Post B55fcKmfFQOamROg5o by rbphotographic@mastodon.world
(DIR) More posts by rbphotographic@mastodon.world
(DIR) Post #B528yYcGcWdu5cdw4O by alice@lgbtqia.space
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Car just drove by and one of the guys in it made the šš
gesture out the window at me.Not sure if it was an observation based on my aesthetic, or the threat of a š°good timeš°, but either way...guys, this is why y'all're still single.
(DIR) Post #B55fcKmfFQOamROg5o by rbphotographic@mastodon.world
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@alice I never realised how bad it was for women until my wife had me follow her at a discreet distance while she was jogging on her own. I learnt why she only went jogging with me and that many men should not be allowed out into the world with supervision.
(DIR) Post #B55fcL1YM4IzWcMZIe by blainsmith@fosstodon.org
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@rbphotographic @alice Same for my wife and I. There are certain gas stations she avoids because of where they are and the type of men who frequent them. We also always go food shopping together or I go by myself because she ALWAYS has something happen.
(DIR) Post #B55fcLH9Q4mYIzf1c0 by irene@discuss.systems
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@blainsmith @rbphotographic @alice I stopped grocery shopping. I hated it. I figure skate for exercise because itās mostly women and gay men at the rink. I spend so much time with (mostly well behaved but oblivious) men at work that I mostly go to women-centered spaces now, especially if itās on my own.
(DIR) Post #B55fcLTueczSwZdDVI by Colman@mastodon.ie
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@irene @blainsmith @rbphotographic @alice theyāll bother you in a grocery shop? Regularly?
(DIR) Post #B55fcLfbx8LdWr6Yjo by blainsmith@fosstodon.org
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@Colman @irene @rbphotographic @alice My wife has told me she's experienced:- Long uncomfortable stares- Whistling- Being followed around the store- Random comments under their breadth All of which were different men every time and she knows to just call me and I will answer to just be on the phone.
(DIR) Post #B55fcLrfEJzO8EkBWa by irene@discuss.systems
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@blainsmith @Colman @rbphotographic @alice when I was pretty young (15 or 16), my mom would send me to the store. Once a man blocked me between his car and mine and tried to get me to go home and have sex with him for money in the grocery store parking lot. Catcalls were common when I was younger and lived in the Midwest or Boston. In Seattle, I had someone ask me out in the pasta aisle. If itās hot and I wear a dress people will make creepy (but probably what they think are complimentary) comments. My 60-ish year old neighbor made a point of interrupting me and commenting when I was washing my car on my driveway in a tennis dress.
(DIR) Post #B55fcM6uJeBMtVsMHg by Colman@mastodon.ie
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@irene @blainsmith @rbphotographic @alice and here I am trying to figure out non-creepy ways of complimenting my younger but adult ballerina colleagues on their dancing.
(DIR) Post #B55fcMM9OyNLen0X2m by alice@lgbtqia.space
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@Colman "you are impressively talented", "you are an amazing dancer", "I'm humbled to share a stage with someone who puts in so much effort".Say it lightly, around other people, and then continue whatever else you were doing and let them decide whether or how to take your compliment. If they chase you up to say thanks, then you did good. If they don't, then you said something kind and that's all there is to it.I hear a lot of guys saying things like "I don't know how to compliment a woman", and my best answer is that you do it without expecting anything in return. Most people can tell when a compliment is genuine and when it's manipulative.@irene @blainsmith @rbphotographic
(DIR) Post #B55fcMb2VcHkOxyQFc by negative12dollarbill@techhub.social
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@alice @Colman @irene @blainsmith @rbphotographic As an older guy who works with a lot of younger women, if I ever give them a compliment it is a completely neutral phrase like "you look amazing". No implication of attraction involved. "You look great" seems safe. What do you think?
(DIR) Post #B55fcMoVhX3p4kHBFQ by irene@discuss.systems
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@negative12dollarbill @alice @Colman @blainsmith @rbphotographic itās better to compliment them on their work. Women are so use to being objectified and only there to be looked at that they sometimes want to not be looked at and judged on their appearance. Iām not speaking for all women but for me at least, I donāt think of how I look at work at all. It can be jarring to be reminded of it when Iām at work, I think of myself as a sort of formless blob talking about operating systems. You might think itās a compliment but it might be difficult for the women to have to stop their work and think about how to respond. I might recommend you read this blog post that I wrote for more insights. https://irenezhang.com/blog/2024/07/24/misogyny.html
(DIR) Post #B55fcOgmjE4MtMg2U4 by irene@discuss.systems
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@blainsmith @Colman @rbphotographic @alice I get hot easily but I canāt wear clothing that is too āskimpyā and of course thereās the classic being sent home from school because your tank top is ādistractingā the boys. Note that our school didnāt have AC ..
(DIR) Post #B55fcPiEvIpM4AMiOG by irene@discuss.systems
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@blainsmith @Colman @rbphotographic @alice also note that Iām going to be 40 this week so that is 25 years of dealing with this.