Posts by alice@lgbtqia.space
(DIR) Post #B5i66cIAhLHaaEiCLw by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Okay, graffiti, I'm listening...
(DIR) Post #B5iO60nnsmgLUBMvdg by alice@lgbtqia.space
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👉👈
(DIR) Post #B5q85oRTnDi79LUP2W by alice@lgbtqia.space
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The reality vs the dream:(also, I get daily spam from Sephora now)
(DIR) Post #B5ymbCZJgyNONuMBQO by alice@lgbtqia.space
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On Saturday, I was chatting with this woman I met at the gay bar, and when she asked "what do you do?", I finally got a chance to use the line "I'm a niche internet micro-celebrity".Oddly, she didn't give me her number 🤷🏼♀️
(DIR) Post #B66R2f519Up6u1YKuW by alice@lgbtqia.space
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.Humans? Legendary assholes.Dolphins? Assholes.Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
(DIR) Post #B66R2fdl4Kc2dlo53o by alice@lgbtqia.space
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
(DIR) Post #B6CRy7MdpXMS4yx9EG by alice@lgbtqia.space
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#PSA: #Flirting is like playing #Jenga, and a lot of people don't know how to play Jenga either.If you're not familiar with Jenga, here's my description: Jenga is a *cooperative*, turn-based game, in which you and one or more willing partners attempt to build anticipation until someone gets too flustered and spills the pieces.The win condition is:"How long can we maintain that state *just* before the tower falls—when everyone is on the edge of their seats, leaning in, wide-eyed and holding their breath?"The game is played by taking turns poking around for a good piece and then making a move. Each move raises the stakes *just a little bit*. As tension builds, everyone gets more involved in the game, and when the tower finally topples—regardless of who knocked it over—it should be exciting, fun for everyone, and involve positive aftercare; that's what makes people happy they played with you (and want to play another round).Some mistakes I see people making when they play:- forcing the game; not everyone wants to play with you—respect that.- making "big dick" moves to speed the game up; sure, you *can* make an early goblin move that'll destabilize the tower in the hopes of a quick topple, but if your only goal is to spill blocks, it's better if you just play with yourself at home.- trying to get the other person to lose; there are plenty of sneaky ways to make the other person more likely to knock the tower over—don't use them—folx won't want to play with you.- dragging out your turn because you're too afraid to "lose"; it's not as bad as you fear, and if you knock the tower down, as long as y'all're having fun playing, there's nothing stopping you from picking right back up and starting another round.---Some mistakes I see people making when they flirt (or engage in any social interaction):- forcing the interaction; not everyone is open to that kind of attention—respect that.- making "big dick" moves to speed the game up; sure, you can open with a dick pic or a wolf-whistle, but if your goal is to flirt *at* someone, it's better if you just play with yourself at home.- trying to get the other person to lose; there are plenty of sneaky ways to make the other person more likely to sleep with you—don't use them—that's coercion at best, and quite possibly sexual assault.- dragging out your turn because you're too afraid to "lose"; it's not as bad as you fear. If you're genuine, and playing because you want the *other* person to have fun, then most folx will be flattered you made that effort, even if they're not interested in playing a full round.---"How do I let someone know I want to play with them?"> Try complimenting them on something they *put effort into*—"Those are amazing earrings!""How do I do that without feeling creepy?"> Smile, say it, and disengage. If they're receptive, they'll engage you."How do I know what to say?"> Most people are pretty interesting, and most people who want to be interacted with will put out bids for interaction, so look for cues. Are they wearing a cool t-shirt? Is their hair dyed? Have they smiled at you more than once (and you're not a customer)?"Yeah, but really, how do I know what to say?"> The game is played by taking turns poking around for a good piece and then making a move. Each move raises the stakes *just a little bit*. When they take a turn, they'll often leave an opening just for you. If they don't, they might also be bad a Jenga, or they're not really into playing with you right now."Can you give me examples?"> Sure.You're in line at a grocery store, and there's a cute person in line next to you, so you wait until *one* of you is leaving the line. "Your hair is amazing; I love that color blue 😊", then you go back to what you were doing. If they want to play, they'll say something like "thanks, I just dyed it! 