Post B5j1TtNH2zuPbwKzxY by mwl@io.mwl.io
 (DIR) More posts by mwl@io.mwl.io
 (DIR) Post #B5ivFJju8oe3JOaddo by mwl@io.mwl.io
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       "Operations Help Desk, can I have your customer number?"
       
 (DIR) Post #B5ivmsM6Sb6GECSVxQ by djfiander@code4lib.social
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       @mwl You answer the phone?
       
 (DIR) Post #B5ivqWtwAWRuqa1j4S by ParadeGrotesque@mastodon.sdf.org
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       @mwl Evil. I like it. My favourite is (works best with a heavy accent): "Russian embassy, how may I help you?"
       
 (DIR) Post #B5iwM1kDXo73TzV2Z6 by jpaskaruk@growers.social
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       @mwl    Thank yoink.
       
 (DIR) Post #B5iwM1uUvaKtzsJFaa by mwl@io.mwl.io
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       @jpaskaruk ha! thank yoink back atcha
       
 (DIR) Post #B5iwTQwUG1enexloum by zeri@chaos.social
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       @mwl you can then end the conversation with "Many tanks to you!" and immediately hang up.
       
 (DIR) Post #B5ixlIjFdLSfLvfAnI by Cadbury_Moose@wandering.shop
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       @mwl In the past I have used:Forces of Evil PLC, how may we assist you?Gnome Central, Junior Gnome speaking, how may I help you?The one that is the current favourite is "Alligator Control", which does seem to distract some of the cold callers, but was what I used when doing Tech Support for $Dayjob on my personal mobile. Ops got used to it. It's now force of habit I'm afraid.
       
 (DIR) Post #B5iyLnmhe9rE5xgNrE by furicle@mastodon.social
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       @mwl 1On the same theory as "if someone asks if you're a god..."
       
 (DIR) Post #B5izSYja6NMPOm0aLQ by eingemaischt@chaos.social
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       @mwl "Feuerwehrleitzentralemünsterlandost?"If you say this as if it is one word - fast and aggressive - 90% of callers hang up immediately.
       
 (DIR) Post #B5j1TtNH2zuPbwKzxY by mwl@io.mwl.io
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       @eingemaischt tbf, anyone answering the phone with that should be speaking very quickly!
       
 (DIR) Post #B5j2Gl0gvyDZrL4kQi by gumnos@bsd.cafe
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       @mwl I've found great benefit in answering as my own answering-service.  "How may I direct your call?  Oh, you'd like to speak with Tim?  Yes, please leave your name, business name, and a good callback number in case he's interested.  If you can't provide a callback number, it generally indicates you're a spammer or scammer and not worth his time."If they're dumb enough to leave an actual callback number ("no, I'm afraid your number isn't showing up on my caller-ID, so I'll need you to provide a callback number"), I can trot off to the FTC Do Not Call page to report a complaint against the number.Most get flustered until they hang up.#CheapEntertainment
       
 (DIR) Post #B5jCIejWF2yEVpaTr6 by erik@mastodon.infrageeks.social
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       @mwl A long time ago, while running their Ottawa call center, I simply couldn’t stop myself from answering phone calls with « Pizza Pizza, may I have your phone number please? » when I was tired