Post 2857356 by jackdaw_ruiz@mastodon.social
(DIR) More posts by jackdaw_ruiz@mastodon.social
(DIR) Post #2857305 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:25:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I was going to make a joke about "No interest until 2019!" like that's still an impossibly futuristic year
(DIR) Post #2857314 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:25:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I remember being a kid and watching furniture ads saying, like, "No interest until 2006!" and imagining what the impossible future of two thousand and six would bring
(DIR) Post #2857330 by ben@mastodon.lubar.me
2019-01-11T07:25:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace I'm not interested until 2019
(DIR) Post #2857343 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T07:26:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace While we're on the topic of futuristic years, I think my absolute favorite thing to see age in old scifi films is when they say stuff like "In the distant future of 2008!!!" and then a flying car shoots by
(DIR) Post #2857349 by ben@mastodon.lubar.me
2019-01-11T07:27:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace furniture stores have the weirdest business model where they constantly pretend to undercut themselves and I don't think any other industry does it
(DIR) Post #2857356 by jackdaw_ruiz@mastodon.social
2019-01-11T07:27:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace it's 2019 on the calendar, but it's 20X6 in my heart.
(DIR) Post #2857386 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:28:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ben it's like how mattress stores are constantly having some kind of sale
(DIR) Post #2857402 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:29:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt I'm always thinking about the Harvey Birdman joke where the Jetsons say they're from the "mysterious, far-off future of 2002"
(DIR) Post #2857496 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:29:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @BestGirlGrace the entirety of the metal gear solid timeline is now alternate history instead of the future, and that's kind of depressing even though the series is A LITANY OF HORRIBLE ROBOT WAR CRIMES
(DIR) Post #2857497 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:33:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt Yeah, but on the other hand, Snake has an MP3 player in 1975, so it's a tradeofffor a world full of endless mercenary war and inscrutable endless world-spanning conspiracies
(DIR) Post #2857551 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T07:35:42Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg Choose one:The world is not currently being controlled by a series of AIs hiding inside of Arsenal Gear that perpetuate an eternal war for economic profitorVaping was invented in the 70s and you can use a cool holographic vape cigar to smoke weed
(DIR) Post #2857604 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:37:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg I'm on the fence, and I could be tipped one way or the other by knowing whether I'd end up one of the hornier superpowered mercs
(DIR) Post #2857649 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T07:40:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg "She just kept on vaping. Now why do you suppose that is?""Hunngghhhhngg, something in her past?""You got it. Sort of. She's just really horny for vaping, that's why they called her Vaping Octopus."
(DIR) Post #2857716 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:43:18Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg as soon as they assign you an animal code name, that's your government issued fursona. Otacon gets you a ref sheet and everythingAnyways, I think Vaping Skunktopus would be one of those memorable brainfucky boss fights where I try to hypnotize you through the controller or something
(DIR) Post #2857751 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:45:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt you could psych players out by reading their incognito browser history
(DIR) Post #2857781 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:47:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt "You think you can hide from me, Snake? I know all about you Googling for Dong Dunkers 6. You'd get better results if you used Bing~'"
(DIR) Post #2857793 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:47:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt wait. WOULD you get better results if you used Bing
(DIR) Post #2857806 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:47:03Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt AND THEN THEIR TV WOULD TURN OFF
(DIR) Post #2857807 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:47:56Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt modern consoles can actually do thatturn the TV off, then back on a few seconds later like "Miss me, Snake~?
(DIR) Post #2857821 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:48:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt I don't search for, like, Normie Porn, but I've found Bing much more useful for locating pornographies than Googa
(DIR) Post #2857828 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:48:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt oh damn! they had to fake it in the games! switching controllers on the PS3 was a little more difficult to figure out than on the PS1, though
(DIR) Post #2857837 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:49:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt oh shit, i'm gonna try that then
(DIR) Post #2857849 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:50:08Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt Today's gamers are used to fake game over screens and the big green HIDEO in the corner. You gotta really fuck 'em up. Call their mom on the phone. Email their dad. Make 'em message their friends. Jack into the back of their neck and hack their brain a little bit. Really push the envelope.
