Post B2YvSOM0ItR2kbLbEW by dot@social.xenofem.me
(DIR) More posts by dot@social.xenofem.me
(DIR) Post #B2YvSOM0ItR2kbLbEW by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:21:12.466477Z
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every time I see a tranny call herself non-binary I can't help but read it as saying "trannies can't be women"
(DIR) Post #B2aBZmpHVXux6MY8ZM by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:36:00.671050Z
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@dot i go inverse on that one. Trannies are the most capable of nonbinary because the see the true non paticipationist cause within it and can actually abide by it by not being able to uphold patriarchal ritual. Nonbinary transfem is the leadership all other nonbinary should want to follow.
(DIR) Post #B2aBZoE8IdOHRjBUwa by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:42:19.471234Z
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@dot being fair though ive literally never seen these ppl call themselves nonbinary as much as just have it in their internet bios or mention they are ‘beyond gender’ when it gets mentioned. The ppl who bring attention to both in some verbal introduction arent doing themselves much favor. However im far passed the point of scrutinizing individual weakness.
(DIR) Post #B2aBe6kbN3Po3SQBU0 by ellenor2000@mastodon.top
2026-01-23T02:22:42Z
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@dot This is enbyphobia. #lang_en
(DIR) Post #B2aBe7Mt4i2XyCKl9s by kittenlikeasmallcat@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T03:50:42.724488Z
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@ellenor2000 @dot It can and does say this as often as when someone is totally in the closet about being a trans women (or being anything but cisgender (or really being anything on purpose) ). It's easily an intermediary closet, a closet foyer, a mudroom of the closet, a safe reserved denial, is it not? It can just as easily be, if we're keeping to the architectural metaphors, a means of not only leaving the closet but the house its in altogether. The phenomenon of tma nonbinary gender is more widely understood to be associated with the "leaving the house," so any time the alternative possibility is invoked, as seen in this post, I feel it ought to be read as a means of exploring and emphasizing that alternate "foyer" scenario. I'm sure this post invokes what it does for the sake of being challenging to the wide interpretation. Whether it has succeeded here isn't for me to say. The thing I understand this post to be saying, in gentler and more lumbering terms, is that the fear and denial associated with transitioning can be mitigated, at least theoretically, by not "going all the way," by stopping short of insisting on one's place in womanhood. It names the fear that a transfem might have that she isn't a woman and it takes it to its unexamined logical conclusion - that this impossibility is categorical. This post criticizes this fear with personal idiomatic hyperbole borne from experience inflated to make a point without diluting it by rote-naming its exclusions and exceptions - a perfectly possible and surely at least somewhat common nonbinary identity which isn't a result of fear. The exact proportions of how often "afraid"-nb and "fleshed out"-nb occur are immaterial. That each occurs is the point. We have to decide whether we think this semi-closet safety is ever actually safe. I say it isn't.For myself, I think it's important to mention that my own understanding of myself in relation to gender is in a lot of respects nonbinary. The thing that I have to put in huge flashing lights, however is that despite harsh opposition, I'm still definitively a woman - more pointedly a lesbian. I have to put it in those lights because I know that if I say I'm nonbinary, all but the most informed are going to instantly read that to say that I'm fundamentally a man "but quirky" or at best in any respect anything remotely like a man. This is wrong, so I make sure that the only time I'm talking about my gender being anything other than binary is when I can make this totally and convincingly clear, otherwise I am not nonbinary because I reject the safety and comfort offered to this ID (an id that retains manhood and does not insist on womanhood) by a world that daily invents new unthinkable levels of hatred for transgender women, binary or otherwise.
(DIR) Post #B2aBe8MZNNNd3VC1Im by kittenlikeasmallcat@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T04:02:43.184080Z
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@ellenor2000 @dot Disengaging with the salient points embedded in challenging material because its tone is harsh isn't doing anyone any favors.
(DIR) Post #B2aBeWLgCKvdRgxeFM by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T16:57:25.330029Z
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@kittenlikeasmallcat @ellenor2000 isn't that what i said?
(DIR) Post #B2aBthGZt8yPeMoMRE by winterklaus@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:51:06.807954Z
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@dot ehh as someone who used to be about the "im nonbinary, not a woman" thing you're not entirely wrong though this would have pissed me off a lot at the time. like others are saying the more correct perspective IMO is in making space in making space within Womanhood for more kinds of things and I'd definitely encourage transfem-aligned people who hold a similar rejection to ask themselves if it's not rooted in an internalised transmisogyny Or Otherwise a denied aspect of themselves. idk I could feel it's probably still based to uphold a rejection as a pure negation kind of vibe But I definitely wasn't living that v strongly myself.
(DIR) Post #B2aC2ZTiDKHQ6NBcGm by fujoshi@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T03:10:32.978506Z
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@dot if this is like meaning when trans women go from she/her to they/them i agree.
(DIR) Post #B2aC2ajLYgNdz9VcHI by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:01:43.840902Z
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@fujoshi excellent addition
(DIR) Post #B2aC3a9hBKhaUXJ1Jg by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:01:56.362103Z
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every time i see a tranny go from using she/her pronouns to they/them pronouns I can't help but read it as detransitioning
(DIR) Post #B2aC8aDeN83u8ZXYWG by Jazzcraft@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:36:05.633062Z
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@dot I'm a non binary trans woman because almost all life on this planet (as far as we know) evolved from a common ancestor and not all creatures reproduce in a binary fashion of having "males" and "feeeeeeemales" and just because this is a current obstacle capitalism puts in our way & refuses to help us overcome that does not mean we lack the ability to change it, and taking the future into account this must be changed if there's an interest in this species surviving in some form or another, particularly if we ever choose which rock we live on. Also intersex people exist.
