Posts by Unixbigot@aus.social
(DIR) Post #B1jMjDW62j3doeX6Qa by Unixbigot@aus.social
2025-12-29T01:10:26Z
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When I was a kid I saw a one-person speedboat at a boat show, it was so tiny and sleek. I dreamed of someday living on a riverbank and being able to speedboat to work. Years later I recalled this and looked them up, wondering how much they cost; I was saddened to learn the maker had long since gone out of business, after fashion shifted to motorcycle-type jetskis. Having said all that, I totally get this mania for commuter quadcopters, I would have been drooling over them in my youth, too. Look there goes another one, you really should get one of these forcefield umbrellas. Oh dear, that’s not gonna buff out, here, get under this with me, I’ll walk you to work.#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot
(DIR) Post #B1jMjF22PSCaW0U7qy by Unixbigot@aus.social
2025-12-29T01:19:53Z
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Meta: true story about the speedboat, “Addictor Quarter-Pounder” https://www.junkyardmob.com/boats/addictor-boats/
(DIR) Post #B1o48I71AQsByAqRt2 by Unixbigot@aus.social
2025-12-31T00:26:05Z
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I didn’t have “time travel” anywhere near the top of my “next grift after AI” list. The chronomigration bubble came out of a confluence of developments; gamma ray telescopes sensitive to the 500 keV electron-positron annihilation energy allowed us to spot the inbound antimatter comet 67i/Fermi as soon as it began interacting with the solar wind. Gravity tugs brought 67i to lunar orbit, where laser ablation was used to direct a stream of antimatter dust onto fuel pellets (just moon rocks, in fact). The plume of energy liberated by quantum annihilation acted as a giant rocket motor, slightly perturbing the moon’s orbit in such a way to tug the earth farther enough away from the sun to cool the climate. It will take four hundred centuries, which is where the time travel (also facilitated by the matter/antimatter energy fountain) comes in. If you can afford the fare, you can deposit one dollar in a savings account, blip out of our climate ravaged world and arrive rich in the clean, comfortable future. No, you cannot deduct the cost from your future fortune, it doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t work at all. The kind of person who would take this offer can’t be expected to know the difference between a time portal and a disintegration field. And they just won’t believe you when you warn them.#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot
(DIR) Post #B1pZ1bWXt7CJss2KtE by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-01T05:07:45Z
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@futurebird it’s like that old lawyer joke “how do you start a fever?”. (headpats to all who are sick or caring for)
(DIR) Post #B1xJI1AWGUTM3EDakq by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-04T08:09:41Z
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Consider: Heineken 0% over ice with fresh lime juice.
(DIR) Post #B21OwUyko0WpXrzcI4 by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-06T21:58:09Z
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Time travel into the past is—I’m sorry—impossible. Time travel into the future, well; I’ll tell you tomorrow. Kidding! Okay, consider this: there are a thousand pyramids in Egypt, but zero intact mummies. Yes looters la la la but also focused gravity wave rectifiers. Sandstone is hardly an ideal material, though easier to stack than neutronium, it takes a heckload of rock to brute force spacetime into submission. Take away the limestone tuning layer, however, and they lose focus. The payload could end up anywhere. Or anywhen—as long as the transmitter is bigger than the threshold size, range is essentially unlimited. Building a bigger one just allows a bigger payload chamber. The receiver, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be very big at all; you just gotta make sure it’s big enough to fit the contents, and didn’t we make a mess learning that one. Anyway, it’s next door, come see.#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot
(DIR) Post #B26J6FtW7GEJisc0dU by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-09T03:23:57Z
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❯ cat bin/itsdnssudo dscacheutil -flushcache; sudo killall -HUP mDNSResponder
(DIR) Post #B27ysYHxJwcvwy9RXU by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-10T01:39:22Z
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You favourite new JLCPCB fabrication option:
(DIR) Post #B2G5BX8C0C0mqshM4e by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-13T23:35:08Z
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My cat brings me things she’s caught when she wants to play fetch. Anyway youse can stop looking for dark matter now, we found it. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot
(DIR) Post #B2G7k4YcQkN0H9ekN6 by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-14T00:39:19Z
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@vik a bit like the ruined christmas bauble she brought me for fetch this morning :;)
(DIR) Post #B2ICl9Lczdd9Vepglk by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-15T00:44:52Z
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@futurebird this story has saved my day from being bleh.
(DIR) Post #B2Krre5A7Z6l0NGbui by Unixbigot@aus.social
2023-03-27T22:30:52Z
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Remember, the safety of your Galaxy Class cruiser depends on installing the correctly rated fuse at all bridge consoles. Always consult your manual to ensure that the correct color-coded fuse is present.
(DIR) Post #B2SbiyV8VqqZSeUPFg by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-20T00:37:36Z
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Ohai Canberra. I am sitting in a plane on a tarmac while surrounded by people standing up with inexplicable eagerness to be in you. #EverythingOpen #eo2026
(DIR) Post #B2Wefg2bleEbpm6XNw by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-21T23:57:15Z
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@alter_kaker @futurebird my favorite example is an Australian bank that wanted to do a campaign addressing their top 200 high-net-worth customers. Due to inattention to correct placeholder replacement, two hundred letters went out each beginning with the same salutation “Dear Rich Bastard”…
(DIR) Post #B2ZF1mR8edtMhsKxmK by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-23T05:09:12Z
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Legiterally cannot tell if this #EverythingOpen #eo2026 locknote is a gag. Maybe i ran out of brain before i ran out of conference?
(DIR) Post #B2ZF1nRAvzW1oHMVTU by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-23T05:36:22Z
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Calling it, absolutely a gag.
(DIR) Post #B2ZT58hNjx05yhQlVY by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-23T00:14:38Z
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“Easy, no? No.” - @vik Olliver #EverythingOpen #eo2026
(DIR) Post #B2lZpM8OlZE9uMYNTE by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-27T04:08:03Z
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And the car which was rear ended at the train station while i was in Canberra is off away on a truck to the smash repairs. $INSURER, bless their little cotton socks, has deemed it a no-fault claim.
(DIR) Post #B2lZpNZNQkOyMKBRA0 by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-29T04:23:04Z
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Wow, didn’t see this coming but the car is a write off and the insurer will pay us its market value, which is slightly above what we paid for it. This is not entirely a terrible outcome given the current and future running cost of a v8 SUV.
(DIR) Post #B2lv5pEWRYZfpL71ZA by Unixbigot@aus.social
2026-01-29T08:48:17Z
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@futurebird I grew up in their range; green ants are a source of food and medicine among first nations people, though this does nothing to disabuse my notion that most “peasant delicacies” are a consequence of “the chap with the sword gets the cheeseburger”