Post B5w97002SwSLZO52a8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) More posts by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) Post #B5w4IPdH0KjuU13SzI by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-03T23:54:53Z
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Most places with a cryptid try to make it make a little sense. "Well, you see there are these primates from the last Ice Age and ... " or " ... this lake is very old and catfish never stop growing so you can't rule out that one is the size of bus..."But not NJ. "There is a devil in the woods. It's gonna get you.""so... how did it get there? what's the deal?""... it's the devil."
(DIR) Post #B5w4Pve6NUI7nX1hya by LJ@zirk.us
2026-05-03T23:56:11Z
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@futurebird apparently there is a museum of cryptids in Maine. I'm totally going to take a road trip there this summer. :)
(DIR) Post #B5w4TqFiN8AcEGUACW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-03T23:56:57Z
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I'm a huge fan of any cryptid that is simply a very large fish. Especially if it has a name.
(DIR) Post #B5w4WCh3uKnQPMP464 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-03T23:57:23Z
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@goaty Is that one of those creatures from the edges of old maps??
(DIR) Post #B5w4cVPBFdomB82o0e by michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
2026-05-03T23:58:29Z
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@futurebird A large fish cryptic just seems lazy, like the locals aren’t even trying.
(DIR) Post #B5w4fsLAR1nABCm3Gq by Kierkegaanks@beige.party
2026-05-03T23:59:06Z
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@futurebird megalodon johnson
(DIR) Post #B5w4iqIiTTA2it2gzo by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-03T23:59:38Z
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@michaelgemar OK but this is the only one that ever really scares me if I go swimming. Toes don't feel so safe, you know?
(DIR) Post #B5w545TDGp5zqp5Ahc by SKleefeld@retro.pizza
2026-05-04T00:03:27Z
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@futurebird The Legend of Phil's Pond is just a very testy koi named Phil
(DIR) Post #B5w5AVxRhdlPjqHw5A by phryk@mastodon.social
2026-05-04T00:04:38Z
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@futurebird I'm still kinda hoping that there's a giant freshwater version of dunkleosteus somewhere… that'd make for some terrifying stories.
(DIR) Post #B5w7VT006Aj2YFbNGy by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T00:30:43Z
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@Jaicup This would be more terrifying in a way. What does it mean if you can see a water bear with a simple magnifying glass? What else is larger and by how much?!?
(DIR) Post #B5w7iIKj44g9EkPeS0 by wordshaper@weatherishappening.network
2026-05-04T00:29:23Z
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@futurebird Jim?
(DIR) Post #B5w7iJXAbIE8xdF6UC by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T00:33:09Z
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@wordshaper "Ol Jimmy Gum-Mouth, the school-bus sized catfish eats someone every summer. He eats you in one gulp. They say the water won't even ripple. Only comes out when the lake is still as glass and the fog is hanging low... But the town council has been covering up to not scare the tourists."
(DIR) Post #B5w7rDnZIJKhmL9zgO by wordshaper@weatherishappening.network
2026-05-04T00:34:39Z
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@futurebird oh, sure, but really everyone loves Jim the Fish!
(DIR) Post #B5w81XlDvjjaaOz9sm by jannem@fosstodon.org
2026-05-04T00:36:37Z
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@futurebird @Jaicup The ancient game "Crush Crumble and Chomp" had you play as a monster attacking a city. One of the playable monsters was the spider that bit Spiderman. It escaped into the NYC subway system where it grew huge and lived off subway passengers (the manual notes it took several months for anyone to notice). That was a fun scenario, and would make for a good movie.
(DIR) Post #B5w8Dcg9TDihJZNBSq by jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
2026-05-04T00:38:48Z
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@futurebird @wordshaper This is from "Fishead" by Irvin S. Cobb, published in 1913.But the biggest of them all are the catfish. These are monstrous creatures, these catfish of Reelfoot—scaleless, slick things, with corpsy, dead eyes and poisonous fins like javelins and long whiskers dangling from the sides of their cavernous heads. Six and seven feet long they grow to be and to weigh two hundred pounds or more, and they have mouths wide enough to take in a man’s foot or a man’s fist and strong enough to break any hook save the strongest and greedy enough to eat anything, living or dead or putrid, that the horny jaws can master. Oh, but they are wicked things, and they tell wicked tales of them down there. They call them man-eaters and compare them, in certain of their habits, to sharks.
(DIR) Post #B5w8f6ubAllMtpEmYa by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T00:43:44Z
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@Jaicup Ant can already ride other ants. Ant size range is wild. This is an "acron ant" (temnothorax) and a carpenter ant. These aren't even the largest and smallest ants, just two ants you can find in Eastern Europe who can meet like this in the wild. Remarkable photo by Bakos Ádám
(DIR) Post #B5w97002SwSLZO52a8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T00:48:51Z
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@jrdepriest @wordshaper I think my grandpa read me this book or something similar. I have this constant and unexplained worry at all times that a big catfish might eat me.
