Post B39B2odeGWgR13WvDc by VivianHsiao@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by VivianHsiao@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #B38luFmNUQDVjPQwa0 by VivianHsiao@spinster.xyz
2026-02-09T08:48:53.703599Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
It is surprising that my younger sister has the same “freer” feeling when speaking in English as I do. We both agree that speaking in Mandarin Chinese brings the suppression of our real thoughts undeniably. And there is a cultural factor playing in this. For example, if we want to turn down someone’s request, we cannot say direct things like “No, thank you” or “I am good”. As Chinese speakers in Taiwan, we usually voice our rejection in an overpolite and subtle way--“I will reconsider your kind offer, and I will let you know my answer later.” Which most Taiwanese people will correctly understand as a refusal which embarrassed no one on the spot.Other than daily conversations, we express our thoughts and needs in private sphere in a euphemistic way, too. For instance, we seldom say “I love you” to our family members or “I care about you” to friends. At most times, we simply ask “do you miss me” or “are you ok”. Our society also does not value any individual’s emotional outburst even if it is sincere and positive to open a true conversation. Our society values one’s regulation of his or her emotions—namely, the conformity to countless social norms that are obeyed by most people.Personally, I don’t think which way of expression is better or superior. But this difference can shape a society in a powerful way. Language is everything. More and younger Taiwanese people are done with some out-of-fashion manners in this Chinese way of communication. Fairly speaking, I think we might all end up speaking English in the far future. That’s what Anglocentrism and globalism keep bringing to countries that speak different languages and cultures. If speakers of other languages want to resist, they must provide more convincing reasons that people can truly be themselves and interact with one another in more open way. Honestly speaking, I don’t think it has anything to do with colonialism in this case—though I might be called as a “white/Caucasian lover” by some Taiwanese people who would rather stay in a traditional society and the time which has already gone.
(DIR) Post #B38zkszqE1I9p89sw4 by Gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz
2026-02-09T11:59:00.586738Z
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@VivianHsiao This is very interesting. Thank you for posting it. There are tensions like this between many languages/cultures, but what you're describing sounds like the biggest difference between individual languages that are in contact.
(DIR) Post #B39B2odeGWgR13WvDc by VivianHsiao@spinster.xyz
2026-02-09T13:44:12.637834Z
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@Gnomeshatecheese Thanks for your reply, too. Yeah, I still remember the enormous culture shock when I watched Disney animations, Hollywood movies, and Western film works. Taiwanese people or East Asians never show their emotions so nakedly, very brutal to our elder audiences I may say. My younger sister and I were like, "Wait, can we speak like that to adults? Can we stop pretending we have no emotions needed to be comforted as kids?" But generally I think Western people are truer to themselves and others and that's the key to good mental health!😆
(DIR) Post #B39B2q76mTqJaiJxmC by Gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz
2026-02-09T14:05:29.655295Z
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@VivianHsiao I can imagine that must've been a real trip. Being Finnish, I and my compatriots are in a slightly different and way smaller cultural conflict. On the one hand we're expected to be reticent, toned-down and not make a big fuss about our emotions. But on the other hand, compared to especially American English-speakers, we're expected to be honest about them. For us, it's much better to keep our emotions back than to pretend to be something we're not. So if an American asks us how we're doing, we're not going to smile and say "great", we're going to honestly explain that well, our back hurts and our boss is being a jerk.Another factor in this is that we don't really do idle small talk, so any conversational opening will be treated as an honest enquiry into ourselves. Which can be a bit uncomfortable when it appears they're asking something we'd rather not talk about...Also, we don't really smile. Not unless there's a reason*. I've been told this is something foreigners find odd. *Like for example an unusually strong snow flurry. Not kidding, this happened once while I was in uni. There had been a strong snowfall during the night and the wind was still blowing thick plumes of snow around in the morning. I went to the uni as usual and happened to overhear one of the teachers from England explain how extraordinary it was to travel to work, because "everybody was SMILING!". And it's true. I was smiling as well.
(DIR) Post #B3B19eRNy75QBpKobI by VivianHsiao@spinster.xyz
2026-02-10T02:05:08.169518Z
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@Gnomeshatecheese Oh English-speaking Americans! Definitely can relate to your experiences! My Taiwanese friend who was once an exchange student in Germany told me that American classmate's "niceness" made many European peers feel awkward. I felt that too when American clients kept asking if everyone felt alright. Asians do not smile or laugh often. We tend to be quiet and listening in most circumstances. So I think it is a different way to show that we care in a different culture. It is just that Americans tend not to blend in when they are not in the US.🤣 And special reasons for smiles? I think it is the same for us. Most Taiwanese people would laugh so hard when seeing how our journalists wavering in the strong wind brought by a typhoon.
(DIR) Post #B3B19ftmY1OYiBd0V6 by Gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz
2026-02-10T11:24:05.479643Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@VivianHsiao Who knew Finns and Taiwanese could have so much in common! 😄 I've seen Americans complain that nobody smiles in the Nordic countries. As in people don't smile to strangers, apparently they think that's "unfriendly".Well if you smile to strangers in Finland everybody thinks you're either insane or drunk. Or possibly a Jehova's Witness. In all three cases, they will avoid you.