🩵" and then wait for you to take your turn again; if they don't want to play, they might just say "thanks" and disengage. If it's your turn again, you might respond "did you have it professionally done? I've been meaning to redye mine 😅" Now it's their turn to respond.Of course your turns will look different, but each one should take a cue from your partner, and also volunteer a possible move for them to make on their turn."My games keep fizzling out, how do I keep them lively?"> Look for their cues, and leave your own cues for them. Co-op games are about helping your teammates so you can all have the most fun, and *anyone* feels awkward when they don't know what they should do on their turn, so don't leave them hanging."How do I let someone know I'd like to play again sometime?"> Tell them. "I really enjoyed talking to you 😊 and I'd like to do it again if you're interested. Can I give you my Mastodon handle?". If they look confused, just say you're a friend of @alice; that'll probably work.#Dating #Socializing #Anxiety
(DIR) Post #B6CRy7tbqxjTjENTcG by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Credentials: am always somewhere between friendly and flirty, and love giving (and getting) good compliments.Testimonial: Last week I explained this to a nice woman who said she didn't know how to flirt. A couple days later, she texted me that she tried it at a party over the weekend and ended up having sex with someone. (I can't tell you that it had anything to do with my advice, or that your experience will be similar, but it's a thing that happened)
(DIR) Post #B6FUF0297Z8FeKQLAG by alice@lgbtqia.space
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One of the most genuinely attractive traits I see in people is when they seem like they're honestly just happy that I exist.
(DIR) Post #B6FWO6rtHNiVMS6BU0 by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Now I want to make a variant of Jenga that requires players to flirt while they play.There are 54 blocks in a Jenga tower. If you printed an instruction or flirting prompt on each one, you could really make for a weird and interesting party game."Compliment another player's style""Make eye contact with another player until your next turn""Propose a safe-word to the group""Gently decline your next compliment""Keep this block. Place it instead of following another block's prompt"Idk, stuff like that.
(DIR) Post #B6KXlz8wiuQG65pBK4 by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Been making breakfast sandwiches again, and damn are they tasty.Everything bagel stuffed with pesto, egg, spinach, onion, and Swiss cheese 🤤💕
(DIR) Post #B6LehW61fh5VgjEcng by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Self-checkout kiosks should allow tipping.I've done such a good job ringing up all my own groceries that I think I deserve a 20% tip.
(DIR) Post #B6MXQ5GhesNj2UvgJc by alice@lgbtqia.space
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The "smarter" all the devices get, the smarter I feel for not buying them.
(DIR) Post #B6Of9rUGJiQzc5y0fY by alice@lgbtqia.space
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@jasonshaw @Dr_jasonvon, thanks for the follow requests! You two seem to be the same person (judging by your first name and profile photo), so I'll only ask one #CAPTCHAlice question.What was the last thing you cooked for someone else, and how did it turn out?I made apple turnovers last weekend for my two partners. They were scrumptious, but ugly 😋
(DIR) Post #B6R0UVeVBEcZKRMa4u by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Normalize flipping off Flock cams.#FuckFlock #FuckICE
(DIR) Post #B6R0UWQ0KccPhlaW7U by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Why? Because someone is reviewing that footage to look for immigrants, and I want them to hate their job.
(DIR) Post #B6V8U33n3sE6uwK3IO by alice@lgbtqia.space
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"Ellis" is a new one 🤷🏼♀️
(DIR) Post #B6WxCLE04oDqrVN7ia by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Patriarchy hurts everyone.Like, bruh, you can wear colors—you'll still be just as cishet as you were yesterday.
(DIR) Post #B6ZR5gxgFO93BvP5wu by alice@lgbtqia.space
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I was recently at a government office, and noticed they had posted pictures of sex offenders on the wall across from the restrooms, so the public would know who to look out for.
(DIR) Post #B6qWgGXbipY8mkXKr2 by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Hanging out with my girlfriend, making locksport challenge boxes for the upcoming conference next week 😁6 padlocked doors, 6 prize-filled compartments.#AlicePics #Locksport #Lockpicking #DIY