Posts by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
(DIR) Post #AX69L1kFpzTrtbokVc by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2023-06-26T21:39:18Z
11 likes, 1 repeats
Happy Pride! At Henrietta (NY) Pride this evening. (Description: selfie of a woman wearing a black velvet dress. CW: selfie, eye contact)
(DIR) Post #AX6QMrtZ81It9BdWQS by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2023-03-09T02:12:37Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
New #introduction.I’m Nikki.I’m a #business #operations #academic living in #UpstateNY. Love #teaching, need to do more #research.I’m #transgender, and #transitioning.I’m a #geek. I love #reading, need to get to #writing again (both academic and non), love #scifi and #anime and pretty much anything to do with #learning. (For some reason, on a #philosophy kick right now.)For exercise, I love #cycling, in particular distance cycling. Everything else right now is nebulous.#trans
(DIR) Post #Ac00YQHzpHRSg2cVge by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2023-11-20T12:11:41Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.Remember those killed by ideologies that would see us gone.Take joy in those that you share a time and space with. Mourn the dead.Cherish the living.:BlobhajTransPrideHeart:#trans #tdor
(DIR) Post #ApMEGpEqDKuyWSGC6S by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2024-12-23T20:39:30Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Wow. I’ve never been cursed by a fortune cookie before.
(DIR) Post #Apcz31ndH7CX7MIwnA by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-01-01T02:39:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
So… my brief thoughts on 2024 as it ends. This was the most challenging year I’ve ever experienced, without a doubt. This was painful in ways I am still processing. Some physical; the recovery from surgeries took a lot out of me. But the challenges felt most acutely are those of the heart, of the soul. Trans people, I have discovered, are a mirror; in us, people reflect their hearts, for good and bad. Like wait staff, people that mistreat us show only the gaping hole in themselves. It is thus that I have learned. This is what love is, by its presence, by its absence. I lost friends. I’ve seen familial relationships damaged, perhaps never to recover. But I have seen such caring, such compassion, Such community, such friendship, as to take my breath away. I found found family. For that alone, this year was worth it. 1/? 🧵 #trans #transgender
(DIR) Post #Apcz32wB2pd8e9JHkW by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-01-01T04:01:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
The physical, like the emotional and spiritual, also had its challenges and its rewards. January 1 was spent driving 250 miles with genital packing, catheter, and foley, to get these removed following a correction to my bottom surgery after a skin graft didn’t take. Looking back, I didn’t give myself time to heal. I was in the classroom teaching less than three weeks after that correction, and less than six weeks after the original bottom surgery. Not the brightest of moves, but one I felt necessary. Slowly, my body healed. It was making repairs while the ship sails. It also meant discovering myself, a slow and arduous process while healing. Difficulties happened; nobody gives you a manual on how my body worked. It took time, it took patience, it took a few wrong turns. But I’m me. I’m me. One year of that is better than a millennia of my old life. 2/3 🧵#trans #transgender
(DIR) Post #Apcz33sJYg8PYSViMq by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-01-01T04:13:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Overall, I think that’s the point, what so many cis people don’t understand. I could only survive a few decades as a male. It nearly killed me; if I hadn’t transitioned when I did, I would be very dead right now. Every day I live now? House money. House money. My transition bought life. And I’m going to fight for this life - for me, for others - as long as I’m able. This year was a fucker of a year. Next year threatens horrors I don’t dare imagine. But these are, literally, the best days of my life. Up to now, these are the only days of my life that truly matter. I feel, for the first time in forever. To paraphrase @MzAprilDaniels , this Is Right. This Is Necessary. After what we’ve seen, may your next year meet all of your most beautiful dreams. Heaven knows we’ve earned them. 3/3 🧵 end. #trans #transgender
(DIR) Post #AqgzUcSXQGwrr5mCUS by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-02-01T15:23:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror… loved what I saw… and smiled. Everyone should have the chance to wake up, look in the mirror, and love who they are. It took me close to half a century to get to this point; at least I have seen this day. :QueerCatHeart_Trans: #trans
(DIR) Post #AsciQQpfNRLfTkaBGK by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-03-31T16:38:14Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
:QueerCatHeart_Trans: Happy #transdayofvisibility , everyone!We are here. We will always be here. We're not going away. I'm Nikki. I'm a college professor here in Upstate NY. I started transitioning in 2019, and publicly came out in 2022. Right now life is interesting, but the last couple of years I wouldn't trade for anything. I'm me. I'm finally me. :QueerCatHeart_Trans: #trans #transgender
(DIR) Post #Aw8Fj8hqikuGq5SftQ by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-07-14T18:18:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird So much this. Society attaches so much weight to this idea of being a man or being a woman that we drive binary folks to anxiety, let alone the conflicts enby folks experience. When I was growing up, I was taught that boys were boys, girls were girls, and heaven help you if you try to cross that line. It wasn't until I read Bornstein as an adult that I realized just how hazy that line really was, and that it was possible to not call either side of the binary home. Rigid concepts of gender hurt everyone - even the cis.
(DIR) Post #AxAqaXMFWucdda2fx2 by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-07-20T00:05:56Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
In my time in the queer community, I’ve been to a few Prides. I’ve been to some of the smallest and some of the largest; I’ve nearly collapsed from exhaustion at Nyack, NY #Pride, I’ve partied with Equality Texas in Austin, and I’ve marched to massive crowds down the streets of Washington D.C. during #WorldPride this year. That said, there is something about hometown Pride that’s different. To understand why, some understanding of the queer ecosystem in a fairly large city is needed. It’s a community with neighborhoods, though not in the same way as the cis would understand the term. Many of the social structures and outlets of cisheteronormative society are tainted by the assumptions cishets demand, so we built our own. There are queer choirs, there are queer bands, there are queer dance troupes. We have queer football teams (both American and association - and, I suspect somewhere, Canadian and Australian and rugby), queer baseball and softball (and a shoutout to any queer cricket teams out there), queer basketball, queer hockey, queer cycling, queer roller derby. We have groups for LGBTQ+ kids, for those just coming to terms with being LGBTQ+, and for senior citizens who’ve been through decades of this. We have queer groups for just about every ethnic and religious group imaginable. In other words, within any large community, there is a queer community within, which (like the larger community) are designed to explore almost every interest imaginable, in an environment far more welcoming than cishet society provides. And the one place where all of those groups come together is Pride. It is the gathering place - the queer community, in all its beautiful and quirky glory. The point is inclusion rather than exclusion; all of us are excluded from areas because of who we are, so the point is to be as inclusive as we can. It’s as close to a general assembly of queer community as exists. It is a family reunion, in the best sense of the term. And no matter where we’ve gone, it’s always good to come back home, to our found family. Can you dig it? :QueerCatHeart_Trans: #queer #trans #lgbtq
(DIR) Post #AxAqdwyUk9aTxIYhMG by NicolaElle@chaosfem.tw
2025-08-02T01:12:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Others have given their thoughts on the struggle of being #trans tonight. I thought about giving my go-to words on the subject, until they kind of expanded.You must survive. Too many enemies would delight in your death. Let me expand on that so you understand it.You must survive. You are worthy of survival, you are deserving of survival. The world needs your light and life, especially now. Light the way, especially for the generations to come. And the last thing this world needs is encouragement for people who would delight in the pain and suffering of others. Let your survival, let your joy in the face of their monstrosities, be a middle finger to their pathetic existence.You Must Survive. (And, by now, if you are USian, that means seeking to leave the country in an organized manner if you can, and having an escape plan if you can't. Even if it's just a go-bag and a planned route, have an escape plan.)