@fitheach Vaping doesn’t smell in the same way as smoking. It doesn’t stick to your clothes or make your house stink. The ‘vapour’ dissipates very quickly. @mpjgregoire
(DIR) Post #A0iR8VpRTD3IzKuBrU by wizardofosmium@mastodon.social
2020-10-30T22:49:21Z
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@jamie @mpjgregoire @fitheach Sorry to butt in on this thread but I was at a party a few years ago and the host was vaping. It was the first time I'd been that close to a vaper. The smell made me nauseous, so much so that I had to leave early.
(DIR) Post #A0iR8WnLsSyTz8w2F6 by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T08:54:03Z
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@wizardofosmium This is a public discussion, feel free to "butt in" at any time.A few folk at work use vapers, and I find them off-putting, too. Although, vapers are much less horrible than real cigarettes.No smoking in public places was one of the best ideas ever.@jamie @mpjgregoire
(DIR) Post #A0iR9q21qDqLw7QOrg by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T08:54:21Z
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@yngmar True.
(DIR) Post #A0iRVC6kxQK4UBos3E by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T08:58:11Z
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@wrdwoose I don't know the answer to that, either. I think I might drop some hints into our conversations, indicating my dislike of smoking. I'll see what happens.Is "vigorous didgeridoo blowing" some obscure euphemism I haven't encountered before? 😃
(DIR) Post #A0j6bBNweb3K6Ppjlo by wrdwoose@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T16:38:41Z
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@fitheach lol. i had an "oh" moment after writing that, but left it alone in hopes i wouldn't make it worse. i was thinking along the lines of substituting cigarettes for something similarly straight and, uh, operated orally... so anyway, she's keen on movies and backpacking, too, eh? ... :ablobthinkingeyes:
(DIR) Post #A0jBtt1xcSuGRwHwxM by fitheach@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T17:38:05Z
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@wrdwoose We've not discussed movies or backpacking, yet. However, she is an outdoors person, and she loves dogs. 😃
(DIR) Post #A0jFrEW1gM4A22LF8S by wrdwoose@mstdn.io
2020-10-31T18:22:25Z
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@fitheach well, best wishes for things to turn out great, at least for the dog, who would benefit from those spectacularly photogenic walks you share on the fedi 😉