(DIR) Post #2857886 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:51:22Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt so what you're saying is, the next MGS game should be an ARG
(DIR) Post #2857896 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:52:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt I think that Hideo Kojima is longing to go beyond video games, and I also think he's willing to hire people to look up Playstation users and send mail to their parents
(DIR) Post #2857904 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T07:52:28Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt 100% accurate
(DIR) Post #2857972 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:56:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt *Otacon voice* Snake! You have to send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Hideo Kojima1 Hideo Kojima's Actual House RoadAnytown, USA
(DIR) Post #2857991 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T07:56:56Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg I can't believe the next Hideo Kojima game is actually just going to be a gps disguised as a disc that transmits your location to the isekai truck.Suddenly, YOU are the protagonist in this wild adventure.
(DIR) Post #2858039 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T07:59:18Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg Hideo Kojima sits at home with a video game controller that sends mild electric shocks into your body to get you to do what he wantshe's gonna get that permadeath mechanic he wanted in Snake Eater one way or another
(DIR) Post #2858134 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T08:04:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt i guess it really wasa Death Stranding
(DIR) Post #2858170 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:06:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@distressedegg @fluxom_alt Ah, so the real space fetus was inside us all along
(DIR) Post #2858197 by spottyfox@vulpine.club
2019-01-11T08:06:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace Maaan it's 2020 next year. We should be living in space stations or something
(DIR) Post #2858210 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:07:28Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@spottyfox I feel lied to by the one Superman 2020 story I read as a kid
(DIR) Post #2858363 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T08:13:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg The year is 2045 and the world has been destroyed by global climate change. All of mankind has retreated underground and plugged their brains into a virtual reality simulation to live out their days until the world is finally ready to sustain human life again. As the last human plugs into the machine and drifts off into sleep, Hideo Kojima jumps out of the shadows and dunks his game into the computer.
(DIR) Post #2858374 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:14:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg Pulling off an elaborate National Treasure/Carmen Sandiego heist to discover the secret code that reads "Hideo Kojima Is God"
(DIR) Post #2858409 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T08:16:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg Jesus descends from heaven riding upon seven clouds. He takes seven steps down onto mortal soil then takes off his mask revealing Hideo Kojima. "Abrahamic religion was actually the prologue to my next video game. Please look forward to it's release on Playstation 420 coming March 2134."
(DIR) Post #2858427 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:17:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg for Hideo so loved the world, he gave his only video game (Otajohn 3:16)
(DIR) Post #2858501 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T08:20:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg 13"You are salt for the earth. But if salt loses its taste, how will it be made salty again?"14 And Snake did say, "Hmmnngngnnnuhhhh, salty?"15 "Yes, salty. Having a strong flavoring of salt."
(DIR) Post #2858531 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:22:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fluxom_alt @distressedegg "And on the third day, the Lord created Alaskan field mice, Snake"
(DIR) Post #2858585 by fluxom_alt@yiff.life
2019-01-11T08:24:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg "Hideo created all things, and all things created by Hideo are Good.""Even the poisonous zanzibar hamsters?""That was the Patriots."
(DIR) Post #2858597 by distressedegg@mellified.men
2019-01-11T08:24:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt i mean, there's nobody i'd rather be in a foxhole with than Him
(DIR) Post #2859021 by Mycroft@meow.social
2019-01-11T08:41:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace @RainierBeringer Anything after 2000 still sounds futuristic to me. Whenever I go back to watch the animated Transformers movie, I rarely catch that the nearly-20-years-into-the-future date of 2005 is thrown out there, and that's ancient history now to most people.It should be memorable to me, as the year I got my first smart phone, and was mobile web browsing, emailing, and IMing.
(DIR) Post #2859063 by spottyfox@vulpine.club
2019-01-11T08:42:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace Oh wow, I remember reading those a million years ago.
(DIR) Post #2860273 by jupiterrising@lewd.town
2019-01-11T09:40:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@BestGirlGrace i can’t believe we’re already at the year marty mcfly went back to the future