Post B9KkSTatOruF86Fmhk by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
 (DIR) More posts by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
 (DIR) Post #B9JgBwfdRnBZPYNFLc by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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       >be USSR, late 1960s>build MiG-25 Foxbat>actual design requirement: intercept extremely fast American bombers at extremely high altitude>basically a flying surface-to-air missile battery with a cockpit>enormous engines>enormous radar>goes Mach Fuck>turning radius roughly equivalent to the administrative borders of Kazakhstan>made largely of stainless steel because titanium is expensive and Ivan owns a perfectly good welding torch>perfectly adequate for intended job>Americans see blurry photographs of it>INTELLIGENCE ANALYSIS TIME>"Holy shit.">"Twin engines.">"Gigantic wings.">"Mach 3.">"Huge radar.">"The Soviets have clearly invented some kind of super-fighter.">US analysts start filling in every unknown characteristic with the most terrifying answer imaginable>must be incredibly maneuverable>must have incredible range>must have revolutionary materials>must dominate everything we currently fly>entire Pentagon collectively hallucinates fictional MiG-25 in its head>Soviet intelligence notices Americans are terrified of Foxbat>looks at actual Foxbat>looks back at Americans>"yes">"that is exactly what we have built">"please continue believing this">unexpected propaganda victory>capitalists apparently frightened by giant stainless-steel telephone pole with afterburners>nobody in Moscow feels compelled to correct them>US response is completely rational and proportionate>spends enormous resources developing fighter specifically to beat the imaginary Soviet aircraft>result: F-15 Eagle>massive radar>absurd thrust-to-weight ratio>excellent visibility>highly maneuverable>long-range missiles>powerful engines>genuinely enormous upgrade potential>design philosophy basically "what if MiG-25 but every terrifying thing we imagined about it was actually true">Soviets watching development reports>"wait">"comrade, Americans appear to be building counter-Foxbat">"excellent">"no, you misunderstand">"they are building the Foxbat they thought WE built">1976>Viktor Belenko defects to Japan in MiG-25>Americans finally get to dissect one>open panels>stainless steel>vacuum tubes>welds everywhere>engines that can reach ludicrous speeds largely by eating their own lifespan>giant radar powerful enough to interrogate God but technologically rather less magical than expected>airframe optimized for going extremely fast in mostly the same direction>Pentagon engineers staring at it like archaeologists discovering the terrifying dragon skeleton is actually farm equipment>"Wait, this isn't an air-superiority fighter.">"No.">"It can't dogfight an F-15.">"No.">"It can't really dogfight an F-4.">"Not the point.">"Why is it made out of steel?">"Because steel works.">"Why did we think this thing was the final boss?">"You tell us.">Soviets had accidentally pulled history's greatest procurement psyop without actually planning one>problem: joke has now catastrophically backfired>America did not merely discover Foxbat wasn't the monster it feared>America had already built the monster>USSR: possesses specialized high-speed interceptor>USA: possesses F-15>Foxbat propaganda W instantly converts into aerospace L>imagine bluffing that you have Excalibur>enemy becomes terrified>enemy spends ten years forging actual Excalibur>enemy eventually captures your sword>it's a sharpened crowbar>"HAHA! You capitalist fools! You fell for our deception!">F-15 takes off in background>entire Soviet design bureau stops laughing>now have to develop MiG-29 and Su-27 because Americans responded to imaginary Soviet wunderwaffe by making the wunderwaffe real>Cold War procurement was incredible>US intelligence: "the enemy has invented a terrifying machine that does not exist">US aerospace industry: "understood, we'll have one ready shortly">USSR: "THAT WAS NOT THE INTENDED OUTCOME"RT: https://nicecrew.digital/objects/8052a15f-cdbc-44f3-9372-7ed7dd49a6ac
       
 (DIR) Post #B9KkSTatOruF86Fmhk by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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       That was an Israeli F-15, so I presume some kind of emergency ancient jew magic was used to keep the airframe aloft.
       
 (DIR) Post #B9KkeRDq2oLfFTAqmm by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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       I prefer to continue believing the legend because it's funnier.
       
 (DIR) Post #B9KkilU4eYZnFQpbIe by soapone@pone.social
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       @Hoss @weknowwhygary back when engineers actually worked in machine shops and could design things that could be manufactured.
       
 (DIR) Post #B9KonHSe6ZxHOiZWfg by wolf480pl@mstdn.io
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       @Hoss now imagine being an unnamed state in Middle East and bluffing to Iran that you have nukes
       
 (DIR) Post #B9Sz4jXnV1yOE0ccUK by Nesano@nicecrew.digital
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       @Hoss @weknowwhygary Back when America had more White people in it.