Post 9lFcFLMQqtk7dEUAT2 by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
 (DIR) More posts by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
 (DIR) Post #9lFcFKXjtNC360lgS8 by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
       2019-07-26T10:06:17Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       "Is anybody in the queue?" the person who'd just arrived asked the hairdresser. (This one doesn't do appointments.)I'm the only person here except the one who's actually getting their hair cut right now so it seems like a bit of an odd question but... *shrug*.It makes me brace myself to hear "just this lady" or something though, but! The hairdresser says "Nope, just this person!"Hairdressers are usually /such/gendered places, this makes me feel good. :heart_agender:
       
 (DIR) Post #9lFcFKvqRkTYIm2w1g by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
       2019-07-26T14:59:09Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       It was actually kind of nice that this wasn't specific to me, either.As I was leaving I said the hairdresser could have a little break since no one else was there. But someone had just walked in behind me so she said "I'm going to cut this person's hair now!" And the person was really femme-presenting so it'd have been very easy to say "this lady" and I just think it's nice that she didn't.Calling a stranger "person" rather than "guy" or "lady" or whatever is something I'm working on myself.
       
 (DIR) Post #9lFcFLMQqtk7dEUAT2 by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
       2019-07-26T15:03:13Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       I always think of my mom who, if she's yelling from inside her car at someone else's driving will address the driver as "guy," like "what are you doing, guy?" or "get out of the way, guy" or whatever. But if she looks more closely at the driver and thinks she sees a woman, she'll correct it: "er, lady!" Even as a kid who'd never had a thought about gender, I thought this was weird. She's often insulting the person, they can't hear her anyway, but still she'll correct a perceived misgendering!
       
 (DIR) Post #9lFcFLfvgPL4bhbjrE by hollyamory@mspsocial.net
       2019-07-26T15:08:04Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       It's so weird that people feel compelled to do this! We're concerned about the gender of strangers we momentarily hate! Concern for babies' gender is as well documented as it is bizarre. Yet we can just say "person"! Or "kid," "baby" or whatever.A friend and I were talking about other friends' children and I said "their kids" at the same time my friend said "their girls" and then repeated "kids" like I'd corrected her but I hadn't. I just succeeded that time in avoiding unnecessary gendering.
       
 (DIR) Post #9lFcFMRQpnKuz1pfto by anne@beach.city
       2019-07-26T18:47:57Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @hollyamory It is a social expectation that we be able to reliably assign the correct gender to everyone we meet. People get really uncomfortable if they can't, or if someone gets it wrong. So babies are dressed in pink or blue, and adults who send insufficient or conflicting signals are making people around us uncomfortable. Occasionally fashion will adopt cross-gender cues as a shocking element.All this is a disaster for anyone of unconventional gender.