Post B58H5U8NeEUsnWEnx2 by C_J_S@poa.st
(DIR) More posts by C_J_S@poa.st
(DIR) Post #B58CbLeiCsgLzvjcdk by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
6 likes, 9 repeats
>be me >redpilled /ck/ anon who actually knows how to sear a steak without a $47 Sysco seasoning packet >decide it's time to touch grass and go on date #1 with tinder roastie who "loves foodie spots" >she picks some "authentic Italian" place with $28 spaghetti and exposed brick walls >we sit down, she orders the carbonara like it's a personality >waiter drops the plates and i can already smell the Sysco >lean in, whisper like it's /pol/ >"you know we're eating inside the Matrix right now, right?" >she laughs, thinks it's a bit >wrong >i hit her with the redpill: every "fresh" ingredient in this building came off the same Sysco truck that supplies Applebee's and prison kitchens >pre-portioned frozen gnocchi, "house-made" marinara that's just reheated bag sauce, even the "imported" parm is powdered Sysco dust >she's blinking like a deer in headlights >i keep going, full schizo mode >"the entire restaurant industry is one big LARP, babe. the chef? he's just a Sysco janitor with a better knife roll. they pay him to pretend he doesn't have 47 identical bags of 'chef's choice' demi-glace in the walk-in" >her fork stops halfway to her mouth >i'm on a roll now, telling her about the Sysco Matrix™ where the bluepilled cattle pay premium to eat the exact same industrial slop as a hospital cafeteria but with worse lighting and a $14 cocktail that came out of a bag too >she starts checking her phone under the table >date ends with her "suddenly remembering" she has an early meeting >ghosted before i even get the check >mfw >fast forward two weeks >new girl, seems cooler, says she "cooks" (her highlight is airfryer nuggets) >she suggests sushi >i'm already sweating >we get there, beautiful omakase counter, $180 a head >i last 12 minutes before the dam breaks >"you realize the 'wild caught' salmon is Sysco farm-raised garbage injected with dye, right? the rice is probably from a 50lb bag labeled 'sushi rice' that tastes like wet cardboard" >start drawing the supply chain on a napkin like it's the JFK assassination board >driver → Sysco warehouse → "sous chef" who just thaws and plates → you, paying $22 for a piece of fish that used to be roommates with a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish >she's giving me the exact same wide-eyed stare as date #1 >whispers "are you okay?" >i tell her the truth: the only way to escape the Matrix is to cook everything yourself, from scratch, like our ancestors before the Sysco overlords enslaved us with their 40% margins and frozen lobster tails >she excuses herself to the bathroom >never comes back >waiter brings me the bill and a pitying look >third date >i swear i'm not gonna do it this time >she picks a "farm to table" spot >literally the final boss of Sysco LARPing >menu has "local heirloom" everything >i hold it together for 45 whole minutes >then the waiter says "our chef sources directly from..." >brain short circuits >i slam my water glass down like it's /ck/ rant hour >"BROTHER THEY SOURCE DIRECTLY FROM THE SYSKO TRUCK PARKED BEHIND THE DUMPSTER AT 3AM" >start naming SKUs from memory >date #3 is now actively backing her chair away from the table >i'm full conspiracy autist, telling her how even the "house bread" is Sysco parbaked rolls they just throw in the oven and pretend >she leaves mid-sentence >sends me a text from the Uber: "you're actually insane please lose my number" >now i just cook ribeyes at home and eat alone like God intended >bluepilled cattle still out there dropping $300 on Sysco slop thinking they're cultured >tfw the only thing spooked more than my dates is my tinder match rate >stay redpilled, kings >never dine inside the MatrixRT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/9a2933da-a16d-454b-b7f6-a4f074d3647e
(DIR) Post #B58DNCAqlKjcUVaAW8 by D00B@clew.lol
2 likes, 1 repeats
@Hoss Family member was an applebees general manager. He gave me a list of all the sysco places. I literally have seen the back of 80% of all the kitchens in the area, it's all sysco all the way down. There's actually 1 or 2 that aren't. I eat there. It's expensive but I don't go out much.
(DIR) Post #B58Es9Gni2liPpgnOi by captainslow@poa.st
0 likes, 0 repeats
its not a contest. Just try to enjoy yourself. It isn’t inedible.
