Posts by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #A9aPRwEs3fs5ohcNXc by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-07-23T16:46:26.979443Z
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@Chronic-Yonic @tangleofsnakes I completely agree, it proving that they're very different things is so, so important - but I'm now very tightly holding on to how "being trans" is very deeply linked to being gay, as it's both by design and by accident a way to exterminate us. My opinions on transgenderism are far more nuanced and informed for being homosexual, and as a result being pressured to "become OSA", either through rape by girlcock or surgical castration. I can't separate trans issues from a direct attack on us anymore, and I think that's a very important part of resisting them.
(DIR) Post #A9oSWt0ry803TaLbyi by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-07-30T11:26:55.547547Z
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Apologies for wall of text, but I'm not really sure what I should do and would love some advice.So, my dad basically cut contact with me several years ago. He'd say maybe 6 words to me per year, texting happy birthday and that's about it, even when I visited my parents when they were still together. We're now a couple of months into separation, which is wonderful and I'd been moved out quite a while but visiting my mom and younger brother has been really enjoyable, which it never was before.But then it turns out my dad has been just completely closed off to everyone, I was one of the first but he basically stopped talking to the other two as well, even when he was living with them full time, and just never realised he didn't ever ask how their day was, or say ANYTHING to them unless it's monologuing about one of his antiques they're not interested in. He had no idea this was an issue until my mum told him. I'm not going to start talking to start talking to him without him knowing what he's been like for me, idgaf so I was originally going to wait until the divorce is less fresh, because he was completely blindsided and devastated despite my mum moving into my old room years ago. But now it turns out that when he's been visiting my brother every other weekend, he just repeats the same few monologues over and over the entire weekend until my brother has to get up and walk away for some peace out of exhaustion (he also has CFS+chronic pain) but my dad will wait 10 minutes and follow him, rinse and repeat. It's making him miserable, almost dangerously so, and it's hugely damaging his desire (small as it was already) to even let him try and build a relationship again. He also needs our dad to know how he's impacted him and stop trying to just chat like nothing's wrong with no acknowledgement, but he hasn't got enough space from him to be ready for that conversation.So tonight I'm going to basically say to my dad how he's actually been shitty, I barely consider him a relative at all and he cut me off out of nowhere without even realising, and that he needs to understand that and approach talking to me with that in mind. That said, he's got to be some kind of mentally ill to have not noticed all of this, and he's also devastated by my mum separating for the same reason (and she has others, but she's told him about him withdrawing) and I don't know, I'm so nervous about it now. He's (accidentally, through putting a lot of effort into trying to talk to him) making life miserable for my brother, he's responsible for a lot of my own issues over the years that I'm only just getting to the end of, and he's damaged my relationships with the rest of my family. I'm worried about being too brutal and really hurting him, part of me wants to snap and hurt him for what he's doing to my brother, but at the same time, he's clearly trying now and he obviously really does care, he's just so deep in depression he has no idea. For my sake, it doesn't matter at all how the conversation goes because I can very easily never see him again, but now it's laying the groundwork for me to support my brother (who's much younger) through his version of the conversation in a few weeks. I also need to get much more confident with organising what I'm actually going to say. Any tips?
(DIR) Post #A9oTKw1B4QzjH7MAlM by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-07-30T11:35:58.389763Z
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@plasmometer This is why games should have mandatory silent protagonists
(DIR) Post #A9oTmwQ1AsMicsKWUy by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-07-30T11:41:01.673676Z
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@susannunes I think intersectionality as a concept is potentially useful, when used in a specific way. The misogyny I experienced as a femme, straight passing late teen is very, VERY different from the misogyny I experience as a butch woman now, and as far as I know, intersectionality USED to mean that being hated for multiple things impacts on how all of them manifest.
(DIR) Post #A9oTxwgwV38UerUfZ2 by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-07-30T11:43:01.323038Z
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@susannunes I think intersectionality as a concept is potentially useful, when used in a specific way. The misogyny I experienced as a femme, straight passing late teen is very, VERY different from the misogyny I experience as a butch woman now, and as far as I know, intersectionality USED to mean that being hated for multiple things impacts on how all of them manifest.But, of course, outside of how it incurs a specific type of misogyny, homophobia is nothing to do with feminism and shouldn't ever be made the responsibility of feminism.
