Post B8NnUulhFUkvWcXE92 by SK1ZM@nicecrew.digital
(DIR) More posts by SK1ZM@nicecrew.digital
(DIR) Post #B8Nlz4Ptk0MiEDafQW by Owl@shitpost.cloud
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Enjoyed today. Might continue to just do that consistently. Even moving the needle a little bit in a positive direction gives me some kind of genuine fulfilment, it beats numbing and rotting my mind to be useless all day like I normally do. It gets to a point. I don't think it's too late for personhood and me but that's going to mean making a lot of changes in my life and coming to grips with actual shortcomings that I do have. I think the expectation going forward is going to be that what friends that I do claim will see me less and less as I devote my time to develop that personhood.Sorry to blogpost, it's something that's been brewing in my skull.
(DIR) Post #B8Nm0nB2oB3rL8Sod6 by CobaltSasquatch@nicecrew.digital
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I'm going to do something I normally don't do and try to give good advice. There is no such thing as someone so far in the darkness they can't see the light again. No lies here. It will hurt. It won't be easy, but every day you crawl towards the good is a day closer to being able to walk, and then run. You are worthy of happiness as long as you're willing to reach out and grab it
(DIR) Post #B8Nm2NQLWrX02yNQ5Q by Owl@shitpost.cloud
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Thank you. I don't think that I'm so stupid or disconnected in life that I can't make a constant walk back to enjoying it again and making positive outward strides. I think everything up until now has been an expression of something wrong with how I view life and how I let the wheel go and let the car drift wherever it would go, best described as an ugly contempt for myself and moreover people. So I recognize the problem. I have to fix the problem in an effort to make some kind of gains for myself and amends for others.
(DIR) Post #B8Nm5E9oRGTaAx0DOC by CobaltSasquatch@nicecrew.digital
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Its easy to give up. I almost did. I only dug myself out with the help of my friends. Its also OK to say you need help. Its ok to go to someone you trust and say "I just need to talk"
(DIR) Post #B8Nm6hXMgsO1aLioEa by Owl@shitpost.cloud
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It's difficult for me to express what I am actually trying to say but it means a lot to me personally that I can be sincere enough to start saying it. Ultimately I would like to live the life of somebody who would make a positive difference for somebody, somewhere, out there. I can't do that screenrotting or orchestrating being an idiot. I would like to be the kind of person who would need to be spoken to. I can't do this like this. That's all.
(DIR) Post #B8Nm7s3R4aoyUfHRDc by CobaltSasquatch@nicecrew.digital
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You have made a difference. Hell you've talked me off the ledge personally. I don't know if you even remember that. Just because you want to be serious string doesn't mean you can't occasionally enjoy being silly string
(DIR) Post #B8NmByFFzxCQqslSuO by Owl@shitpost.cloud
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I've been silly string for the last five years out of devotion to being an evil retard for lack of better words out of contempt for anybody having a remotely positive existence. I'm glad that I did make a difference for you, that was a moment where I spoke with sincerity and would 100% back what I said and always will. If I could be that positive all the time I could die a happy person, if I could make that difference for many people I wouldn't be so miserable. So I'm going to develop that into the world moving forward. There are people I've done and said things to that I now wish even after a singular day of reflection that I could take back and make up for.Strange that all it took was Teto saying that for me to internalize that he and I are not so different. This is a huge problem and I intend to correct on it for with interest. So it's like I said, just expect to see me here less and less.
(DIR) Post #B8NnUulhFUkvWcXE92 by SK1ZM@nicecrew.digital
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https://youtu.be/6oo5-SRoloM