(DIR) Post #B5w9exzqQ5eJCeBcfI by waitworry@sakurajima.moe
2026-05-04T00:54:58Z
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@futurebird @jrdepriest @wordshaper those ones they are describing are just babies compared to the ones in Thailandhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mekong_giant_catfish"Attaining a length of up to 3 m (9.8 ft), the Mekong giant catfish grows extremely quickly, reaching a mass of 150 to 200 kg (330 to 440 lb) in only six years.[3] It can reportedly weigh up to 350 kg (770 lb).[3] The largest catch recorded in Thailand since record-keeping began in 1981 was a female measuring 2.7 m (8 ft 10 in) in length and weighing 293 kg (646 lb). "
(DIR) Post #B5w9iNOyQ67ergZAcy by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T00:55:35Z
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@violetmadder Cat was playing lazy by the pond, booping the fish on the head and having forbidden cat thoughts. Then you suddenly see the cat backing up and turning to run... but you can't see what's in the water?
(DIR) Post #B5w9kFdAHeOpLI68qu by varx@cybersecurity.theater
2026-05-04T00:55:55Z
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@futurebird Yeah, a giant fish isn't a cryptid, it's just a fish being Very Successful (and yes, possibly a bit terrifying, but not a cryptid).
(DIR) Post #B5wBKxItUAa7AfgMvQ by jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
2026-05-04T01:13:45Z
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@futurebird @wordshaper 💯% same fear from my uncle telling me stories about the catfish he'd catch noodlin'.
(DIR) Post #B5wBnY04du0r5jVsFE by michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
2026-05-04T01:18:54Z
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@futurebird @Jaicup That’s an amazing image.
(DIR) Post #B5wBqbtwaw0K3k6f4K by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:19:30Z
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@jrdepriest @wordshaper "You can catch some pretty big fish, but you need to be careful, because you get the wrong one and it will just gobble your arm... and keep going!"
(DIR) Post #B5wCH2LYtTMnbjcqWm by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:24:14Z
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@jrdepriest @wordshaper Thus the noodler has become the noodle. 🐟 🍜 😔 🪦
(DIR) Post #B5wCeS3hSnpe0oR5H6 by waitworry@sakurajima.moe
2026-05-04T01:28:28Z
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@futurebird @scattapilla @Jaicup snack time
(DIR) Post #B5wChG6uLLmlp9H6Qq by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:29:00Z
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@jrdepriest @wordshaper Wikipedia: "Catfisting" redirects here; not to be confused with catfishing.uh... OK. Thank you, wikipedia.
(DIR) Post #B5wCpRC51GAoW0atNo by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:30:29Z
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@waitworry @scattapilla @Jaicup Larger ants don't often attack smaller ants since they could get swarmed. Ants that feed on other ants tend to do "nest raids" taking eggs and larvae which have many more calories than adult ants.
(DIR) Post #B5wCzxvgAG3UwEwVyi by waitworry@sakurajima.moe
2026-05-04T01:32:22Z
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@futurebird @scattapilla @Jaicup yeah I guess the adults are mostly exoskeleton
(DIR) Post #B5wDBHoWZfRrnKziHw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:34:26Z
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@waitworry @scattapilla @Jaicup Ants really lean into the whole "I hardly worth eating, made mostly of parts to sting and bite and you'll get beat up by my sisters if you do" strat a lot. It's why there are so many creatures that mimic ants. Most things leave ants alone. (with notable exceptions, but even anteaters are going for the larvae not the adults.)
(DIR) Post #B5wDctcg6rDGsMcQVc by jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
2026-05-04T01:39:24Z
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@futurebird @wordshaper I would never, in one million lifetimes, utter the phrase "catfisting". That's just... it's... No. It's a "no" from me.
(DIR) Post #B5wDmsF06P4XUBIl2e by kate@aus.social
2026-05-04T01:41:10Z
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@futurebird @waitworry @scattapilla @Jaicup I hope it’s ok to ask a question —do differently sized ants recognise each other as ants?
(DIR) Post #B5wE258CSUwjoAN8rY by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-04T01:43:58Z
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@kate @waitworry @scattapilla @Jaicup I don't know if we can know if these ants of different species do. Though I think they might since ants treat adjacent colonies different from lone individual insects. But what about ants with a vast size difference who are from the same species? They don't just recognize each other but will share food, cooperate to do various tasks. Alex Wild has a great photo showing the size difference in leafcutter ants. These are sisters.https://www.alexanderwild.com/Ants/Making-a-Living/The-Farming-Ants-Leafcutters/i-NFgwdQj/A
(DIR) Post #B5wE9cc8MvNFgEy8rA by kate@aus.social
2026-05-04T01:45:18Z
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@futurebird @waitworry @scattapilla @Jaicup Oh! That’s extraordinary. Thank you.
