[HN Gopher] Investigating How Long-Distance Couples Use Digital ...
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       Investigating How Long-Distance Couples Use Digital Games to
       Facilitate Intimacy
        
       Author : radeeyate
       Score  : 41 points
       Date   : 2026-04-12 16:17 UTC (6 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (arxiv.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (arxiv.org)
        
       | nozzlegear wrote:
       | I met my wife playing World of Warcraft some 16 years ago. She
       | played a protection paladin, and I was a restoration shaman who
       | was pretty new to doing group content. She had been looking for a
       | healer for a heroic dungeon she and her friends were about to do,
       | and I messaged her. We all got on really well, and three of us
       | (myself, my wife, and one friend from that original group of
       | five) still play WoW to this day.
       | 
       | It can be mind boggling to think how different my life would've
       | been if I had been on a different server at that time; if I
       | didn't play a healer; if I'd been an Alliance character instead
       | of Horde; or if I hadn't been reading trade chat or just plain
       | hadn't been online at that moment. Lots of variables had to be in
       | place for us to meet.
        
         | winterbloom wrote:
         | i mean that would apply to meeting your SO in real life too,
         | that's just how life works
        
           | bombcar wrote:
           | And some are big "had to happen" (right college choice, wrong
           | WoW faction choice, etc) and others are "the specific had to
           | happen but would have eventually" - if you're both playing
           | horde on the same campus you'd eventually meet in game or
           | IRL, for example.
        
           | wavemode wrote:
           | Well, sometimes. A lot of people just marry someone they went
           | to school with, or worked with, or who was in their friend
           | group or local community. It was simply a matter of deciding
           | to pull the trigger.
           | 
           | Obviously there's still the narrow margin of "living in the
           | same place at the same time", but that margin is much wider
           | than "be in this exact game server at this exact time of day
           | on this exact day".
        
             | BobbyJo wrote:
             | The margin is wider but the number is smaller. You can be
             | on a hundred different game servers at various times, but
             | you're only born and grow up in an area once.
        
       | sxp wrote:
       | The interviews in section 4 are particularly informative for
       | people trying to start a long distance relationship and want to
       | determine compatibility with their partner. The items also apply
       | to in-person romantic interactions, but multiplayer video games
       | offer structure.                 - Games also provide couples
       | with "constant opportunit[ies] to come up with new silly things"
       | (C9A), primarily inside jokes and topics of conversation that
       | they discuss outside of their time spent playing together
       | - "I take competitive games pretty lightheartedly, so it's not as
       | if I get upset or anything. I think it's funny when I die. I
       | think it's funny when he dies. I think it's funny when we trade
       | and we both kill each other. It's a nice playful feeling to have
       | a one-up over him or jokingly having beef with each other."
       | - when asked as to the value C6 derives from menial in-game tasks
       | such as raids versus the value of open-world exploration, C6B
       | used the analogy, "It's like doing chores [together] versus going
       | on a date."
        
       | shad0wca7 wrote:
       | I credit ESO for helping with my LDR over 7 years. Time on the
       | phone wouldn't have been the same. With games you are doing
       | things together and sharing experiences.
       | 
       | It is quality time in a reduced quality world.
        
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       (page generated 2026-04-12 23:00 UTC)