(DIR) Post #A9yz7PtlvhC5pSDwBs by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-04T13:19:11.153904Z
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@Chronic-Yonic I'm not, in the grand scheme of things, an older lesbian (I'm 22), but every once in a while I see a girl, sometimes a kid, sometimes a teenager, look at me wearing my men's jeans and men's boots just look at me in *that* way that makes me feel so important for being visible. Like the last time it was a girl with her hair up in a football shirt just staring like I was the coolest thing ever, and I just really hope that I can help even just the tiniest bit show the other girls who need it that it's okay. I know I definitely keep a sharp lookout for us, and every single time I've shared that particular eye contact with a woman who just knows is so important to me. To the 50s-ish butch couple I saw in the supermarket last week, I love you and I'm still happy about it
(DIR) Post #AA16Cc7L12HzATukFM by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-05T13:47:59.699534Z
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@ArtistBristol @HebrideanHecate @AnneBevan @Chronic-Yonic @Debbie_TriptychTwins @Eggster https://imgur.com/gallery/9RJz1sr This is apparently the sign he had up
(DIR) Post #AA5Ia6ReOtQRyDDp6O by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-07T14:25:32.348591Z
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@Chronic-Yonic I wanted to be a jockey... I'm now 5'8", so I'm not sure I'd be doing that well! Luckily I've found a career I'll enjoy a whole lot more too, though.
(DIR) Post #AAFT4CSvWSpwS7PNAG by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-12T12:10:08.727952Z
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@Dingo123 though I have also been called a man for being a gnc lesbian
(DIR) Post #AANcHIKhTNgdGZYgxk by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-16T10:31:02.826016Z
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Is it irrational that the phrase "non-straight" immediately makes me brace for incoming homophobia?
(DIR) Post #AARVj4PabfHvMMWq3M by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-18T07:36:28.622831Z
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@Mazikeen @Jar Just looked it up and the first summary I found is this"Girl Mans Up (2016), a young adult LGBT contemporary novel by M-E Girard, follows a protagonist grappling with gender identity issues, and what it means to be a boy, a girl, or genderqueer."We really can't have anything nice, can we
(DIR) Post #AAS2T7End3FVyiTvto by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-18T13:43:21.584024Z
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@Mazikeen @Jar Yeah, I started reading it and she even gets asked directly multiple times if she wants to be a boy, and even if she might be trans, and always (so far) is very sure that she's not, she's butch. Also I was expecting it to be just a fun YA adventure, but damn some of it really hurts.
(DIR) Post #AAS8jC8LnDiRWNW1qq by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-18T14:53:29.559128Z
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@Mazikeen @Jar Yeah so far it's a weird mixture of really really relatable and being what might have happened if I'd escaped wanting so desperately to be feminine that I thought I genuinely was. And obviously looking 100% straight until I was 22 saved me from a whole lot of shit, but I do also wish I'd had a bit longer to come to terms with it, or that I'd ever been cool enough to do what I never even realised I wanted. I so respect the butch women who have always just been themselves.
(DIR) Post #AASWJmovAUEmfoqRkG by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-18T19:17:49.634559Z
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@LadyMont it's even worse than that though, it's that any woman capable of acknowledging that she is a woman is oppressing all men who don't want to be men, including because they fetishize their perceived degradation via becoming a woman.
(DIR) Post #AAUNtDGChcqeLZJTZQ by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-19T16:52:47.598979Z
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@PedanticBohemian Can't make myself read past calling openly gay ppl queer, using queer at every possible turn, and then talking about how hard trannies have it because they get murdered all the time, apparently. Yeah sure.
(DIR) Post #AAUO7bxzdrt11gf2fI by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-19T16:55:24.196868Z
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@PedanticBohemian Surely I'm not the only one who feels like vomiting after reading shit like "Lately, a good chunk of my time is centered on telling queer love stories. It’s a pretty cush privilege, and one that’s only possible because of those who wrote their own stories before me. Narratives of queerness, in which queerness is treated with... "
(DIR) Post #AAUOR4hl1D4rerLcQq by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-19T16:58:55.037875Z
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@Chronic-Yonic And you can also be the absolute poster child, so very obviously true trans from childhood, deep and crippling complete dysphoria, not groomed into it, completely sure it was transition or die and STILL detransition. Because transition doesn't help and is a lie.
(DIR) Post #AAXlKjW7lH6Qd0jOYi by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-21T07:59:37.883637Z
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@diversity_racket @alex @noagendashowvideo @thendrix @xue If you're not causing an animal suffering, it's ethically fine. But no, I wouldn't eat roadkill, and I'd doubt many vegans would. I'd also be fine with, say, making/wearing jewellery that uses real animal bones I'd collected ethically, at least from a veganism standpoint.
(DIR) Post #AAc9LWQeiXEW3zeMtc by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-08-23T10:47:31.936802Z
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@Chronic-Yonic I've just started doing this, and when a scrote is staring at me (presumably for being a dyke) just staring back with a look of disgust. Only tried it a couple of times so far though
(DIR) Post #ACG5yVnrO3oiG4rD0q by Nagaraja@spinster.xyz
2021-10-11T15:10:18.602938Z
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@EmmaFaber Exactly. But don't you dare say it out loud, that's misandry and men's feelings might get hurt!!