Posts by VyrCossont@cybre.space
(DIR) Post #9nkmwh6P2NFpT9z7q4 by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T15:32:20Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
protesting with a sign saying:GOD MADE LILITH AND EVEadam was just a mockup
(DIR) Post #9nl2Ahhz4xd4iRhZ8i by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T16:59:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
some guy at work: hey! IT said you'd be a great person to drive engineering participation in our Stack Overflow for Teams internal pilot!me: *cleaning fingernails with a Bowie knife* did they now
(DIR) Post #9nl2Ai4JjvUfpi9Owy by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T17:03:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
yes i would like to add to my workflow another fucking thing to check after email, Slack, Confluence (worst wiki ever), and Google Drive (worst search ever, maybe worst search _possible_)i swear to god, you can slap SAML support on any Web 2.0 horror and sell it for a hundred bucks per month per userMastodon for Teams when
(DIR) Post #9nl2AiZrqcjNPYub7w by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T17:07:37Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
pitch me bad consumer apps that would be infinitely worse at work!• Instagram for Teams• Snapchat for Teams (thankfully SOX probably blocks this for a lot of companies)• TikTok Enterprise
(DIR) Post #9nlU7hA1SMzorgAbRo by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T23:23:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"hey Vyr you coming for beers?""nope.""was that a yep?""no.""why not?""don't feel like it.""why?""don't like drinking, don't like noise.""well we can fix one of those!""doubt it."so the team's new PM just made my shit list and i had pretty much that entire conversation while both trying to avoid eye contact and noticing that i was trying to avoid eye contact but not really caring to do anything about itcan't believe i ever thought i wasn't autistic
(DIR) Post #9nlU7hqCvWjwyVuICW by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-09T23:27:03Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
nobody at work really needs to know anything other than i'm not going on this team thing that involves booze and noise because i don't wanna gothe backstory fucking blows and they're not entitled to know it and i don't want to talk about it, but my other coworkers don't fucking *pry* 🙄
(DIR) Post #9nmPBEaPKfMomwL7IG by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T01:17:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
okay Mastodon is there an easy way to find out what my _second_ most famous toot washashtag #mastodev
(DIR) Post #9nmPBFwQIIZUzVeDFQ by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T01:24:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@andi @porsupah not sure, lemme dig up my 2FA device and a real computer and i'll have a look…
(DIR) Post #9nmPBHrX9RqgwvNKu8 by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T01:31:56Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@andi @porsupah i suspected as much. the API it is, then 🥳this kind of question is why i really need to get back on my own instance before i make any more good tootsi hear 3.x still requires nonsense like a secondary ES server to be much use… but otoh, "it's not Pleroma" is now a selling point for me 😒
(DIR) Post #9nmPBKjUToCJqqdSHg by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T02:04:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@andi @porsupah @mastohost honestly i don't see why Mastodon doesn't use PG for full-text search. it works for Pleroma, it works for every company that can afford to google "postgres gin index", the *real* scaling limit for most Mastodon instances appears to be how fast you run out of disk space for the entire internet's porn…also the `tsvector` and `tsquery` types have a certain retro 2000s appeal, given the subject matter of many Fedi posts 🙃
(DIR) Post #9nmPBLjWl9oyxFezyq by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T02:06:46Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@andi @porsupah @mastohost we use open-source ES at work and it's constantly on fire. absolutely not even close to usable for multitenant operations even when the multiple tenants are different teams at the same company.
(DIR) Post #9nn1ktAwD99p4Dr3w0 by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-10-10T16:19:46Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
God, twirling around, showing off Their first marsupial: do you like it?choir of angels: oooh, cute mammal!God: thanks!God: it has pockets :3
(DIR) Post #9tPs7VwgUqxY5tNfgO by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T21:23:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
of course when you get there, she doesn't have her keys, her ID, or her phone, and the night security guy doesn't know her, and it's a whole thingso you drive back home and you can't find the air mattress, so you pile a few couch cushions in the circle before the contingency clause expires so she has something to sleep onin the morning you drive her to her place again, on a secondary contingency clause that's even shorter, and day security lets her in and she gets her glasses, so you go home
(DIR) Post #9tPs7WUMTdtjmL8ZAu by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T21:32:30Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
and she gets back in the circle before flames of banishment start leaking out of crevices in the walls, glasses on this time, still wearing pajamas and honestly at least half asleepyou get the contract and the blood pen outshe's like "okay so what did you even want again"and you can't remembereventually you negotiate a full minute of unbearable infernal ecstasy in exchange for breakfast at Denny'swhen the deeds are done and you dismiss her, you realize she's still got your flip-flops
(DIR) Post #9tPsAtYVAiOUBhgK92 by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T21:47:23Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
the next week she leaves you a voice mail, you don't even know how she got your number, and she's like, "look, you seem nice and i need the practice, how about you summon me again, i'll teach you seven hellish sex tips to blow your partner's mind and you can, idk, would you mind watching my cat for the weekend, i've got a thing"when you're over at her place that weekend, you notice she has one of your jackets… and your DS is still in the pocket
(DIR) Post #9tPsCenqzYRL0shchs by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T21:56:52Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
you manage to find the right page in your ink- and blood-stained bootleg copy of the Extended Key of Solomon to summon an entity that might be her regent, or liege, or supervisoryou've never seen an expression as exasperated as the one on the sharply dressed demon lady in the blazer and librarian glasses in your triple-reinforced amethyst and iron circle"I'm really sorry. We've had some complaints about Alexis,"
(DIR) Post #9tPsTSHcnFnX6fdb8a by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T22:04:33Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
and then she smiles in a way that doesn't reach her eyes, only her mouth, showing far too many fangs, "but unfortunately, we can only give you infernal credit. And with summer vacation, our resources are a bit thin at the moment."she vanishes in a magnesium-bright blast of hellfirewhen your vision returns, the other figure in the circle looks sheepish. and regrettably familiar.
(DIR) Post #9tPsUb7TQSrgnkQzfk by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-09-02T22:06:08Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
"so, hi again," she says. "what would you say to unlimited inhuman pleasures for the next month?""not without an actual contract," you say. "i know there has to be some exchange of value, or my soul could be forfeit.""ok cool. wanna teach me to play this bass?"and of courseit's your friggin' bass.*the end*
(DIR) Post #A4ZQhfNohFsOCVNJ8C by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-12-15T16:35:28Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
i have to re-authenticate every time i want to pet my own friggin' cat?!
(DIR) Post #A4ZQhh3KUOg1NXnyTY by VyrCossont@cybre.space
2019-12-15T17:06:41Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
update: the cat stole my credentials and now she has authenticated physical access and is reading my diarybe careful out there! do not fall for this scam!