(DIR) Post #B58Es9Vgogg7A0egbY by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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>its not a contest. Just try to enjoy yourself. It isn’t inedible.
(DIR) Post #B58EuKz77pQhKMSai8 by Eiswald@poa.st
1 likes, 0 repeats
tbf my farm had a farm-to-table deal with a 4 star for several years and I can, as the the owner of my company, personally attest to the fact that I've sent workers with loads of food straight from my local storage on fulfilment runs to those establishmentsMy only gripe is that those chef niggers are touch and go with paying me in a timely manner and need to be harassed sometimes.
(DIR) Post #B58EuLVjAZW8xVidXs by Paultron@shin.mugicha.club
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@Eiswald @Hoss well yeah kitchen staff in any semi respectable joint are all substance abusers at minimum
(DIR) Post #B58F2COSx04l014DL6 by TyggBiddies@clew.lol
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@Hoss this is completely plausible and the worse part is that Sysco already adjusted their God defiant products to foids pallates so they always go back to slopperies like moths chasing a lightbulb. Also, procure sex before sperg.
(DIR) Post #B58FCXh4c0pZxLhcps by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
2 likes, 1 repeats
Can you even run a professional kitchen without at least 20% of the staff having a coke habit?
(DIR) Post #B58FGKZlKHcEQj5bZA by captainslow@poa.st
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You actually get a steak when you eat with him
(DIR) Post #B58FGvalhVPBEYqQls by DMA@nicecrew.digital
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Yup
(DIR) Post #B58FYyAYrCKeRKBnmK by Orkin_Awk@poa.st
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Why IS that? Is it the job itself or the people it attracts
(DIR) Post #B58FZZ4pdSjYuGnFU8 by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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Yes.
(DIR) Post #B58FgmU8BPZQWB4GTg by D00B@clew.lol
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@Hoss I went to a pizza place and their sauce is just canned sauce from some shitty company, went to a steakhouse their "homemade desserts" are just shit they get from walmart and put some shit on top of it. Went to a mexican place and they had dead animals in the ceiling and grease all over the whole kitchen you couldn't even walk in there.
(DIR) Post #B58Fn3DwrQlMAdUKlE by SK1ZM@nicecrew.digital
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You're never going to believe who owns and operates most of the private prisons in America :epic_a:
(DIR) Post #B58Fx4vhNFkKM9jXfc by D00B@clew.lol
0 likes, 0 repeats
@SK1ZM @Hoss I know
(DIR) Post #B58Fz7RyyORAklo6U4 by RustyCrab@clubcyberia.co
0 likes, 2 repeats
@Hoss me, a normal guy: greetings foid, would you care to consume syscoslop
(DIR) Post #B58G4ExUU8zrUHzF6e by RustyCrab@clubcyberia.co
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Hoss @Eiswald @Orkin_Awk @Paultron as somebody who worked at a restaurant, yes
(DIR) Post #B58G97oQTwmclv4mXo by RustyCrab@clubcyberia.co
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@D00B @SK1ZM @Hoss sysco?
(DIR) Post #B58GV1sdDb2ykDUJdY by VaxxSabbath@detroitriotcity.com
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@Hoss where my boy @Escoffier at
(DIR) Post #B58GswwpCyZeOfr6Z6 by tyler@nicecrew.digital
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I think you helped me slaughter this guy
(DIR) Post #B58GtlQJXbs6wc2MTI by Jonny@annihilation.social
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@SK1ZM @D00B @Hoss Its the jews.
(DIR) Post #B58H5U8NeEUsnWEnx2 by C_J_S@poa.st
0 likes, 2 repeats
>lol how the fuck would it even happen that all restaurants in the future are one slop chain?
(DIR) Post #B58HuPnJXi4g6gfZYW by SuperSnekFriend@poa.st
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@Hoss Absolute gold! Absolute wew!cc: @GreatFediPosts
(DIR) Post #B58I8u8HXiQGFlNzua by db@nicecrew.digital
0 likes, 1 repeats
theres a particular scent to the cheap cooking oil they sell. i smell it in a lot of kitchens. i don't likd that smell in my food.