(DIR) Post #B2aC8baNI7pkNLBDZw by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:02:49.421421Z
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@Jazzcraft are you intersex?
(DIR) Post #B2aCZqDP0W23ZCQDlQ by fujoshi@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:07:05.589319Z
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@dot literally same lmao this is why i do not fw jane remover
(DIR) Post #B2aCztW1MLWvKcYOVE by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:07:42Z
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@dot our hotter take along these lines is that white trannies don't get to opt out of white womanhood by adopting degendered pronouns
(DIR) Post #B2aD9dRHzAdCMqz8z2 by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:12:24Z
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@dot but as usual the it/its gringa uses the pronouns to deflect from us saying "the gringa pulled gringa shit on us" by making it about how we're misgendering them
(DIR) Post #B2aD9eu2XlDuuJRcR6 by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:14:13.484977Z
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@atax1a adopting different pronouns so that one can have a way to distance themselves from womanhood when it's convenient? damn, trannies really are women
(DIR) Post #B2aDKpWxN1Wl3OyTAW by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:15:58Z
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@dot and then using them to punch laterally/downward at the not-white tranny! white trans women are still white women!
(DIR) Post #B2aDThnzShx9hVAq4u by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:17:52.149441Z
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@atax1a in my experience, trannies are allergic to solidarity. i chalk it up to internalized transmisogyny
(DIR) Post #B2aDzh5bevJAkNfPLU by fujoshi@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:23:16.713987Z
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@ellenor2000 @dot that one friend who's too woke
(DIR) Post #B2aE4YnduKNkU7aKH2 by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:24:30.637244Z
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@atax1a most trannies are just a few steps away from seriously, unironically believing in "my transition is the only justified transition" and you can tell that no one has done this work of unpacking their shame and self-hatred by how they treat their fellow trannies. the closest most get is in realizing that systems of transmisogyny can very easily target them, and as such it's a good idea to avoid reinforcing these systems. but few trans women believe in, let alone truly understand the truth: trans women are women.
(DIR) Post #B2aE7VYOQrv3HorEPY by winterklaus@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:17:38.309840Z
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@dot not rly what i was saying
(DIR) Post #B2aE7WGLnR55U9QKvY by winterklaus@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:24:42.914217Z
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@dot whether or not we choose to use or not use any particular language feels irrelevant to the fact thay many trans women find ourselves already segregated from cis womanhood, so i dont blame anyone for trying to make their own territory "outside of" it. though really the territory we try and place ourselves in isn't relevant so much as adopting a broader feminist consciousness where it matters less what imaginary lines we draw in terms of identity. which is kind of where this one is at as one who has come to reject being nb
(DIR) Post #B2aESPwIVB6JxG0cbI by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:28:18Z
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@dot i mean the entity we're thinking about has reportedly been going around telling people that we're dangerous and abusive and "just hate her because she's white", so, yeah
(DIR) Post #B2aFAyfUk2O2PGOiVk by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:35:48Z
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@dot meantime, her partner, a woman north of 50 years old, goes around saying things like "i should have sowed more dissent against alex in their space while i was still there" and seems to constantly have this coterie of just-turned-18 trannies that she flies in, but we're the potentially-abusive party
(DIR) Post #B2aFB08xFzXuyvBl4K by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:36:52.652315Z
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@atax1a mmm, it sounds more like you're being treated as someone who speaks truth to beloved power than as a potential abuser, and that the latter is just a way to whitewash the disposability being levied your way. but what do i know, i'm not intimately familiar with the situation here
(DIR) Post #B2aFW5NgyivnJ78Tzt by atax1a@infosec.exchange
2026-01-23T17:39:56Z
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@dot yeah, see, we graduated high school over 20 years ago, but apparently these people haven't
(DIR) Post #B2aFnIEiR6kA6G8sds by dot@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:43:48.824379Z
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@atax1a they're just catching up on missed high school years(the joke being that most cis people don't mature out of the high school mindset either)
(DIR) Post #B2aFyHo2NOdTx0uCkC by winterklaus@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:34:34.861345Z
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@dot tbh i can see where that reading might or might not apply but I'd say without further evidence it would be projecting a bit much just based on a label which may or may not signal a problematic distancing or separation Vs something more like a positive expansion. like on the flipside I often see assertion of womanhood rejecting additional descriptors as shutting the door on those a few degrees more marginal in relation to womanhood
(DIR) Post #B2aFyIUDqYNc3qdtUu by winterklaus@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T17:45:18.552616Z
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@dot frankly I don't know the extent to which the perspective you're taking is more true I honestly haven't spent much time in critical transfeminist dialog with this as the one transfeminist group i was involved with irl IMO as far as i saw didn't rly make room for like, thinking about weird edges too much or if it came up it was often apologetically
(DIR) Post #B2aJD8BIk80OJ3YbmC by patchuun@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T02:25:30.988355Z
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@dot women can be nonbinary + "any sufficiently advanced feminism is indistinguishable from gender abolition"
(DIR) Post #B2aXnWGi3zKgnLKfx2 by kittenlikeasmallcat@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T21:00:59.126090Z
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@dot @ellenor2000 yea but i used six times as many words and said it twelve times more awkwardly so its different that way
(DIR) Post #B2ai0ZS8XCXfydXVOC by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-23T22:35:23.254745Z
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@atax1a @dot anybody who is drowning a woman in virtues 3 decades younger than her has no virtues at all. only a pile of resentments.