Posts by HG@beige.party
(DIR) Post #AyInbaDHqHUyDXhmwS by HG@beige.party
2025-09-17T00:31:30Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
If I were named Stephanie, I would say "Stephanitely" instead of "yes."
(DIR) Post #AyQ0usQozRkDjWHmTY by HG@beige.party
2025-09-20T14:07:14Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
If I was eating dinner with someone and they started doing influencer stuff (big eyes, rhythmic head nods, wiggling a sandwich at me), I would be rude. Cruel, even.
(DIR) Post #AyQ0v0lK16tdZPwGXY by HG@beige.party
2025-09-20T14:13:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
What the fuck are you pointing at? Why are you making orgasm face over a salted tomato? Why am I even here? I can eat anywhere.
(DIR) Post #AyeVMoOw5rD9apht4K by HG@beige.party
2025-09-28T03:24:48Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
The top brass watching Pete Hegseth fumble his way through "Smoke On The Water" as he swears and insists that he can play it real good when he's sober.
(DIR) Post #AzSI3iwMaYInebuFvc by HG@beige.party
2025-10-21T16:24:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Are nachos salad? The answer could have major implications for the Discourse.
(DIR) Post #B0V2v0arb0ebYRWLb6 by HG@beige.party
2025-11-22T04:42:38Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I'm at a fundraiser for my kid's school. I don't really know anyone and I haven't figured out what secret side quest I can do here that will amuse me. I'm gonna eat shrimp until someone stops me.
(DIR) Post #B0V2v9fRrKfXhGjdUe by HG@beige.party
2025-11-22T04:53:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Me:
(DIR) Post #B0V2vIRFFVegtp9v6W by HG@beige.party
2025-11-22T06:28:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
What is the LD50 on shrimp? I'm sick.
(DIR) Post #B0aZXtW5IcRrJWY5yK by HG@beige.party
2025-11-24T23:51:03Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Annual reminder that the best turkey is two chickens.
(DIR) Post #B0aZXuWpXKdgS7uCm0 by HG@beige.party
2025-11-24T23:57:35Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Through aggressive artificial selection, we have transformed the chicken into a walking* smorgasbord that mocks creation itself. It practically splits itself into eight palatable pieces. It's a machine that turns grain and suffering into meat. The turkey, by contrast, is a garbage bird whose shitty flesh should protect it from the scourge of human predation.*I'm told they are working on solving the "walking" problem.
(DIR) Post #B0dURnxp78pU3hgEz2 by HG@beige.party
2025-11-25T21:39:48Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
Tuesday moose nap:
(DIR) Post #B1AEZxiFZ7DjYowQJk by HG@beige.party
2025-12-12T06:09:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*screaming and pounding my fists on the ground in a prone position* But I don't WANT to be 38!
(DIR) Post #B24FXZh7os3golfRLM by HG@beige.party
2026-01-08T00:48:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
The political disagreements I want to have with friends and family are about, like, incremental adjustments to fisheries quotas and relevant experience criteria for selecting board members to run public utilities.
(DIR) Post #B24FXaiE2GX5yTBphI by HG@beige.party
2026-01-08T00:53:21Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I'm gonna whip forks at my uncle if he opposes the one-point increase to the mill rate to expand public transit, though.
(DIR) Post #B24FXbWuzn5AVguJiC by HG@beige.party
2026-01-08T00:56:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"We are gonna rename the conference center dedicated to a colonizing shitbird after your mom, because she too is a place of public accommodation."
(DIR) Post #B24FXcLFydLf1oSWAq by HG@beige.party
2026-01-08T01:14:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"bUt wHaT AbOuT rEcTaL uLtRaSoUnDs FoR pEoPlE wHo ArE dIfFeReNt? WhAt AbOuT a CatApUlT fOr pEoPlE wHo TaLk DiFfErEnT?"But what about the fuck is wrong with you? We want to argue about free skate time at the municipal rink, not whatever the hell that is.
(DIR) Post #B24FXdT5mzD6WP8I1g by HG@beige.party
2026-01-08T07:00:43Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@su_liam I don't think the government should be involved.
(DIR) Post #B2VFtUpZYGkx6lXXIu by HG@beige.party
2026-01-20T15:45:37Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
When I was young, my eyebrow hairs would just stop growing at a certain length. Now, nothing makes sense.
(DIR) Post #B2em6Btfv9wCQJk168 by HG@beige.party
2026-01-25T20:05:38Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Idea for a new account: Dom Francisco de Avis, a 15th-century Portuguese adventurer who is somehow online in 2026. He is overwhelmingly preoccupied with obtaining personal glory, contesting Spanish claims in the spice islands, monopoly trading, fire superiority, determining longitude, abducting local pilots, beard care, finding Prester John, and dispensing rough justice to everyone who stands in his way.
(DIR) Post #B2em6KteScGaKqncoK by HG@beige.party
2026-01-25T20:07:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Aping the orotund style of Renaissance diplomacy would be a challenge.