(DIR) Post #B58IsEUQhZn8QBMMYi by SarahGation@nicecrew.digital
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It's like looking into my soul. Fuck sysco and us foods 😤
(DIR) Post #B58JDEhZ6pvN9xWEnQ by Jewpacabra@poa.st
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you’re a fuckin king lol
(DIR) Post #B58JGeRbr57zrrgUMK by binkle@clubcyberia.co
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@Hoss b-but my favorite restaurant isn't like that..right anon
(DIR) Post #B58JLjkHZaERkzqLhI by Hoss@shitpost.cloud
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Ask yourself if you want to go down a rabbit hole that might end with Sysco trucks parked outside your house when you learn too much.
(DIR) Post #B58K60792wdRqQb6Vk by cjd@pkteerium.xyz
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> Long pork on special this week
(DIR) Post #B58K9JbN35cX9XJdaK by monkey@greatape.casa
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@binkle @Hoss your favorite restaurant is syscos top customer in this country you fucking tasteless foid
(DIR) Post #B58KkwObmAdiBYHt5s by buttered_poasties@poa.st
0 likes, 1 repeats
don't tell me the Tinder roastied beef is from Sysco too.
(DIR) Post #B58Knlb4NnabYsSoJU by Dagnar@nicecrew.digital
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This is a legendary post!
(DIR) Post #B58LIUrwcu0Oes0gb2 by MeBigbrain@poa.st
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Long-ass post, you have to dig deep but its gem
(DIR) Post #B58dMAYNtoVZz4lI1I by Jonny@annihilation.social
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hoss @Eiswald @Paultron The coke/meth habit is caused by asshole kitchen managers who fuck with the schedule all the time so that nobody can get on a sleep rythm.
(DIR) Post #B59XzMeQRxJ2ELqzwG by Mammal@shitposter.world
0 likes, 1 repeats
@Hoss @captainslow tell me mr anderson, what good is a mouth... if you are no longer able to eat goyslop?
(DIR) Post #B59Y3dahPSmdvX9GQC by Paultron@shin.mugicha.club
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@binkle @Hoss sysco has tiers, a lot of em actuallyAnd if your joint buys the good stuff from Sysco it's p good
(DIR) Post #B59Y3dmkgeQOWumtCy by HonkHonkBoom@poa.st
1 likes, 0 repeats
Eh, their 'premium' stuff rides down in quality continually from the time sysco acquires them until it's really not much different than the lower tier.. they're kinda like the microsoft of food service..
(DIR) Post #B59Y5BjXxAu06m1gXY by meso@new.asbestos.cafe
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@Hoss chad who cooks at home:
(DIR) Post #B59Y6Yt3M60oCs7yeu by HonkHonkBoom@poa.st
1 likes, 0 repeats
Got a chef buddy that's just about there, can peg a Sysco slop house before he's even through the door.. We got at least 3 that use real food in town, but, the one place in town I've found that doesn't use them and i can afford sometimes uses cheap garlic powder , everything else is top notch, maybe i'll bring some good granulated garlic for um next time i go.. ..
(DIR) Post #B59fro6VIQOWgstWXQ by porkcow@shitposter.world
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@Hoss I'm saving this one
(DIR) Post #B59n09C5T1Je61QjHk by vokainen099@cawfee.club
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@Hoss Perfectly plausible, except for the part of getting three tinder dates in a row, still 11/10, saved :apubeats: :apunotes:
(DIR) Post #B5D1ieK54bZADOABU0 by DNutzinski@poa.st
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I am 'holier than thou', but thank the Good Lord I source all my veggies from local (IRL) farmers and my meat from as close as I can get to actual farms/ranches.THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.You can TASTE it.You can FEEL it.#FuckGloboHomo#FuckCicso#FuckJFC
(DIR) Post #B5D1kU1wJOn8s8YJ28 by TeaTootler@poa.st
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this story is fake, no one gets tinder matches
(DIR) Post #B5D1l7fIwyS9nWGnJ2 by desiops@noauthority.social
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@Hoss my hotel is a US foods dining establishment, get it right!
(DIR) Post #B5D1mRNl818pEqgwLI by desiops@noauthority.social
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@C_J_S @Hoss This movie keeps getting better with age. so glade i still have the movie poster framed
(DIR) Post #B5D1mv7UZ3xFT5JN9U by DNutzinski@poa.st
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Between this and Idiocracy, its like a God-damned playbook/manual.#IHateGloboHomoClownWorld