Posts by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
(DIR) Post #9z1eFfTdnoFZic8TB2 by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2020-09-10T16:44:29Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
sometimes I say I'm only words.when I was little, I lived in a microtown with a population under one hundred. literally everybody knew of everyone else. not even a store; just a nearby town we could get stuff from the oldest lady in the town was so nice. my parents had her babysit me, until --well, I don't remember getting a real answer. just that it wasn't safe. she was nice. we played board games.she died a few years later. I was inconsolable.some twenty five years after, I was experiencing acute, excruciating gallbladder attacks due to long term use of a medication that wasn't properly tested. (ranitidine. don't take it, if you can possibly avoid it.)I got severe jaundice. even with my color vision defect, I could see it.unusual bilious urine. bilious vomiting followed.that seemed bad but my fear of surgery kept me home. pain is my life. pain is my existence.so I started eating endless salads. couldn't think of another way to try to fix my gallbladder without surgery.I lost weight. rapidly.went from a 3x to an XL, and that's as detailed as I want to get. I added meat to the salads for protein.and then something worse happened.fast forward a couple years. my wife is at a work conference.one thing led to another, and I completely forgot to eat anything but fiber cookies for about two straight days.I was having a lot of problems I wrote off as stress.I was wrong.the first time I got meat and eggs in me, things... cleared. mentally and physically.pieces fell into place.smells.the oldest lady in the town had a house full of mothballs.and that's about the time I was gaining weight due to depression and anxiety.fat soluble poisons accumulate in fat cells.I was getting naphthalene poisoning, along with whatever else is wrong with me. excitement, nervousness, confusion, memory issues, dizziness.all fit. and the fact she died a few years later, when I believe she... lost weight! ha ha.fuck.previous trips had been to places where I wasn't horrendously intimidated by everything about the hotel and we weren't out of all delivery radiuses.I had eaten nothing but fiber and a bit of sugar, and my body was quite unhappy.this isn't even the last part.I forget to eat.it's self-care. self-care is just about the hardest thing for me to accomplish.so every now and then I wake up to find all my joints hurt (partially because xanax levels are low but the naphthalene aggravates it), my stomach is screaming, I'll spew up bile now and then.y'know.just how life in the United States is.you get to be your own doctor and hope you don't kill yourself.logically, I'd have my gallbladder out. logically. except who the fuck knows what's going on inside me.I have frothy urine occasionally. probably fine, lol.I'm adding low amounts of alcohol to my diet again -- beer, not what I like but less sugar than jack and coke. naphthalene is alcohol soluble.surgery might just fucking kill me anyway at this point.and logic is relative.I guess I'm worried that I'm at the end of things now, that in a few months or years this ramshackle goldberg machine of an internal organ system will simply fall apart.if this is the last story I ever get to properly tell, I might as well do it, right?after all, I'm only words. oh, and I can smile through and/or psychologically suppress pain that leaves other people screaming at the hospital.no big deal, just another life.I'm going to explain all this to my doctor (WHO DOES NOT KNOW ANY OF THIS EXCEPT THAT I'M ON XANAX, HA HA HA NOT EVEN KIDDING), and we'll see how things go.wish a girl luck when she's about to make a mistake. ^_^
(DIR) Post #A0rzl2PZK4dc5yQvuy by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2020-11-04T23:31:30Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Announcing A NEW United States Political Party!The Tax/Income Publishing Party!Our lone goal is to get federal legislation requiring the publicising of all levels of citizens' finances, claiming the information falls under eminent domain. We hope to eventually create a global party to make financial processes and players as transparent as possible!We have no idea what this will cause!Join Us!
(DIR) Post #A1s3mxeXXEDzihjkeG by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2020-12-04T20:29:03Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@natecull @jk Cheerfeldfriendsier, as USian television is that age is known in the Germany
(DIR) Post #A1soNSLXUSO5ENBp2W by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2020-12-05T06:53:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@tek @koherecoWatchdog fingers crossed
(DIR) Post #A1wvLlvxAdhHiDCpMm by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2020-12-03T16:28:21Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@jk HENLO, WINTWERMOOT
(DIR) Post #A3FT2z33zmDO7XeIoi by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-01-15T02:29:06Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
why have a gender binarywhen you could havea gender library
(DIR) Post #A40RxdXvQdLPdnR3OC by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-02-06T06:14:16Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@silverspookgames if this is turning into Shadowrun I damn well better get to be an ork
(DIR) Post #A4KllWlPrve6IDhGbI by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-02-16T08:03:23Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
"borough" is the elizabethan era spellnunciation of 'bro'
(DIR) Post #A4LYFcskTu3bkuXomW by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-02-16T08:18:41Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@vantablack why no "yes" option?
(DIR) Post #A4LYFe0EJZdTEP3J56 by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-02-16T08:25:47Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@vantablack the trick is daisy chaining them, which is in no way technically against the rules and I will therefore abuse the hell out of it once, today
(DIR) Post #A9zDumEZ4gYAeHNdy4 by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2021-08-04T16:02:32Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
SaaS: Screams as a Service
(DIR) Post #ALrUNjIfSVEy1g0evI by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-07-25T20:54:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@web3isgreat (at this rate Shkreli is gonna run in 2024 š¤® )
(DIR) Post #AP3k6aAXmyfwgiX8QS by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-10-29T10:04:45Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@aral (arguably itās worth telling new folks from Twitter that the whole internet itself isnāt terribly secure; they were being reassured by delusional business predators, thatās all! š)
(DIR) Post #AP8UKul9P6ct7sGeyO by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-10-31T19:22:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@james I enjoy greatly that the phrase āfuck Elonā has become so very quotable
(DIR) Post #APuBtdApYb74cMSfPE by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-11-23T19:41:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@john why the hell would I care that the fed is being partially hollowed into a tunnel for desperate corporate overlords to advertise to people fleeing advertising?(rhetorical. not looking for discussion. just gonna delete upon engagement)
(DIR) Post #APuCs2GfO1zjowzhwG by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-11-23T19:51:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@john the most exciting thing for me about masto was the lack of corporations. the idea of talking to people, not influencers and important people.Iām glad youāre important people and enjoy it. I am not and want nothing to do with people who are any longer.be well, but we donāt need to talk.
(DIR) Post #AQom0unSuUewVJ3qYy by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2022-12-21T00:48:20Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
itās called an instance because it is your fighting stance for internetdome. find a weapon
(DIR) Post #ARojxXFiMoTRqAiowi by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2023-01-20T00:19:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts ants donāt have to overthrow those they already rule. politicians are just ant colonies in suits, like how corporations are ant colonies inside buildings
(DIR) Post #AYVBlUsV9Wo1LMtZk8 by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2023-08-07T07:16:53Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@prettygood NP, just please donāt eventually become a nazi or other horrid shit. thx
(DIR) Post #AibNOasEUK2yfVbSSW by sydneyfalk@elekk.xyz
2019-06-20T13:42:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@noelle @gaditbshould have used emoji, they always help