Post B6JXMDyeknxHPulfqS by tamzin@wikis.world
 (DIR) More posts by tamzin@wikis.world
 (DIR) Post #B6JXMBhvC3NeNQvHU0 by tamzin@wikis.world
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       Not for the first time, and I'm sure not for the last, something on Wikipedia prompts me to remind people: Headcanoning real-life nonbinary people as binary trans, and then demanding others agree with you, is a form of misgendering. And honestly in some ways a nastier form than regular misgendering. Personally I'd rather deal with 100 cis people spamming low-effort "actually a man" comments about me than 1 trans person insisting I'm a binary woman because I remind her of herself and so I must be
       
 (DIR) Post #B6JXMCgtXM9ZQXRyWO by tamzin@wikis.world
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       (This is partly a subtoot, but is about the general case; not everything I said here applies 100% to the scenario that prompted it, which was both less damning in some ways and more damning in others.)
       
 (DIR) Post #B6JXMD4I8Mrub6OezQ by tamzin@wikis.world
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       Ofc, the people doing this often don't think they're doing it. They think they're picking up on cues that the enby is just afraid to say explicitly. They think they're doing the enby a favor.And for sure, there are some times where it's legitimately unclear how someone identifies or how they want to be referred to. The questions to ask yourself are: Am I saying to call them something they don't call themself? And am I saying not to call them something they do call themself?
       
 (DIR) Post #B6JXMDVEWCQ3wf0Az2 by tamzin@wikis.world
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       If you're doing either of those, there's a very good chance you're misgendering someone, even if you're really really sure that deep down they agree with how you're labeling them.What happens if you turn out to be right? Well, the good news is you probably haven't hurt them. That still doesn't vindicate it as an approach, though, any more than it'd be okay to punch people just because you punched one person and they said "Yeah actually I needed that".
       
 (DIR) Post #B6JXMDyeknxHPulfqS by tamzin@wikis.world
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       A less harmful but still not-okay cousin of this is assuming people are binary trans just because they are apparently not cis. There are a lot of historical figures who it seems safe to describe as some kind of gender-diverse, but who some people will say with certainty were binary trans, as if every AFAB today who presents masc is a trans man or every AMAB today who presents fem is a trans woman. Avoiding trans erasure is good! Assuming the binary is not.