(DIR) Post #B5wFfk0gVR4Dq6Kdiy by colhill@aus.social
2026-05-04T02:02:19Z
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@futurebird that IS an amazing image. And now I want a copy of the book @ https://antsite.eu/en/ants/hangyakalauz-hazai-hangyafajok-bakos-adam/
(DIR) Post #B5wIjfQhmFNcee4BYu by Gorfram@beige.party
2026-05-04T02:36:37Z
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@futurebird There’s an Oregon coast cryptid with no origin story that I know of.Bandage Man prefers the kind of rainy nights when the darkness seems impenetrable, and you’re alone with nothing but raindrops, pavement, and the huge empty void of the Pacific waiting at the bottom of the cliff on one side of the road.(Have I spent too much time driving in exactly those conditions? Yes, oh yes.)He doesn’t do anything- he just appears in the back seat of your car…*/
(DIR) Post #B5wIjnxc3mSN71WZxw by Gorfram@beige.party
2026-05-04T02:36:38Z
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@futurebird …or, preferably, the empty bed of your pickup truck and sits there, wrapped from head to toe in bandages like a mummy in a 20th century horror movie. Presumably these are from all the collisions he’s endured on what is, on a clear dry day, a fairly dangerous road. Some drivers (always a friend of someone’s cousin or something) are supposed to have found a small piece of bandage, sodden with rain & other fluids unfathomable, in the bed of their truck…*/
(DIR) Post #B5wIjvj1BvXHC4l2KO by Gorfram@beige.party
2026-05-04T02:36:39Z
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@futurebird …after sensing Bandage Man riding with them.He’s not a exciting cryptid: he doesn’t do anything (but sometimes shed), and he doesn’t have an origin story or a truly proper name.But I can attest that, when you’re alone with nothing but absolute darkness beyond road conditions that are trying to kill you, it’s hell to get him back out after you’ve once let him into your thoughts.
(DIR) Post #B5wJhnnHoAYTyFIrKq by bruce@darkmoon.social
2026-05-04T02:47:30Z
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@futurebird @jrdepriest @wordshaper There are rumors of monster catfish inhabiting the bottom of Canyon Lake in Texas. The lake, as one might surmise from the name, is very deep near the dam that forms it. (Texas has only one large natural lake. All others are dammed.)
(DIR) Post #B5wPzVA2QJnX7Qlgga by JSteven@wandering.shop
2026-05-04T03:57:56Z
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Wow! This is like a person standing next to a semi-truck!@futurebird @Jaicup
(DIR) Post #B5wQLLSHBquTO5iN60 by JSteven@wandering.shop
2026-05-04T04:01:52Z
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Just curious, are there any extinct species of ants larger than any of our surviving ones? It seems like, given the size of some other terrestrial arthropods (tarantulas, giant beetles, coconut crabs, to name a few) that much, much larger ants might at least be POSSIBLE.@futurebird @Jaicup
(DIR) Post #B5wbbkL1XgnygqLUye by TobyBartels@mathstodon.xyz
2026-05-04T06:08:05Z
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@futurebird @wordshaperI'm reading this in the voice of the bait shop clerk in the Catfish Lake episode of The Simpsons.
(DIR) Post #B5wcWx2D0eJuZdp3b6 by dlakelan@mastodon.sdf.org
2026-05-04T06:18:14Z
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@futurebirdWikipedia has an explanation involving the lack of birth control in the 1700s.
(DIR) Post #B5wrggsrPYI8gvYI64 by alexpsmith@beige.party
2026-05-04T09:08:15Z
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@futurebird I actually grew up in New Jersey! I remember we had an overnight class trip to the Pine Barrens, and I stuck away from the group activity bullshit and spent the entire time searching for the Jersey Devil.
(DIR) Post #B5wzkFIGjRdVuhdugy by Thebratdragon@mastodon.scot
2026-05-04T10:38:34Z
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@futurebird everyone likes Gerald it has to be said.
(DIR) Post #B5yTVsA58C7jtppsNU by JSteven@wandering.shop
2026-05-05T03:46:49Z
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@futurebird @Jaicup Not THIS big, of course...
(DIR) Post #B6E6Jmcuh9v2qEwl2u by futurebird@sauropods.win
2026-05-12T16:42:21Z
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@apophis @Jaicup I feel for the guy since this happens to me with people and ants all the time. "She was a massive ant!""wow how big""Almost two cm!!""*yawn*"":("