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-41-
[Illustration: a woman sitting on a stool and drawing, with a child beneath
her. The woman is saying, "Hey, man...great! I feel goofy, the way my old
man looks when he's drunk!"]
THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH
being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement
and How It was Revealed to
Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, K.S.C.; Bull Goose
of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of
The Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus,
Laughing Buddha Jesus (LBJ) Ranch
[Illustration: a crufix with
a smile nailed to it]
From The Honest Book of Truth
THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter I
1. There came on day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger
of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an
Honest Book.
2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the
Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and,
spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying
in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an
Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of
Nullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and
five nights, but found no Book.
4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to
pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and
bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he
had uncovered on the first day of his labors.
5. Omar slept.
6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance,
and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in
the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove
wherein was hidden a Golden Chest.
7. And the Angel of Eris bade to the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the
Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and,
sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in
the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an
Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit, man?
What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration
of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods
when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better
wages?
9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the
Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five
nights.
10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreamt, and in his
Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a
Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box
containing many filing cards, some of the in packs with rubber bands
around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon
others nothing was written.
11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded the Lord: Take ye this Honest Book
of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth to The Land
and lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach
from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and
repent.